It All Started In Rehab ✓

[Chapter Thirty-Four] Broken Lives. Julian

She screamed and Kylie came back in but I just told her to get out. She was in such a fragile place right now and she wouldn't want everyone seeing her like this.

'I hate you. You ruined everything, you ruined me and you ruined my life.'

Those words just played through my head like a broken record, echoing in the silence around us and I felt like I was going to be sick as she backed away from me. I knew that this was a possibility and I guess if I had to lose her to keep her from taking drugs again, it would be worth it. It would hurt, but she would still be okay.

But all I could think about was her with another man, how she would kiss him like she kissed me, how she would love him and how it would be his hand gently touching her soft skin. Worse was when my mind went past that and it was him she would give herself to, him she would want to spend her life with.

"I can't do this." her words snapped me out of my thoughts and she backed up more.

"Do what?" I asked her but I knew what she was going to say, I guess I would just need to hear it to know it was over with us.

"This, I can't be your girlfriend. I can't hurt you; I can't do this to you. it's not fair." She looked like she wasn't even her right now as she just looked around and then continued to talk to herself.

"Don't."

"I tried to give you cocaine!" she screamed

"I know." My voice was weak right now because that was something that was just, it wasn't okay. Her having drugs at all in here wasn't okay. And it wasn't okay to have them ever again. If she can't do it in here how is she going to stay sober when she gets out?

"How could I do that?" she sunk to the ground and wrapped her arms around her knees before she put her head on them.

"What's happened to us?" I asked myself as the weight of everything just broke me and I couldn't stand anymore.

We were so happy. I have never in my life been as happy as I was with her. In a short time she meant the world to me. I would do anything for her because I cared about her, and I loved her.

I loved her so much and I just hoped to get the chance to tell her. I just wanted her. I would help her I would work with her and I would forgive her for this. I knew we could get past this, I knew this wasn't her; I knew she was better and stronger than this.

"Don't leave me." I felt utterly broken. I needed her with me, I guess I couldn't blame her though, she got a small glimpse into who I used to be and I was not a good person.

She cried as she crawled across the room and into my lap, she had given up on pushing me away as he held onto me and I held onto her for dear life.

"Don't ever do that again, you scared me so much. I hated having to do that. I don't want to hurt you; I don't want to scare you. Fuck, I never want you to be afraid of me Bailey, I never want you to feel like I would hurt you or overpower you, but I needed it from you. Please know I only did it because I needed to have it so you don't hurt yourself more. I needed to do it to protect you" I kept talking because I didn't want her to not hear why I did it.

I pushed her matted hair back and started with her eyes, I just wanted to kiss all the pain away, I would take it all if I could. She let me kiss her whole face and when I kissed her I pulled her lips more to mine, I held her and kissed her like I needed her to breathe until the burning in my lungs started and we needed actual oxygen.

She left and handed me more, the last of it I hoped. I guess I just thought that she would have given me all if it. I gave it to Kylie and then she cried for Lacey. She tried pushing me away because she didn't want me to leave her but she didn't realize just how ridiculous that was.

I would never leave her fully. Even when I got out I would be there and I would be right there as soon as she did too.

I told her I would never forget her and even though I knew she didn't mean it at the time, I felt so much better hearing her say she didn't hate me.

I needed her to understand I wouldn't leave her; I needed her to understand just how much she meant to me.

"I'll never leave you, pretty girl. I love you so much and I always will." I put my heart out there for her and finally told her how I felt. I guess it was just up to her now to tell me if she felt the same way or not.

i think this situation needed both Pov, so here it is.

And though it's sad because of Lacey, it shows how much he's grown as a person in there. 
He used to be selfish and think of himself, drink do drugs and have sex without caring about a single person. but when presented with the opportunity to sleep with her he didn't, he cares too mcuh about her and he could have taken cocaine with her but he refused. he's getting stronger than his addictions.