Hushed Confessions | ✔

{24} Forgiveness

Sajdaa Taha

Walking down the pavement, I felt each step weigh more than the last, my shoulders heavy. School had been dreadful as always, and with my lack of concentration, I was even more annoyed than usual. The constant tests and quizzes kept me awake late at night along with all my other thoughts about the killer.

All those moments where he followed me, his hoodie covering everything, and that gun that pointed directly at Malik pierced me in ways I'd never known.

I sighed, continuing the long walk home. Life could be rough sometimes and I knew it first handedly, but for once, I wondered what it would be like to get away from all the stress and drama. For once, what would it feel like to be a normal teen that didn't have to fear for her life?

The killer had something personal against me. My death wouldn't be a simple gunshot like Mr. and Mrs. Hollen, no, my death would be a masterpiece in the killer's eyes, where death would be a blessing from torture. Saying I wasn't afraid was an understatement, but I had to be strong. Those lives of the people I'd known would not be in vain.

"Why so blue?" asked an amused voice.

I stopped, seeing the police car beside me. "Officer Nathan?"

"You mean the incredibly handsome Nathan, don't you?" he smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "No, I mean the plain and boring Nathan," I countered.

"That hurts."

"Good. It was suppose to."

"Someone needs to teach you a lesson in good manners," he frowned.

"Thanks for the offer, but I really don't care."

His blue eyes glimmered. "Need a ride?" he asked.

"Nope," I said as I continued walking away from his car.

"Sajdaa!" he yelled. "Wait up."

I heard the door to his car shut, the car beeping as he turned off his engine. I turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

Officer Nathan shrugged, "I'm a bit bored of my police duties."

"Why are you even a cop?"

"Cause I look incredibly sexy in the uniform," he grinned.

"I was being serious."

"So was I."

I face palmed. "Bye, Officer Nathan!" I shouted over my shoulder, walking away once again.

Officer Nathan jogged up beside me till he was by my side, leaving a good distance between the two of us. "I just thought you needed someone to talk to," he smiled. "You looked so sad. It didn't feel right to leave you like that."

I was flattered, but his words didn't make me feel the slight jolt of happiness like Malik's words did. Whenever Malik would comfort me in any way, I felt the jolt of intimacy between us. We didn't need to touch for me to feel electrified by his presence, completely stunned from the genuine care he'd show.

With Officer Nathan, it was different. There was no spark or tingling sensations. There was no extra beat in my heart. I was pleased to know he was one of the officers that cared about catching the killer and not accusing me of a crime, but that was all I felt towards him: respect.

For some reason, I felt pulled towards the blue-eyed officer, to confess the horror I internally faced. "I guess Jay's death took a toll on me," I mumbled.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Don't you hate Jay?" he questioned.

"Of course I do. It's just that he was the closest person to the killer. He knew who the killer was and before he could tell us, he died," I sighed. "And now we're back to square one."