Solby One Shots

Smile

T/W: implied self harm, suicide thoughts, major depression, suicide, VERY LONG

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    "Coooooolby?" A voice rang out, bringing me to the harsh reality of the waking world.

    I let a small groan escape my lips and into the pillow, too tired to care.

    "Dude, it's like 1pm!" Corey poked his head in, camera underneath, filming everything. "I thought you'd be awake."

    "I'm tired." I mumbled into my pillow, the fabric muffling my words to the point that they were almost completely lost.

    "Come vloooog." Corey whined, resembling a three year old child on the verge of throwing a fit.

    I let out a sigh that was cut short when something warm and heavy push into my back. Turning my head just slightly, I caught a glimpse of him draped over my back, his ribs digging into my back ever so slightly.

    "What do I have to do?" I finally groaned in defeat. If I didn't just give in this could go on for hours... then again, if it did, I'd at least be in the comfort of my bed.

    "Brennen's here and he wanted to do that milkshake-challenge-thing."

    "The... the what?" I rubbed my eyes. God, I went to sleep at six pm yesterday, how the fuck am I still tired after, like, nineteen hours?

    "You know, where you put a ton of random shit into a blender and drink." Corey shrugged, like the thought of drinking something that could possibly take ten years off your life was no big deal. I, on the other hand, felt my stomach flip in distaste, causing bile to rise in my throat. "Come on, please?"

    I let out another sigh. "Yeah, yeah. But you need to get off first."

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    Side note: raw eggs, a tablespoon of pepper, vanilla essence, Aaron's chilly sauce and cream is an amazing recipe if you want the end result to be you vomiting into the kitchen sink.

    Brennen and Corey however got the least of the worst (ice cream, salt, jelly mixture and whatnot).

    They laughed and both filmed me heave the contents of my stomach into the sink, the pain in my throat caused tears to burn the back of my eyes.

    Little after I finished spewing, Brennen left. But not without thanking me for the good content and awesome clickbait opportunity.

    The words seemed to ring in my head on a never ending loop. Good content was all I felt I was used for now.

    I gave them both a small smile, of which stretched over my lips in a painfully fake way, before excusing myself and rushing upstairs. My mouth was still filled with the disgusting taste of vomit, so I hurried into the bathroom and brushed my teeth.

    As soon as I finished, I rested my hands on the counter and stared at my reflection.

    What looked back at me wasn't who I felt. Or maybe it was? I'm not to sure anymore.

    Emotionless blue eyes looked back at me, my face a strange pale colour compared to what it normally was and my hair had that I-haven't-washed-it-in-a-week look.

    I guess a shower could clear my mind. I honestly couldn't be bothered but I really did need one, so with a string of swears being muttered under my breath I got undressed and jumped into the shower.

    The second the warm water hit my skin, a small weight was lifted from my chest and I just let my mind wonder.

    I'd been feeling awful for the past eight months, like I was being dragged down. My mind and body were constantly tired, no matter how much sleep I got, my mind seemed to always be shaded from any light hearted thinking.