You Look Like an Angel

Chapter 7: You're not the way you seem

Sam didn't know how long he had been walking. The Cage seemed to stretch for miles. The landscape was empty, nothing but the dirt underfoot and a giant, black abyss above. He could have been walking for hours and not known it (did time govern here, really?). And there was no sign of Lucifer.

Sam gazed around the empty scenery. Where could Lucifer have gone? There was nowhere to hide out here –but then again Lucifer was an angel, so perhaps he didn't need a hiding place in order to conceal himself.

Sam took a deep breath as he glanced around the Cage again. His voice felt thin and raspy when he spoke.

"Lucifer?" he whispered.

"Yes, Sam?"

Sam jerked around, "Ack!" Lucifer was standing directly behind him, "Don't scare me like that!"

Lucifer placed his hands in his pockets, blue eyes studying Sam. A moment of silence passed between them.

"You called." Lucifer finally said.

"Yeah." Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

Lucifer continued to gaze up at him, waiting for Sam to speak.

"Uh..." Sam cleared his throat, "I just came back from talking to Michael. He uh, didn't seem to think you were the one torturing me..."

"No, Sam, I wasn't." Lucifer replied.

"Then who?" Sam exclaimed, "If not you then who?!"

"There's another entity here," Lucifer explained, "He's been here a long time. As long as I have, if not longer. His job is to punish me. He disguised himself as me and tortured you. I'm so sorry, Sam."

Sam shook his head in disbelief, "There it is again." He said, "Punishing you. But if this is about your punishment, then why in the hell did he go after me?! How does hurting me punish you?"

Lucifer's mouth opened, then shut again, "I'm not sure." He said finally.

Sam raised his eyebrows, "You're not sure?"

Lucifer shook his head, "I can guess, Sam, but I don't know anything for certain. Not anymore..."

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Fine. Take a guess then."

"Well, like I told you before, you and I are two halves made whole. So, it's possible that the Cage views you as part of me, and therefore something it should punish..."

Sam gulped, "I am not you." He said.

"I know." Lucifer said, "You proved that in the graveyard. But the Cage doesn't see it that way. It sees...everything about me. How much I wanted you. How...alone, I felt. Cut off from my father, my brothers, my sisters, all of God's creation. I don't think you can imagine it, years and years of nothing, not even darkness. Just an endless abyss. No sight, no sound, no smell, no touch, no taste. Like being dead, but without an afterlife." Lucifer's gaze flickered to Sam, "When God had Michael cast me out I lost everything. Everything except for you. You were my only hope. The one thing I had left. My True Vessel."

"Yeah, but that's all over now." Sam said, "You don't need me to be your meat suit down here."

"You were never my 'meat suit', Sam." Lucifer said.

Sam suddenly felt uncomfortable, the kind of uncomfortable he had felt when he spoke to Lucifer on Earth. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Lucifer sighed, "You and Dean. You both have this... conception, that the only reason I would want you is so I could use you. That you were just a body I could operate in while roamed the earth and carried out my 'evil' plans..." Lucifer scoffed and shook his head, "But if that was true why didn't I torture you into saying 'yes'? I could have. I could have tortured your brother, Dean. I could have killed him if I wanted. Could have threatened everyone you love. I could have made living impossible for you until you bended to my will. But I didn't. Why didn't I do that, Sam?"

"Dunno." Sam said, "Maybe because you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar?"

Lucifer smiled, "I'm glad you appreciate the value of flattery, but no. No, Sam, the truth was I knew you'd come to me on your own. I didn't have to hurt you to make that happen. I didn't have to charm you, either. All I had to do was be honest. Because you were never my meat suit. You were always my partner. My companion for all eternity. I didn't want to rule over you, I wanted to rule with you. Being my Vessel was just...a necessary evil. It was the only way I could be free."

Lucifer sighed, "I think the Cage senses that. How you are more to me than just my Vessel. And he's using that to hurt me. By hurting you. I'm so sorry, Sam. I never wanted this for you. I wanted you to be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"But aren't you angry?" Sam asked, "I mean, I still betrayed you. I overpowered you and pulled us down here. I ruined all your plans for revenge. I basically put you back in prison."

Lucifer smiled sadly and shook his head, "I can't be angry with you, kiddo." he said, "You're too much like me."

Sam's head snapped up and he finally met Lucifer's eyes, "I am nothing like you." He bit out.

"But you are. We are two parallels you and I. Both cast out by our fathers. Both at odds with the life we were given. Both willing to fight our destinies even to the point of defying the will of God..."

"Stop it." Sam said.

"Besides, we had a deal, right? If you could win the struggle for control inside your head I'd let you jump in the hole and bring me with you. And you won, kiddo. You won. Not that I ever wanted this for you, but you won, fair and square... you truly are my equal."

Sam shuffled his feet and avoided Lucifer's eyes, "So what happens now?" he asked.

Lucifer shrugged, "Beats me, kiddo."

"That thing...do you think it'll –"

"No." Lucifer said. His voice had deepened dangerously, "No, I won't let it."

Sam realized his left hand was shaking. He clenched his fist and commanded it to be still.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight." Lucifer continued, "Believe me, Sam, if I had known this would happen – if I had known what the Cage would do to you, I never would have let Michael distract me. I wouldn't have let us be separated."

"Where did you go?" Sam asked quietly.

"I was there, kiddo." The sadness in Lucifer's voice was enough to make Sam glance up at him, "He chained me up and made me watch. I'm so sorry."

"How did you get out?" Sam asked.

Lucifer pressed his lips together, "Again, I'm not sure. I was angry, very angry. I think Castiel is to blame for it, though. When someone new enters, the Cage has to reorient itself. I think Castiel's presence distracted it enough for me to get free."

"The explosion." Sam said suddenly, "That was you, wasn't it?"

Lucifer nodded, "That was me. All that pent up power just ... came out at once."

"And you got free." Sam said.

"Yes."

Sam sighed and sat on the ground. He found himself unsurprised when the archangel joined him.

"It's a lot to take in." Lucifer said.

"Yeah." Sam agreed. He turned his gaze to the ground and rubbed some dirt between his thumb and forefinger. It had an orange tint to it. Probably infused with iron.

"Take as long as you need." Lucifer said, "I'll wait for you."