I Never Told You What I Do For a Living

Chapter Twelve: Pretty sure I love you

When I got home that night, I spent at least an hour pacing the floors of every part of the house.  It was hard to get a bottle of water, without thinking and thinking turns into pacing.  I eventually collapsed on my bed, but my feet were still a bit jumpy.  I heard tapping noises on my window, and I jumped up.  I walked to my window, and open the curtains.  Brian stands there, waving with a smile on his face.  I didn’t smile, I couldn’t.  I was too worried what they were all up to.  Instead I waved for him to come inside.  I closed my curtains when he wasn’t in view anymore.  I heard him running up the steps, and soon he was opening my bedroom door.  “It’s late, what are you doing here?”  As he stepped closer, I realized he was a complete mess. 

                I took a step back from him.  “You’re a mess, Brian.  What the hell?”  He continued walking towards me and I continued to back away from him.  I was backed against the wall, and I couldn’t move.  He lifted his hands, and caressed my face.  I looked at his arms, they were covered in dirt.  Sweat dripped from his face.  The stench that rose from him was not normal.  I was repulsed.  “Brian, you’re scaring me.  Stop it.” I tried shoving him away, but he would just come back.  He slammed me against the wall, and his eyes changed.  His smile was no longer there, and a growl rose from his throat.  My heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to pass out.

                His grip loosened and his face went soft.  He backed away from me with wide eyes.  I put my hand to my chest, and let go of the breath I was holding.  “What the hell was that?” I was breathless as I spoke.  He quickly took a few steps toward me, and pulled me tight to his chest.  “I’m so sorry.”  I was still shocked by his actions, I didn’t respond to his sudden case of affection.  I swallowed hard, and wrapped my arms around him.  The smell was worse as I turned my head into his chest.  I jerked away from him, and looked up at him.  “What happened to you?” I ask.

I gripped his face, and looked at him.  He has scratches all over his face, and a busted lip.  I gulped.  “Brian, what happened to you?” I repeated.  I’ve never seen Brian so angry.  I’ve never seen him so weak, either. 

                I brought him over, and sat him on the edge of my bed.  I removed his jacket, and pulled his shirt over his head.  I ran over to my desk, and turned the small light on.  I gasped at the sight of Brian’s torso.  He has a huge bruise on his side, and a few minor ones scattered among his body.  I kneeled down in front of him, and brushed my fingers across the bruises.  I pulled his arms away from his sides, and looked at them.  There were streaks of blood.  A few streaks on each arm.  I stood up, and walked to the bathroom to get a damp towel.  When I returned, I resumed the position I was in.  He had his eyes closed as I cleaned off his arms.  When they were clean of blood, I saw no wounds.  There was a lump in my throat.  “Brian,” I croaked.  “What happened?  I’m not asking again.”

He opened his eyes, and looked at me.  “I got into a fight.”

                “With who?”

                “I don’t know who it was.  He was drunk, and he attacked me.”

I shake my head, “By the ally?”

He did his best to nod.

Brian hasn’t lied to me, as far as I know.  “Why did you attack me?” I ask softly.

                “I don’t know.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”  I thought he was about to start crying.

I shushed him, and continued to clean him up.  I wondered were Jimmy was.  He hasn’t come home yet, and it’s almost three in the morning.  At this point, I didn’t care what time he would be home.

                I cleaned off Brian’s face, and then put his clothes in the wash.  When I came back to my room, Brian was still sitting there, at the edge of my bed in his boxers.  “That’s a good look for you.” I laughed, and sat down next to him.  He smiled, and grabbed my hand.  “Thank you, Emma.  For everything.”

I nod.  “I just want you to be okay.”

                “I am okay.”

I grazed my finger over his jaw and to his chin.  “Good.” I whispered.  I kissed him gently a few times before moving to the top of my bed.  I opened my arms for him to move into, and he did with no hesitation.  He rested his head on my chest, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  He draped an arm over my waist, and snuggled closer.  I started running my fingers through his hair, and his heart started beating normally along with his breathing.  I don’t know what’s gotten into him.  Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with him.  Or what he’s gotten himself into.  I’m worried about him, and I wish I could help him with whatever he’s going through.  He obviously refuses to tell me, so I’ll have to do some digging myself.  Or maybe I should just stay out of it.  I like that idea better— “I have to tell you something.” His voice interrupted my thoughts.

                He moved out of my arms, and sat up beside me.  This time, he opened his arms for me to move into.  I smiled, and carefully placed my head on his bare chest.  I placed my hand on his side, where the large bruise was.  I brushed my fingers over it softly, while listening to his heart beat.  “What is it?” I ask.

He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.  “Would this be the wrong time to tell you that I might be in love with you?”

I smiled.  “You might?” I looked up at him, and he was also smiling.

He cupped my face with one hand, brushing his thumb over my cheek.  “I’m pretty sure I am.”   His lips brush across mine, “I know I do.”  He kissed me, and I kissed him back with no hesitation.