I'm Fine.

Blake and Beth

Blake, put down the blade!

-

"And I said to her, 'I hope my little boy body didn't turn you on too much', and she started laughing." Beth spoke through the line, her voice bubbly.

I faked a laugh, "funny."

"Are you okay?" She questioned, concern evident in her voice. I sighed, hating how easily she could tell there was something wrong with me.

"I'm fine," I whispered softly. "Hey, I'll call you later, okay? I have something to do..."

"Do you want me to-"

"No!" I practically shouted. I cleared my throat, and in my most convincing voice I said: "Don't worry, Beth. I'm fine."

There was a long pause before she answered, the line going completely quiet. Then, she spoke. "Alright. I'm always here for you."

I hung up, and as on cue, my bedroom door swung open. The familiar silhouette of a man stood in the doorway, his smile the only thing seen in the dark room. "Good girl."

-

*Sshhhhhh*

The sound of running water.

I jumped into the shower, the steaming hot water stinging my bare skin. I loved the feel. Grabbing the soap, I lathered it on my wash cloth, roughly scrubbing all over my body. My skin burning bright red. I felt dirty. I wanted to be clean. I didn't feel clean. I wasn't clean. I want to be clean. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

I could feel the tears threatening to fall pool in my eyes, blurring my vision. Dropping to my knees I allowing them to fall. I wanted to ended it all. To drown, right here,

In the shower,

On the floor of the tub.

A few minutes had pasted and I was still alive- still breathing. I sighed, turning off the water and quickly ran to my room, shutting the door. It was quiet, dark, and I was afraid. Afraid he'd return. Afraid he'd want more. Afraid he'd do it again.

Just. So. Afraid.

I wiped my puffy eyes, sniffing, and reached under my mattress for the razor. The point pricked my finger and I smiled, loving the brief moment of pain.

I licked my dry lips, exhaling shakey breaths as I slashed open my skin, the marks spelling: save me.

I quiety cried out, watching the blood trickle down my arms and wrist. I could no longer feel, I no longer cared. I cut deeper, and deeper. More and more blood spilling from the open wounds.

"Blake, put down the blade!"

I jumped, staring up towards my open bedroom door. There she stood, her blue eyes bright in the dark room, tears streaming her face. She ran towards me, pulling me into a tight hug. I sat motionless in her arms, more tears falling.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't come sooner." She pulled back, taking off her shirt and wrapping it tightly around my arm. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head.

I was never okay.

I mean honestly, did I look okay?

"C'mon," she sniffed, gently pulling me to my feet, "we're going to clean this up, and then you're coming home with me. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Do you understand?"

"Thank you," I whispered softly before being engulfed by darkness.