Captain America and Bucky Barnes Imagines

*58. STEVE: The 100 Year Old Virgin

"You seem nervous." I quickly tie the laces and then tap his knee to signal that I'm done. I stay seated on the ground while he gets up with a mumbled, "thanks". I decide to pester him some more. "Why do you look like you're going to a funeral or somethin'? You've got a constipated look on your face."

Steve frowns at me. He keeps this up for only a moment before remembering that he can't keep secrets from me. I'm his best friend, remember? I'm his confidant. He trusts me with more of himself than he trusts anyone else: even Bucky. Bucky's got a lot going on in his own world right now. So when Steve wants to talk to someone, he talks to me.

"I, well, I..." Steve runs his long fingers through the blond hair again.

"Well...?" I raise an eyebrow. I scoot back on the floor far enough to try to reach my bowl of trail mix that still sits on the corner of the couch. Steve notices my struggle and grabs it for me—passing it down without a word. I criss-cross my legs and wait patiently for what he's going to say. I crunch down on a peanut.

Steve suddenly bashes through that wall of insecurity to tell me everything. He flops back down onto the chair and starts rambling the whole story. "Hallie and I have been going out for a little while now. Like a month, right? That's a while, I guess. But it hasn't been an incredibly long time. And I don't know, I guess it's pretty casual. But she—well, she's getting impatient I guess. I'm trying not to make a big deal about it but it kinda is, ya know? I tried asking Bucky about it but he doesn't really think it's an issue and Sam—well, Sam thinks I should've slept with her the first night. But now Hallie's got this hotel room booked in the same resort that the gala is at and..."

"Wait, wait, wait!" I hurriedly stop him with outstretched hands. My eyes are wider than saucers. "You mean—holy shit, Steve—you mean... Oh my god: you are going to a funeral! Your stone-aged virginity is finally being buried!"

Steve grits his teeth. He pushes himself up to stand and stomp past me. "Ya know what, never mind. I shouldn't have said anything..."

Before he can pass I reach out to wrap my arms around his thick legs. I stop him by hugging onto his lower half like a clingy koala. "Stop! Steve stop, please, I'm sorry. It was a joke. I won't tease anymore, I'm sorry."

Steve tries to shake me off of him like a dog with a flea. But when he looks down at me, plenty ready to snap, he sees my puppy eyes and stops. He regards me for a moment before heaving a sigh. He ignores my apology, instead asking, "What should I do?"

I blink. I don't wanna loosen my arms from how they're laced around his thick, muscular legs. "Well..." I tap my forehead against his knee—causing him to chuckle lightly way up there. Finally I crank my neck back to look at him. "I think you should... do whatever you wanna do." I shrug. "If you wanna get it on with Hallie, go for it. You wouldn't even have to tell anyone. May as well let your first be with a supermodel." I force a smile to sprout on my lips. Finally I decide I should probably let go of poor Steve's legs. "Just don't let your expectations be too high. Not everyone has tits that perky."

My words make Steve blush profusely. I tend to have that effect on him with what I chose to say. "Um, okay."

"It's not that big of a deal though. Just do whatever you want." I grab my bowl of trail mix again to give myself something to do besides stare up at him.

Steve swallows. He grabs his keys from the table by the door. "I—I'm gonna go for it." He smiles and then nods, almost as if having an internal conversation with himself. "You're right—it's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah."

"It'll be fun. Right? It'll be fun?" He glances down at me in an unsure way.

I laugh lightly. "Yes, Steve. It'll be fun." I try not to think too much about him having that sort of fun tonight. I'd much rather have him safely at home on the couch having fun with me: playing Mario Kart, eating Doritos, or... or... literally anything.