The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 26

"So you got a name or what?" Fabian asked the dryad. "If you're going to be hanging around all the time, I may as well know what to call you."

"I was once called Druvidia by those who worshipped me," the dryad replied. "That will do nicely."

"What, some suckers thought you were some kind of tree goddess or something?" Fabian snickered. "What a bunch of maroons."

"Their civilization enjoyed centuries of prosperity. By the way, how many worshippers have you had in your tiny little life?"

"Can I help it if I'm underappreciated?" Fabian asked. "Genius is often misunderstood in its own time. I'm not worried about it. Now make yourself inconspicuous. We're almost to the city gates and I don't need a bunch of people staring at a tree ghost drawing undue attention to me. I prefer a certain measure of 'clandestine' where my operations are concerned."

"If I do not wish to be seen, I shall not be seen," Druvidia said. "It is one of the advantages of being incorporeal."

They passed through the city gates unchallenged once again by the sentry.

"Can I interest you in some herbs?" a familiar voice called out from a stand near the city entrance.

Fabian turned and recognized the kobold who had cheated him earlier. "You."

"Uh oh," the kobold said and started to pack up his stand.

"Wait a minute, I'm not angry about what happened before. An honest scam is just business. I can appreciate that. But I happen to be in possession of some herbs that might be of interest to you. I found some rare and highly potent, not to mention highly valuable, dreamweed. I can personally guarantee it's the real deal, unlike that garbage you sold me. I'd be willing to let it go for, oh, let's say one hundred gold shillings."

"I'm just a poor kobold. I've got a wife who looks like me and ninety-two squealing little babies that all need to be fed. I couldn't possibly afford to pay you more than thirty shillings."

"Well, I guess I'm going to just have to find some other kobold to do business with. But I've got to warn you they're going to put you out of business once word gets out on the street about what high quality herb they have."

"Wait, mister," the kobold said. "How do I know you speak the truth? You have the look of a crook about you."

"I suppose I could allow you to smell a small sample," Fabian said as he pulled out the pouch of dreamweed.

The kobold took a big whiff of the pouch and then drooled unconsciously. "That's the real deal all right. Look, I'll give you fifty gold shillings. It's the best I can do."

"You'll give me the full one hundred or you'll get nothing," Fabian said.

"Seventy-five?"

"Oh look at that, my price just went up to one hundred and ten."

"Fine, fine, I'll give you one hundred like you asked for."

"I believe I asked for one hundred and ten," Fabian said.

"This is highway robbery," the kobold grumbled as it counted out the money.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Fabian said. He then walked back out through the city gate and tapped the sentry on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sir. There's an impertinent little kobold on the other side of this wall. I think you'll find he's in possession of a sizable quantity of illegal substances. I'm just a concerned visitor to your town whose sense of moral right and wrong have been positively shaken by the depravity on display in your city streets."

"Oh, well that's not good," the guard said. "I guess I'd better arrest this guy."

"Yes, you'd better," Fabian said. "I feel like I'm already questioning my long-held puritanical values. My whole worldview is danger of being shattered."

The guard put down the donut he was munching on and waddled through the city gates. Fabian waited a few moments until the kobold's attention was distracted from arguing with the guard who was holding the pouch of dreamweed he had just sold. Then he tiptoed behind the stand and stole the remainder of the kobold's money. He found some interesting pouches of herbs that might be valuable, or at the very least might get him inebriated. One of the pouches smelled especially potent, and he made a mental note to try smoking some of it later. After that he meandered behind the guard and picked his pocket as well.

"You still got it, Fabes," he said to himself with a smile and walked on down the street.

"What was that all about?" Druvidia whispered in his ears.

He jumped unconsciously in surprise. "What are you doing? Hovering around invisibly? Cut that out!"

"I was just wondering why you were wasting time on that poor kobold. I thought you were here to collect the reward for the pirate captain's head and then you were going to go back and help look for the cat."

"Well first of all that guy totally had it coming. Really I did a good deed. I stopped other innocent souls who want nothing more than to get blitzed on illegal and possibly dangerous drugs from being bilked by a conman. And I am going to collect that reward and then find that flea-ridden feline. I can multi-task, you know."

"Very well, where is this place where you expect to receive payment?"

"Uh, it's on the other side of town somewhere. Last time I got a ride. Aw man, where's Scrote with his cart when you need him?"

"He's out in the forest focusing on the primary mission."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll just ask somebody for directions." He stopped a man with a long braided mustache who was walking past. "Hey buddy. Do you know how to get to the adventurer's guild from here?"

The man stopped and eyed him up and down. "Sure, it's really easy. Just head down that dark alleyway right behind you. You can't miss it."

"Thanks, pal," Fabian said as he made his way down the alley. Before too long it stopped in a dead end. "What the hell?" He turned around and saw the man with the mustache holding a dagger.

"Apparently you didn't get the message last time," the man snarled.

"What message?" Fabian asked.

"You're not authorized to do any thieving in this town."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I saw you rob the kobold stand and then pick the guard's pocket."

"How the hell do you know about that?"

"Kasey has eyes everywhere. Now you need to be punished."

"It was just a little petty larceny. It's no big deal."

"Nonetheless you were warned and you chose to disobey. That makes Kasey very unhappy."

"Look, I don't know who this Kasey guy thinks he is, but you can't stop a guy from making an honest living stealing from people. It's not right."

"Kasey is the guy in charge of all criminal activity in this town. Nothing happens without his say so. Now put this sack over your head." The man held out a small bag made out of black cloth.

"I don't want to put that sack over my head," Fabian whined. "It looks like it would be hard to breathe."

The man slapped Fabian across the face with the back of his hand. "Put the sack on your head now!"

"All right, all right," Fabian grumbled as he pulled the sack over his head. "Hey Druvidia, you want to pitch in a little help here or what?"

He was greeted by silence as he felt his hands getting tied behind him with rope.

"Now what?" Fabian asked.

"Start walking," the man said.