Tainted [Watty Awards 2012]

Chapter 4: Dream

Chapter 4: Dream

The darkness suffocated me, filling my lungs with nothing, and blocking my throat. I tried screaming, but I was mute, and I could see myself thrashing about in a black void, scared of what’s to come.

A light appeared somewhere close by, so bright it was blinding. From it, I saw dark blonde hair emerge, followed by a pale face with blue eyes. He, Aeon, was here to save me.

But, something was wrong. His hair seemed too dark, and his skin slightly tanner. His eyes were duller, and darker. His face changed before my eyes. His skin darkened, like there was a little bar you could control his skin colour with. His eyes were now a frightening black, and his hair was now much darker.

I opened my mouth to scream, and started thrashing about wildly, trying to put enough space between me and this monster.

“Help ME!” I managed to spit out, even though an unseen force was blocking my mouth.

In front of me, a dark mist started surrounding Brendon. I saw his mouth move, speaking unheard words to me. But, eventually, his words started getting louder, as if I was increasing the volume on my television.

“Wake up, Evan!! Wake. Up!!” the shouts were directed at me, and I felt a harsh shaking, a small earthquake.  I was released from the invisible bonds which held me and started falling, and I landed on my bed with an imagined thump and a piercing scream.

“Are you okay? Answer me, are you alright?” Aeon started questioning me once I quietened down. “What happened?”

I stared blankly at him, replaying the nightmare over and over again in my mind. “Nothing, it was just a dream.”

“Yeah right,” he scoffed with an incredulous tone, “and I’m a bloody leprechaun. So not true, so spill.”

I shook my head, unconsciously leaning on his shoulder. We were sat on my bed and he had one arm around my waist and the other was at my shoulder, pulling me into a hug. I complied, somehow forgetting everything, just crying and emptying my mind for a while.

I fell into a dreamless, empty sleep. For a couple of hours, I didn’t know anything; my name, my age, what happened... Nothing.

But, too soon, I woke up to live another day. Aeon was asleep next to me, but I didn’t recognise he was Aeon, I just saw him as another man. Another man who took advantage of me, again, and not someone I could trust subconsciously. It was just for a second, I was still too disoriented, but I screamed and jumped off the bed, throwing myself against the wall.

“Evan, please, stop! It’s just me, Aeon. You know I’d never hurt you, please.” I heard him beg, and my body listened to him. My mouth shut and my arms reached for him. He obliged and hugged me, but my mind was screaming in fear. My mind told me to run away, to hide from everything and just die. But my body told me to stay with him, to trust him and to not be scared of him.

“Please,” I croaked out, as my mind won this particular battle, “just, step away. I- I- I can’t, just go.” I pushed him away, albeit strangely reluctantly. He stumbled and stood up abruptly. His face darkened and his sad smile morphed into a scowl.

“Fine then, I’ll go. I apologise for consoling you,” he snapped at me, suddenly angry. He was out of the door and slamming it in a second. It was all it took to break me down, and tears suddenly consumed me.

I was so weak and pathetic; I let anything get to me. Maybe, if I wasn’t so weak, I could’ve stopped Brendan. I could’ve fought him off. If I wasn’t so pathetic, he wouldn’t have had to teach me a lesson countless times, one I needed to have learnt from the beginning. But no, I talked back at him when I could, and, because of me, I’m now lower than ever before.

I’m homeless, and I have no family and no friends. Aeon hates me, so there’s no metaphorical (or literal) ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.  I’m so screwed, it wasn’t funny at all. I’m not broken, I’m shattered. I can’t be helped. You can fix a vase with a broken handle, but you can’t fix a glass swan shattered in hundreds of tiny pieces. It’s impossible.

This was stupid. I let myself get somewhat close to Aeon, and now, he hurt me. I made him angry, because that’s all I can do, but he hurt me. If I just kept my cold indifferent mask up with him, I’d be better now. But now, now that I’ve felt someone hug me without feeling completely scared and disgusted, I can’t go back.

It’s too late. I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling, sighing, until a faintly familiar voice startled me; “It’s never too late.”

Without bothering to look up to see who it was, I answered with an empty voice and hopeless sigh. “When the last ticket to happiness is sold in front of you, and you stand there, your pennies on the floor, too poor and too pathetic to be happy; that’s when it’s too late.”

“Hope is nothing more than a state of mind, as is happiness. You feel hope when you want to, and you feel happy when you want to. If you live your life in the dark, gloomy shadows of hate and despair, you’ll never prosper.”

“Huh, but some are too far in the darkness to find their way out. With no light, with no knowledge of where you are, how can you escape the black?”

“You can only wait, and smile. Smile, Evangeline, because tomorrow is a new day. Smile because tomorrow is a new start.”

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Who is this 'faintly familiar' person? And how do they know 'Evan's' real name?

Short, but I hope, sweet? A bit, okay very, pessimistic, but it's how it's meant to be.

All the 'quotes' in the last 4 paragraphs are ALL mine, okay?

I'll update soon, with a longer chapter.

Sneak peek:

"If you really loved me, you would've taken me with you. Not left me there, to live in hell."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I couldn't have taken you."

"Why not?! Tell me! What great reason do you have for handing me this fucking life in a dirty silver platter, mother?!"

"Your sister."