The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 27

After what felt like several hours of walking down numerous twisting and turning passageways, Fabian heard a door slam behind him and then he was pushed down to his knees. The sack was whipped off his head and he found himself in a small, dimly lit room. The man with the braided beard who had captured him stood right behind him and there were three men standing directly in front of him. The two larger ones, Fabian recognized as the thugs who had assaulted him earlier in Amber's room. The one known as Skrimm stroked his iron bar as he stared at Fabian with a smile. The third man was a dainty fellow with curly brown hair and fine features. He wore long silk robes and had bejeweled rings on each of his fingers. He looked like a pretty boy wimp to Fabian.

"Greetings," the small man said as he stepped forward. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kasey and this is my town. I don't mean it's mine because I live here. It's mine because I own this town lock, stock, and barrel. I own every law enforcement officer. I own every politician. I own every civic leader. In short, I am this town. Now, it pleases me to allow certain unlawful activities to take place in my town, mostly because they prove to be personally profitable and enriching for me. But I decide what happens and who enacts my schemes. You see, when you come into my town and you steal something without my permission, you're stealing from me personally. The first time it happened, I decided to be nice. I figured you were a stranger here and you didn't know any better. I thought it quite kind-hearted of me to let you off with a warning. But then you came back and you stole again. Now I'm afraid I will be unable to show you any mercy. Skrimm, would you be so kind as to show our friend here what happens to people who steal from me?"

Skrimm let out a deep chuckle and stepped forward. He spit on the ground and then kicked Fabian in the face. Fabian flopped backwards onto the floor behind him as he let out an involuntary cry of pain. He could feel blood trickling out of his nose as the man with the braided beard propped him back onto his knees.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kasey asked as he leaned down and looked Fabian right in the eyes.

"Yes, would you mind cutting my hands free? My wrists are getting a little cramped."

Kasey let out a high-pitched giggle. "Do you think to fight us? Is that your plan?"

"Obviously not," Fabian said. "There are four of you and only one of me. I'm pretty sure you're already planning on killing me and there's not much I'm going to be able to do about that whether my hands are free or not. It's just really not very comfortable, and if you don't mind, I'd like to spend my last few minutes of life feeling halfway decent. Also, I'd really like to wipe my nose. Unless you want to wipe it for me?"

"Very well," Kasey said as he nodded at the man with the braided beard. "You may release him. It's true, you wouldn't stand a prayer if you were to try anything foolish. We can afford to be civil here."

"That's much better," Fabian said as he rubbed his wrists. "Now anyway, I know you want to punish me, but I really think I could be of a lot more use to you alive. I'm a highly skilled thief and I could do some really fantastic work for you. I bet I could increase your profits, like, a hundred times."

"Silence!" Kasey said as he raised up two fingers. "I will decide what your fate shall be. I've got to be honest, I'm leaning towards death. Not because I don't think you could be useful, but because I find you annoying. You irritate me. Your stupid voice and your stupid looking face irritate me. Perhaps I would find it amusing to cut your face off."

"First off that's just gross," Fabian said. "Also messy. Faces don't come off in one clean slice like you might think. Instead bits and pieces tear and flake off and you just end up with an unrecognizable pile of skin. I should know, I tried it once on an orc I killed. It ended up ruining one of my favorite shirts."

"I said silence!" Kasey screamed at the top of his voice. His face turned bright red and a vein bulged in his forehead as spittle flew out of his mouth and splattered Fabian's face. Kasey took a deep breath and recomposed himself. "Now, we shall begin by taking back what is rightfully ours. Empty his pockets!"

Skrimm grabbed Fabian's arms tightly while the other two men began rifling through his belongings.

"What the hell is this?" one of the thugs said as he opened up the bag containing the pirate captain's head.

"That's just a little prize I collected out on the road," Fabian said.

"You're a sick little man, aren't you?" Kasey said with a shake of his head. "What else has he got?"

"A little bit of gold, a dagger, a pipe, and some pouches filled with herbs."

"Hey careful with that strong smelling stuff. That's the good shit. I was saving it for myself for later."

"Oh you were, were you?" Kasey said as he grabbed Fabian's pipe and began stuffing it with the potent smelling herbs he had stolen from the kobold's stand. "Well, maybe I'll just have to try it out myself." He lit the pipe and inhaled a big puff. A sulfurous smell filled the room accompanied by a sizzling noise. "What the heck is this stuff anyway?" Kasey asked with a confused expression on his face. Then he exploded.