The Bucket List

a walk down memory lane: part 1

"Ten?" He just nods. "Well, you remember where you were, right?"

"I mean, I guess. It was at a birthday party. I think it might have been Austin Newmaster, and his older brother told us about the game spin the bottle. Looking back, it was probably funny watching all these little kids kissing each other and getting all grossed out. Everyone just doing it on the cheek or whatever, but then Samantha spinned and it landed on me and she tackled me and kissed me on the mouth. Everyone was shocked and she was so embarrassed that she went home."

"Awe, poor girl." I say.

"So why did you need to know?"

"Because you never forget your first kiss. Yours was like eight years ago and you still remember. I wanted to remember mine in a positive way, you know?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, looking back, it probably could have happened before, but whatever. I'm not mad." I say, and he smiles.

"So, what do you have planned?" He asks.

"Nothing, really." I say. "I got takeout." He laughs.

"From where?" He takes a sip of the water on the table.

"Your dad's restaurant." He nearly chokes when he hears my words.

"You did what?" He asks, and I sink a little further in my seat. I don't know why I'm so nervous to be around him today. I just don't want to mess this up.

"Is that not okay?" I ask, instantly nervous.

"You went, right? Nobody else?"

"It was Liam..."

"...oh."

"But he won't tell anybody." I reassure him. "I didn't even tell him who owned the place."

"He didn't question it?"

"No." I pause for a second, and stand up to go get the takeout boxes. "Kevin, is there a reason you care so much?"

"About what?"

"The restaurant." He stops for a second, as if to think about what he wants to say.

"People usually associate fancy restaurants with rich people, and I just don't want people to see me like that." He says, "You know what I mean, right?"

"Yeah, of course." I say, "it's just that... I think it's really cool that he owns a restaurant, you know?"

"I guess. I don't know, it's just one of those insecurities."

"I'm sorry, did you just say you're... Insecure?"

"Shut up, Morgan." He says with a smile. "How did you remember what I got?" He asks.

"It was... one of the best days I've had in a while." I say, honestly. "From my parents, to the depression, to the diagnosis, I hadn't had any... real fun in a really long time."

"But that same night, I made you choke on water and cough up blood."

"It's okay." I say, "because even though it sucked, it still brought us closer."

"I guess you have a fair point." He says, and all of a sudden, look into his eyes, just like we used to, so many months ago. I feel fireworks in my stomach, as I flash a small smile. I want nothing more than to just throw myself at him and kiss him, but that will ruin what I had planned today.

We spend a couple more minutes eating and when we're done, I find myself staring at him, hoping that he wants to kiss me and much as I want to kiss him. He stares back at me and smiles. I stand up and take our plates away, keeping them in the office where Rachel is sitting there, doing homework and secretly making sure we don't break anything.

"How's it going?" She asks.

"So good." I say, "thank you." I'm about to walk back into the room when Rachel stops me.

"Wait. Take these." She hands me two mints. "Just in case." I pop them in my mouth and she winks. "oh, and this." She pulls a condom out of her pocket.

"Rachel!" I say, but the hand holding the condom remains extended out in front of me.

"Just in case!" She says, so I grab it and slip it into the pocket of my dress.

"Whatever. Thanks. I'm leaving."

I walk back into the room to find him standing in the middle of it.

"What are you doing?"

"Dance with me." He says, holding out his hand for me to take. I purse my lips and smile and then grab the remote control that controls the music. It starts playing a slow song and when I walk up to him, everything is perfect. I take his hand in mine, and his touch sends lighting up my arm and down my spine. I wonder if he got the same feeling.

He pulls me close and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I love you so much." I whisper, so quietly that I'm not even sure he can hear me, but I can feel him squeeze me a little bit tighter and I feel so much safer in his arms.

"I love you." He says, looking down at me. Without saying anything, I stand up on my toes and kiss him, and it doesn't feel like it usually does. It feels like the first kiss we ever had. I doesn't feel normal anymore, it's like the butterflies are in my stomach again, and my knees feel like they might collapse.
This one is less rough and more sweet and passionate.

And then he pulls away and we just stand there, swaying back and forth to the music that seems to be fading into the background.

This night has been so perfect, and we're not even done yet.

I'm so happy to have been able to come this close Kevin, and I never want to let go.