DEADROSES | PHAN

-ˏˋ thirty seven ˎˊ-

"yeah, there is," he muttered, his tone harsh. phil gasped as something sharp dug into his skin. several sharp things. "fuck off."

he let go of him and phil stepped back, in awe. he rolled up his sleeve, discovering that he was bleeding from several places on his wrist. thorns.

when he looked back at dan, the angry look was gone, replaced with shock. dan's eyes shone with tears, his cheeks flushed. he let out a soft whimper.

"i'm sorry..." his voice broke, and he was up in seconds, rushing past both phil and eliza to get outside. phil didn't move for a full minute, in shock.

when he finally came to his senses he turned to eliza, who looked just as surprised as he was.

"did he just... hurt you?"

phil nodded, swallowing and looking back down at his arm.

"i think so." he took a shaky breath. "i have to go find him..."

eliza nodded, her eyes wide. phil ran after dan, swinging the door open and hearing the bell ring as it shut behind him.

he saw dan round a corner, and followed after him. but he hadn't gotten far because as soon as phil got around the bend he found him, collapsed against the wall, sobbing. his heart broke a little more.

"dan..."

dan shifted to face away from him, crying harder. "i'm sorry," he whimpered, shaking his head. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to, i... i c-can't control it."

"i know," phil breathed, kneeling next to him. "i know, baby, it's okay."

dan shook his head again, trembling. "no, it isn't. you should hate me, why don't you hate me? i'm a monster."

"you aren't a monster," phil said firmly, moving to sit beside him. "it's okay, dan. i know it was an accident. it's okay..."

he went to wrap his arms around him, but dan flinched away. he looked up, his eyes red.

"i'm a freak," he whispered, meeting phil's eyes. "and you deserve better."

"there is no better," phil insisted, his voice going a bit higher in his panic. "and... and if there was, i wouldn't want it-! i want you."

dan just sobbed again, hiding his face in his arms. phil was silent. he knew what he had to do, but he desperately didn't want to.

before he could say it dan stood, starting down the street again with purpose. phil scrambled to follow him, eyes wide.

"where are you going?"

dan shook his head, running his fingers through his hair.

"home."

as soon as phil realized what he meant he gasped, running after him and dodging in front of him, holding his arms out.

"jarvis is not your home, dan."

dan whimpered, shoving past him. "go away."

"no." phil stepped in front of him again, grabbing his wrists. "i'm not going away, dan, you're stuck with me." he flinched, knowing that wasn't exactly true considering what he was going to do. dan struggled in his grip, and phil wrapped his arms around him, picking him up easily by the waist to prevent him from moving.

"do you love me?"

phil hadn't meant to ask it- well, he was going to, just not like that. his face went pink, and dan's efforts weakened.

"w-what?"

"you heard me." phil held him tighter in case he tried to make a run for it while his guard was down. "do you love me?"

dan huffed, pushing on his shoulders in an effort to get him to set him down. "i don't see what it matters, i-"

"do you love me," phil repeated, biting his lip and looking ahead of him, listening for the response. "answer it. i'll let you go."

dan gave up on struggling, panting softly. phil could hear he was crying again.

"i can't-"

"do you love me."

dan whimpered, dropping to his feet when phil's grip on his waist loosened. he could finally look him in the eye.

"yes," he breathed, tears streaming down his face, the word almost forceful. "yes, yes, yes, god, phil, so much."

phil's breath caught and he searched his face, finding only truth. then his eyes traveled down, and he gasped.

roses were growing directly from his chest, some curling up towards his neck, some resting right over his heart. dan looked down as well, flinching.

phil took a step back, and he was crying too, now, silently.

"dan, i..."

dan seemed to catch on, his eyes widening, shiny with tears.

"phil, no, please..." his voice broke. "please don't do this, it isn't like that..."

"i have to," phil breathed, shaking his head. "i can't live with myself knowing i'm hurting you..."

dan shook his head almost frantically, swallowing hard. "no, that isn't why, please..."

phil stepped forward, unable to help himself. he touched dan's face, cupping his jaw and running his thumb over his cheek. dan stared at him, searching his eyes desperately. phil smiled sadly, leaning in and pressing their lips together for a split second before pulling back.

"i'm breaking up with you."

-

ahh i'm sorry