Solby One Shots

Not Feminine

T/W: slight gender dysphoria, bullying, low key transphobia (little bit of angst, yay)

AU: trans Colby (completely fictional but idk I kinda love this prompt)

(Also I have a bandaid over my thumb so it's really hard to write to please ignore small auto correct mistakes)

---Colby's pov---

It was just another stupid bit for Corey's vlog, just something fun for us and the viewers. Yet it didn't exactly end up that way. Just messing around in the pool wasn't supposed to reveal so much drama.

I was always nervous whenever I had to take off my shirt around everyone. The scars from my top surgery were always there, the slightly pink scar tissue wasn't the problem, over the couple of years it became almost unnoticeable. However, my slightly feminine curves were. A shirt or jumper easily covered them up, but without them it always seemed painfully obvious that I'd been born female, even if the others didn't notice.

Of course I was proud of who I was, it's just that I hadn't yet come out to anyone except Sam. During high school the bullies had been awful but Sam had always been there to help.

"Colby, you ok?" Devyn asked, pulling me back to reality.

"Huh?" I quickly put on a smile. "Yeah I'm fine, just zoned out."

She nodded and continued to film Sam and Elton attempt to throw Corey into the cold pool, giggling as her boyfriend screamed curses at them through laughs.

"COLBY COME AND HELP YOUR OTHER HALF!" Elton yelled, all of them so close to pushing Corey in, but Corey was fighting with everything he had to stop it.

"No!" Corey shrieked, his heels almost going over the sides. "Help me! Colby Brock help your aunt!"

Quickly I emptied my pockets of my phone and wallet before pulling off my shirt and quickly running over to them, almost bursting out laughing at the sight of the three. I was prepared to possibly be thrown into the water as well, but was hopping to avoid that.

I made my way over as fast as I could, Sam grinning at me quickly before going back to his attempt to shove Corey into the -now that I think about it- most likely freezing pool.

The second I was close enough I managed to wedge my hands between Sam and Elton's shoulders and shoved as hard as I could on Corey's chest. It was the final push that sent him into the pool, and I watched gleefully watched as he rose to the surface, spluttering and shivering.

I burst out in hysterical laughter, watching as Corey glared jokingly.

"It's freaking cold!" He shouted up, but continued to float in the water, making no move to leave it which was confusing. "God dammit Colby, how the heck did you and that girly waist defeat me?"

He was being over dramatic and joking around, but it made the smile drop from my face and thoughts to flood through my mind.

When he caught a glimpse of my face he continued, possibly thinking I was acting and it'd be a good bit for the vlog.

"Geez Elton, you had to get Princess Colby to help you out!" He laughed, Elton rolled his eyes and started trying to hit Corey with a pool noodle. "I mean, i underst- ow! Understand that Sam would needed help from his girlfriend to defeat me but - OW! UNCLE ELTON! NO!"

My chest started to tighten, I felt so weak. Normally I could shake off unintentional insults thrown at me, but today everything seemed to affect me so much more. I prøbably shøuld have stayed inside my høuse, knowing that I was having such a bad mental health day.

I knew I should have, but I was stupid enough to think I'd be ok.

I barely noticed Elton jump into the pool to smack Corey. Instead I hugged my arms to my chest tightly and tried to get myself under control.

"Elton, you keep missing! Maybe you need Princess Colleen to help you?" He called on a song song matter, but the sound of my birth name caused a painful stab at my mind.

"Ok Corey, you should stop." Sam called, noticing my distress.

"Stop standing up for your girlfriend and help me!" Elton yelled jokingly as he got a good hit on the top of Corey's head.

My mind just wanted to die, I hadn't been referred to as a female since the bullies in school and it hurt.

"Ow! No fair, you have a weapon!"

"Get one then." Elton hit him again on the back, the noise and yelled made me feel overly dizzy and I couldn't move.

"Colleen, can you grab me a water gun?" Corey called, ducking away from another attack of the pink pool toy.

Something inside me seemed to disappear, tears flooded behind my eyelids and my throat ached when I tried to hold them back. Taking a slow breath, I tried to keep myself together and hurried away. I sure as hell wasn't ready to come out to them, and if they saw how much this affected me they'd find out quickly.

Trying not to sprint, I left, only grabbing my shirt from where I'd left it but not bothering with anything else. I just needed to get out of there.

"Colby, wait." Sam called and hurried after me but I just sprinted, almost tripping over my feet as I went out the front door and just kept running. I didn't get into my car, didn't grab any keys, I just ran. If I stopped for anything else he'd ask if I was ok and fifty other questions and I just needed to be alone.

Tears rolled down my cheeks the second I was off the property and I didn't bother wipe them off.

"What the fuck, you're some sort of freak!" One of the bullies, Jai, sneered.

"Yeah, Colleen, go back to the girl's team where you belong." Another boy looked me over as if I were a bug that he was deciding what to squish me with.

My legs felt like jelly as I kept sprinting, my lungs screaming at me to stop but I had to keep going. If Sam even bothered to go after me, he'd find me easily on the side of the road. Thinking fast I turned quickly into a path that lead between some of the houses and pushed on.

"Come on out, princess." Lacey called out darkly. I clamped a hand over my mouth to make sure she wouldn't hear me. I could feel bruises from her on my stomach forming already and my body shook in fear. "Come on, Colleen! I just want to welcome you to the school and introduce you to the other girls."

Bile rose in my throat at the memory of that night. Phantom pains started to surface at the very memory of it. I remember the pain when she found me, the searing pain that caused me to black out and wasn't any better when I woke up.

I was in hospital for the night after that, had to get ten stitches and had severely bruised ribs. Yet Lacey's family had paid their way out of getting in any sort of trouble.

There wasn't any way I could have run forever. After running for what felt hours and pushing past the pain, my legs tripped over each other and I tumbled to the ground, scratching up my hands as I tried to soften the blow.

Wiping tears from my cheeks I curled up in a ball under a tree. Looking around through blurry vision I realised I had collapsed at a park. There weren't any kids around, thankfully.

Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to get my breathing under control. It didn't work at all, so I curled up into a ball and just sobbed.

I hated this, I hated the fact that Corey and Elton were probably figuring out what their harmless jokes lent to me. I hated that they'd affected me so much. I hated that I was who I was. Why couldn't I just be born male?

Why the fuck did the universe think it'd be a good idea to make me born a girl?

Why was they world such a prick?

Why? Why why why?!

Pressing the palms of the hands into my eyes, I tried to stop the endless tears.

Why wouldn't they stop?

Maybe part two?

Idk but I'm not too happy with how this one turned out... but I've had the idea stuck in my head for ages.