[Chapter Nine] Mia

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Chapter Nine- Mia
Julian's Pov

"What do you mean by interesting?" I crossed my arms and looked at him

"I mean it's interesting" he said from not too far away, he didn't sit all the way across, enough to give you space but close enough to be comfortable.

"Why?" I said getting annoyed

"It's interesting that you would break the rules and want to talk to her and be around her and even go and get her food. I find it interesting that you care for her." he said and I looked away, I found it interesting too.

"I don't know why." I told him as I looked back at him.

"Tell me about her" he suggested

"I don't know what's crossing a line to tell" I said unsure now. I don't know what she wanted him to know, I know she opened up to me, and I didn't want to break that trust, even if she would never know, I would know.

"Okay, tell me about how you're feeling for her, and maybe that is something you should talk to her about, I doubt she feels too comfortable though."

"I know, what do you want me to tell you."

"Anything, you can just throw things out there" he suggested again and I thought about what I wanted to tell him, but there wasn't much thought to it, I trusted him and I could tell him anything so I told him the first thing that came.

"I told her that one session I broke down in here and that I still do time to time." I started with and he nearly dropped his pen and paper in surprise.

"You told her that?" he asked to clarify and I nodded

"I barley know her, I just know she's only nineteen, she has a twin brother who hurt her years ago, she's addicted to Heroin and she doesn't give a fuck who I am."

"She doesn't care?" he asked

"Not at all. she knows but she doesn't care about my money or my movies, she doesn't care that I'm famous. She'll still kick my ass or at least try if I do something to piss her off or annoy her; to her I'm like everyone else."

"And you like that?" he asked

"Yes, I spent far too long with people who pretended to know me, but knew nothing about me, they pretended to care to keep up appearances, I'm tired of the fake and the lies and the bad. Bailey isn't any of that."

"Tell me about your time together?"

"I just like being with her, she makes me want to be better, she makes me want to get better and recover so that I can show her that it's possible, and so I can be strong for her."

"All of that, she's been here less than a week." He encouraged me on to talk.

"I know, but I still just feel that way. Anything I say to you, you can't tell anyone else, right, not even Kylie." I said first

"You know that, but if you are harming yourself, plan to harm others or if you're using again I have to tell them."

"Okay, so none of that, but I've been staying over in Bailey's room the past few days." I told him and his eyes shot to mine again and the disapproval in his eyes nearly made me wince.

"Excuse me." he said

"I've been sleeping in her room." I said again

"You know sexual relationships aren't allowed." He shook his head

"I'm just sleeping there; we aren't having a sexual relationship. I stayed there the night she had her breakdown, and I've just been sleeping there, I sleep better."

"Julian, you know that's still not allowed, the rules are here for a reason, and I don't want you tempted."

"I'm not."

"You lead a not so steady lifestyle before this, and you haven't been with a woman in months, you're not tempted at all?"

"I wouldn't ask her to compromise her belief's for me." I snapped at him.  He made me sound like such a bad person. I'm not proud of the choices I made, I'm not proud I got addicted to cocaine, I'm not proud I slept around with women I didn't remember in the morning, and I'm not proud of the amount of things I've destroyed; my life, my families, my career, various objects.

"What are her beliefs?"

"She's a virgin and will be staying that way."

"Hm" he said and I rolled my eyes.

"I know, it's a rare thing in this type of society, especially with the people I've seen sell themselves for a fix, but I believe her and I'm proud of her, and I would never push her."

"I believe you."

"I feel like I've known her for a long time, even though I know I know nothing about her. I don't know how to describe it." I said frustrated, I wasn't explaining this to well and I just needed him to help me not sit there and tell me what I already know.

"You care for her, that's a good thing."

"Is it?" I wondered

"Of course, you made some bad choices, but detoxification isn't easy and everyone goes through a hard time, it doesn't make you a bad person, and I think it's great that you're trying to open up to someone and let them in."

"I feel like I can relate to her, I'm going to try to take her with me to the gym once she's better. She's angry right now, and I think that it would help. I know it helped me."

"I think it's worth a try. Just be careful

"Why do I need to be careful?" I asked curiously.

"For a few reasons, wshe needs to figure things out on her own as well and I don't want you to get too invested on something that may not work, it's hard enough, but with you barley knowing her and with it being a high stress situation just be cautious."

"I will." I promised, I understood somewhat where he was coming from, but at the same time it was my decision to make. I wanted to know her better and that wasn't going to happen if I didn't take a chance on it. I don't know why I wanted too, but something inside of me was telling me I should.

Something was telling me that this was okay, but I needed to be careful not to push her, just because I was intrigued by her didn't mean she wanted anything to do with me. I just wanted to be her friend, but I didn't have any friends, so I wasn't sure how to go about that.

I was used to sleeping with women and leaving, I didn't get attached, I didn't make friends because they always wanted something from me, I didn't like people.

This situation was getting more and more confusing talking to him and just thinking more into this situation. My brain was so scattered that I didn't know what I was thinking anymore and it was giving me a headache.

"Do you want to know what I think about all of this?" Robert asked suddenly very serious

"Yes." I said but I was so unsure if I did or not.

"I think you need to be careful. I think you're trying to save her because you couldn't save Mia." He said and I felt the pang in my chest at his words, he knew we didn't talk about Mia.

AHHH 2014 Guys!!!!!!!!!!! Happy New Year everyone everywhere! Questions!
1. New Year's Resolution
2. Biggest hope for this year

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