How does our past affect our future? How do heart aches, heartbreaks makes someone whole in their present? How do you save someone from the world while you are battling with your own demons? Can we love someone even if it's tearing us apart? What d...
I knew from the day i saw her, I will forever be crazy for this girl. That no matter how hard life takes me away from her, I always go back. She might not know it, but I've always dreamed of her becoming my wife one day. Someday when I'm able. A boy can dream, but a true man should act to achieve that dream.
Her mother's death is the shadow of her brokenness. She's so lost in her loneliness that no one has ever understood the depths of it. I'm too young to know and the fact that living is not that easy. Words aren't enough to convince her that she's loved and cherished. I was so afraid to say it, fearing she might run away. Her mother promised her that she will never leave her, but she did. And Zhaira took it to her heart. All I can do is act upon what I feel. While waiting for the time she's ready, I am willing to go through any troubles to be with her and to be better for her. By the time I became the man I wanted to be for her, she might realize I am capable enough to stand by my feelings.
~
My mother is my best friend. She used to tell me that she loves me so much and that she will never leave me. She's our favorite person in the whole world and I can see how my father adored her. I took it to my heart every promised she made. I am different from my brothers, I usually can get lost in my own world that my father fails to understand. He unintentionally can invalidate everything in me. Only mother did understand. That's why when she died, I felt like the wind who helps me fly disappeared. And so I fell hard rock bottom.
But there is Zach, the boy who I love to annoy and bully seems to take everything I do as a sugar in a hot choco. Sweet but completely unnecessary. He's the only one who can cut through my walls without doing anything at all. I knew God had sent me an angel and that is Zach.
I've always known my feelings for him had gotten stronger, but as time goes by, things happened that I can no longer control. I drift further away from the right direction. His direction. But this is why I like Zach, he listens. Instead of fixing me like my dad. He may sound like my father sometimes out of his genuine concern, but he rather stay beside me and watch the sunrise of hope.
It's a shame to say that my depression gets the best of me.
~
He watched as Zhaira get out of Peter's van. Crossed arms as he leans on the stairs of the Mendoza's front porch. Zhaira didn't notice him immediately so she was surprised when she heard his voice.
"I can now breath easy seeing you fine and whole after being with that punk"
He revealed himself out of the shadows of the trees.
"Zach! What are you doing here? You know what time it is"
"So, kelan pa naging issue angorassa ating dalawa?"
"Hmm. Binabantayan mo ba ako?"
"I'm just checking if you're alright"
"Well, I am"
They stared at each other for a minute and their eyes shows how much they missed their company. Zhaira inserted her hands on Zach's arms and pulled him towards the garden. Without uttering any word, they leaned on the fountain looking at the beaming light of some houses from afar.
"Zhach, I appreciate you looking after me. But, you don't have to. Kailangan mong mag-focus to get that scholarship"
"Zhaira, I want you to know that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I care"
"I know you do"
She leans her head on Zach's shoulder. She misses the comfort that only Zach can give.
"I've never told you this Zach, but I'm sorry for tatay"
"Shh. It's no one's fault"
"Do you really believe that?"
"I do. With all my heart"
"I'm glad to hear that from you. atleast kahit paano makakatulog ako ng maayos"
"No one should be blamed for his death.Death and life is larger than any of us."
"Pinapakagaan mo lang loob ko eh"
"Is it working?"
"Always do"
"Hmmm. I just don't know about your relationship with"
"You do what you do best for me Zach. You don't have to like it or understand, just let me be"
It is breaking me. I'm afraid that Peter might have done something right, I'm failing to do to make her calm like this. But I can't say no to her. I won't make things any harder for her. So I'll let her be.
They stayed in the garden for hours and Zhaira had slept in his arms. He gently caresses her face to wake her up. Her eyes flinched, seeing Zach's angel face.
"Is it morning already?"
"Almost"
She presses her face to her palms while his nose smells her hair.
"Come watch the sunrise with me?"
They watched the sunrise together in Zhaira's favorite spot in Baguio. She finds hope in it, but easily can get lost at sunset. Fearing that a day of breakthrough will never come.
He watches her hair blown by the morning wind. She spreads her hands as if she wanted to fly. Her smiles are sparkling like the sunrays. Zhaira is every bit of sunshine to Zach, without her realizing it.
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"Zach?"
"Yes?"
"You're my favorite person in the world"
I just smiled when she said that. She doesn't know it, but she is my world.
