I'm Here to Fix You - Broken Souls Series #2

Hard decisions

I blame fenia87 xD your enthusiasm has infected me, now I just can't keep myself from writing this every second I have lol

CHAPTER 16 - HARD DECISIONS

SILVIA'S POV

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ryan asked for the third time, arching an eyebrow at me.

I blinked my eyes to get back to the conversation, and forced a smile on my face. "Yes, I ... sorry, what were you saying?"

"Babe, what's wrong? You've been weird all week ... well, month. Is this because I couldn't make it? I'm sorry, I-"

"No, it's not that, Rye, don't worry. You had to work, it's fine."

He sighed. Even through the laptop's screen I could see how bummed he was. I understand him, I've been kind of ... aloof lately. I'm not even sure why. He thinks it's because we had to cancel our celebration for the first month together and we haven't been seeing each other, since he has to work through the weekend lately, but it's really not.

"I'm not one of those clingy girlfriends that hold it against you for being a responsible adult, Rye. I'm not mad ... just ... bummed." I bit my lip, reading the answer in his eyes before I could voice it.

"I miss you too, babe." He cracked a sad lopsided smile, one that makes him look like a cute puppy, but I don't like it nevertheless, mostly because his face lights up when he smiles cheerfully, and I hate seeing him sad, as mushy as that sounds. "I'm sorry about all this ..."

I opened my mouth to restate what I already have these past weeks. He doesn't need to worry about anything, his work is just as important, he has ambitions, I'll never ask him to pick between his job and me. That would be absurdly childish and I don't understand how could there be women that do that. But Ryan prevented me.

"I know, I know, ours is an adult relationship, we don't need to be together 24/7 and all that, but ..."

"The long distance is starting to wear you out, isn't it?" I read through his words. I guess it was good until it lasted. I should have predicted it wouldn't be that long before distance started getting in the way.

"Yes, but not for the reason you think." Ryan said instead.

I blinked my eyes, surprised. "No? I mean, I would understand it, Rye. It really is exhausting. I would understand if you'd prefer something ... simpler."

He heaved that sigh. That sigh he heaves every time I try to unconsciously test his determination. I mean, sometimes I mention that I know it's hard, we live so far, and there's not even the-uh ... fun side of things, so I would understand if he wants to back off, but lately he gets frustrated, with reason, I'd say.

"Babe, I'm here. I'm in. I told you. I don't care about distance or whatever. I wanna be with you." His standard response. It's cliché, I guess, but I won't deny it does warm my frigid heart.

"I know, but ..."

"Long distance is wearing me out, quite simply, because I miss you, babe. I miss you real bad every day. And it's frustrating that I can't just drive up to your place or surprise you at work whenever I can't take it anymore."

"Oh, Rye ..."

"I'm frustrated, I won't deny it." He gave me a half grin, the same he had on when he was a little scoundrel, I saw the pictures. "But it's not because I've ... gotten as intimate with my right hand as I was when I was 13."

I chuckled. "Gross."

"What? You think I don't do that? I do. Thinking of you every time, of course." He winked.