The possibility of us

Chapter 33

Ang hirap. Ang hirap pakawalan ang taong pinangarap mo simulat sapul. Ang hirap tanggapin na hanggang pangarap nalang lahat yon at kailangan nang kalimutan. I've always believed that Zhaira and I have a future together. I know how confused, she was that time. It's understandable. Losing her dearest mother and blaming herself for it makes her that way. Unsteady. She loved to live in the past where she can imagine her being with her mom, kaya hindi niya napapansin ang present. Minsan napapabayaan niya na. That's why I do things for her, lahat ng request niyasinusunodko to make her feel that her present is as precious as her memories of her mother.

I love being with her. Her voice, her laugh makes me feel alive and wanted. She brings me so much hope even to her most unwanted state. She neglects my vague adoration of her even though she's deserving of them.

"Nak. You study so hard wag mo naman kalimutangmagsaya. You're just 17"

"Tay, tulad ng sabi mo wag sayangin ang oras sa mga hindi namang imporanteng bagay"

"Hindi ba importante si Zhaira?'

"Tay, naman"

"Ako tatay mo eh" "Ang sakin lang, oo matalino ka at masipag pero hindo mo kailangan magpakahirap para lang bumagay kay Zhaira. Tanggap ka niya kung ano ka at sino ka"

"Tay naman, parang mag-aasawa naman ako niyan"

"Sus. Kahit hindi niyo aminin, kitang kita naman na may pagtingin kayo sa isat-isa kahit parang asot pusa kayo pag magkasama"

My father was right. I did not have to do so much to fit in. But I want to kahit Don Antonio trusts me, I want to be more for her. Sasobrang focus ko sa kanya, I tend to forget my own worth. Maybe because I wanted to prove hers.

When my father was fighting for his life, I remembered him saying "It's no ones fault" I took it to heart that's why I did not blame anyone. Even if in the deepest of my darkest hours I wanted to ask Zhaira why. But I know it wouldn't change a thing, hindina maibabalik ang buhay nitatay.

Don Antonio was kind enough to offer me for some help. He enrolled me in a different school. I always thought he wanted me to stay away from Zhaira, and that motivated me even more to prove my intentions for her. That I have to regain his trust of me.

Zhaira tried to reach out, I see that and I will not deny that she really can melt my heart in an instant. She blames herself for everything, putting up a brave face every time she visits nanang.

While she was thriving in her world, I was struggling to move on and show her that life is changing so fast that we must cope up. I was trying to fix everything for us while waiting for her to figure her own life. But every time I try to fix everything, she do things that separate us even more. And it's gotten worse. Nanang and I have to leave Baguio to start over and it has been the most painful day of my life since then. Deciding to leave everything behind and forget everything I had known about her.