his hand in mine

thin skinned- dancing in the rain

i took a deep breath of the fresh damp air as the rain began to drip down. i stood out on the back deck of our house, my navy blue eyes scanning the greying horizon and my damp black hair wisped around my face and fell in tangles down my back. my white sundress was begining to become see through and i was thankful i was alone. i walked off the deck and down to the dock and the shore and the rain fell, soaking me through and through. a tear dripped down my cheek and thankful i was alone, i let them flow as i sat down on the end of the dock with an angry half-screaming moan. it'd been several years sense my brother passed away, but he still haunted me in nightmares. the most recent nightmares were of his perfect offers of peace, away from my parents childish arguing, and away from the teasing of the horrid school childeren, all i had to do to spend enternity in peace, or so he said, was take my life as he had done. i was not willing to do this, i knew it wasnt him i was seeing, but the pleasing form i knew the devil and the deamons in my head tempted me with, and i knew what suicide did to the people left behind, i felt first hand the pains and temptations. i let out another muffled scream and kicked my feet in anger, only to kick off one of my little white sandals out of reach into the water and watch it sink to the bottom of the lake. i groaned and stood up pulling off my other sandal, flung it into the water as far as i could. looking down at my bare feet, the only rough looking part of me from hours of ballet, i noticed my white sundress was completly soaked and now see through to my lacy whiteish silver underwear. i just shrugged to myself and reached back to ring out my hair and didnt let my hands drop back to my sides, but insted shaped myself as if i were dancing with a partner and began waltzing around the dock. i day dreamed and hummed to myself, and the daydreams felt more and more realistic, i felt almost as if i were dancing with someone insted of on my own. i stoped as tears streamed down my eyes again and opened my eyes when somthing hit my foot "oww!!! oh..." my protesting was cut short when i opened my eyes and realized i wasnt alone, suddenly self contious of my thin white dress. "what are you doing here?" i turned to the side, facing away from my prince. "i... um.... i was in the neighborhood and-" i sighed "dad called you didnt he?" i realized now he must have heard my moans. he nodded slightly and i glanced over at him. he wore his dress pants and his white collared shirt and suit jacket were draped over the railing on the dock behind him, his black tie still haning loosley around his neck. "um, you look uncomfortable... here." he reached back and grabbed his jacket and put it around my sholders, it hung just below the end of my dripping wet sundress and i was thankful. "no, here, i dont want to mess it up.." i took off the jacket and handed it back to him, thinking to myself "why the heck did i do that???" he didnt argue, and tossed it back onto the railing where his shirt hung.