The possibility of us

Chapter 36

What's this that got me so shaken. Everybody is so kind and concern I feel like I don't deserve them. Maybe because I still blame myself for tatay Gary's death. And when I came home so late when mother thought I was lost or kidnapped, she broke down. Her heart couldn't take it and she died.

Si dad, I know he's trying to fix everything in my life aside that he is my father, he promised my mother that he will take care of me. The only girl in their children.

Sometimes I ask God why these things happen to me? And then I can see Zach is moving forward, never holding any grudge at anyone for his father's death. Still smiling, still aiming for the stars. I adore Zach, but I also envy him, for having a heart like a saint.

When Zach left town, I felt empty. Yung nag-iisang taong umiintindi sa akin umalis na. I wanted to make him stay, but I know I'll break him even more. So I let him go. Isn't it something you should do for the ones you love? You let them soar.

Gustongkong ayusin ang buhay ko, but it took me so much time. Not having Zach around I indulged myself in alcohol that made my dad even more furious.

"Walanasi Zach and yet you are still here. Trying to ruin your life"

"Dad, can you just let me be? I'm trying please believe me, I'm trying so hard to please you and everyone else"

Antonio sat down beside Zhaira and held her hands.

"Iha, that's the thing right there. I'm not asking you to please me or everyone else. I'm just asking you to live"

"What kind of living dad? Kahit ako, hirap nang intindihin ang sarili ko. I'm so tire dad"

"Don't give up just now. Lives has been wasted to let you live yours"

I know dad's concern. Pero hindi niya parin ako maintindihan. He seems to having a hard time finding the right words to encourage me. But I took his advice. I have to get up and fight my own battles for me. Mom, tatay Gary, whose lives were taken for me to realize the worth of my own life. And Zach, sacrificing his own for me to live is something that devastated me most.

It took time for me. In and out of college at papalit-palitng course. I convinced dad that I'll be able to finish my business course. Having Raul, a young entrepreneur in my life had put my dad's doubts to end. He thinks that I am now planning my future instead of destroying it. At least for a while.

I missed Zach. There was never a day that I am not thinking of him and wonder if he's thinking of me too. The last time we spoke, he said he wanted to forget everything about me. It hurts more than I expected. But I guess saying yes to Peter is an indication that this will happen. That Zach has to leave, it's only a matter of time.