The Journey Home

14 - Healing Her

Alexander

Jesus Christ. How the hell did I get to this point?

I watched Eileen step into my house, Angela in her arms. I should have let her go home, but witnessing her break down had broken down a part of me. So instead, she ended up at my house. I didn't ask anything afterwards, though the curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know the history and what she'd been through but I couldn't force her. The way she held onto me when I found her told me that she need an anchor to hold her down.

I was determined to be that anchor.

Addie was already asleep and Lucas was probably at a bar like he typically was. I, on the other hand, was exactly where I wanted to be.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked her after laying Angie down.

"No, thank you."

I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. Before, the dullness in her eyes bothered me to no end. Now, however, I wished the desperation in them would leave. I pulled her to my chest while we sat on the sofa in silence. She didn't need any words being spoken, she needed comfort. Her head rested on my chest while her hand was firmly held in mine.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, squeezing my hand. "I know that you're probably not used to all this drama, all this shit. I'm sorry that you had to witness that, I didn't ever want you to see that."

"I'm glad I was there." I placed a kiss on her head, knowing good and well that she would counter what I had said.

"It hurts."

I shut my eyes at her statement. It wasn't necessary for her to speak the words, the pain in her voice was enough proof as to how she was feeling. I raged, wishing I could have done anything, everything to take her pain away. I had placed the blame on her father during a brief argument I had with him, but I soon realized that they were both just as fractured.

Whatever happened between them had ruined their relationship beyond repair.

"Where does it hurt?"

"Here; everywhere. It won't go away," she said, placing her shaking hand over her heart.

I cupped her face in my hands, kissing her lips. She didn't fight it, she leaned into me, clinging to me as if I was her lifeline. I wanted her, there was no doubt about that. I wanted her happiness, I wanted her brokenness. I wanted to heal her so I showed her the only way I could.

I kissed her until we were breathless, until she could feel just how much she meant to me. She had invaded every part of my soul and being, and I knew that even though she didn't say it, she needed me as much as I needed her.

It wasn't about fucking anymore, it wasn't just her body. In fact, it wasn't her body at all. For the first time in my life I wanted someone not just physically, but every part of her.