Give Me Love {Andy Biersack FanFiction}

Chapter Seven-Talk

Authors Note:

OMG hi my lovelies! Im sorry i havent updated in a while but please forgive me because i have been dealing with some very serious issues. I know that Sierra self harms and some people have wondered why i didnt write anything while she cut her self. Well I am slowly getting clean after 3 years of self harm and so i didnt want to trigger myself or anyone else. But
WARNING: THIS COULD BE A TRIGGER CHAPTER AND WILL CONTAIN DETAILED SELF HARM INCIDENTS SO PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DESCRETION.

Bye for now ♥

Sierra's Point of View

The next morning I wake up and pull my crazy hair out of my mouth. I grab a Metallic tank top and a pair of leggings with ying-yangs printed all over them along with a new pair of underwear. I open my door and peek out - I dont know why, I guess Im sort of dreading the talk Andy promised to have with me last night. I dont see him and Im relieved for that and that I dont have to put on pants before getting in the shower. I close my door again and open the door that leads to the bathroom. Crow winds around my legs the moment I open the door and I watch him slink under my bed. Andy isnt in the bathroom so i walk in and make sure all the doors are locked before pulling off my t-shirt and panties. I start the water and set my make up bag on the counter next to my clothes. As the room steams up i stare at myself in the foggy mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. I stayed up all night, replaying the way Andy looked at me. It was concern, sympathy, pain, pity, and disappointment. I hate feeling like Ive let him down.
My fingers twitch toward my make up bag and the next thing i know Ive dumped the contents on the counter and am scrambling to catch the tiny metal object that bounces out. It clinks against the counter and i pick it up, glancing over my shoulder as if Andy some how heard and will materialize behind me to stop me. But of course he isnt there. I press my bare back against the wall and slide to the cool tile as the mirror fogs up. I sit there and pull my knees up before pressing the blade to my inner thighs. As i drag it across my skin i sigh as clarity floods through me. I cut once, twice, thirteen times before setting the blade down. I watch the blood pool around a roll of fat where my thigh meets my hip. Before it has a chance to drip onto the tile i step into the shower and relish the sting of the hot water in my fresh cuts.
It isnt until i stand in front of the foggy mirror that i feel regret for my actions.

Andy's Point of View

I hear the shower turn off upstairs and set a bowl of ceral on the counter. I remeber Sierra mentioning how much she likes Cocoa Puffs so i made sure to get some.  A moment later i hear her walk out of the bathroom and head downstairs. She walks into the kitchen wearing a Metallica shirt and probably the coolest pair of leggings Ive ever seen.
"Morning," I say.
She smiles at me timidly. "Good morning."
We sit down and i cant help but stare at her arms as she reaches for the milk. Shes covered them in her make up again but i cant still see the faint lines now that i know theyre there. We eat sliently and i wait until she finishes drinking the milk left over in her bowl before i speak.
"So...." I say. Sierra looks up at me, brown eyes wide. "About last night. I dont want to force you to do anything, but we do need to talk about this."
"I know," she whispers.
"Do you wanna maybe go up to the game room or your room or something?"
She nods, and after placing our bowls in the sink i follow her up the stairs and into the game room. She plops into a red bean bag and crosses her legs. I stare at her black and silver painted toenails while waiting for her to talk.
"My mother found out she was pregnant with me when she was fifteen," Sierra starts, softly. "She tried to abort me....but it failed and i was born 31 weeks early." Without thinking i reach over and grab Sierra's hand. "She gave me up for adoption right after i was born. My family- the ones who adopted me -they were nicer than stories ever told. They took care of me. I was the youngest. I had an older sister, Sophie, and an older brother, Brandon. Everything was good and i was happy, until Sophie started dating this boy in the eighth grade. I was nine when they started going out and i will admit, i had a small crush on him. But then one night he came over to hang out while Sophie was gone. I was so happy that an older boy was giving me attention i didnt think anything of it. We watched a few movies in the den before he suddenly leaned over and kissed me. I was so shocked, i had no idea what to do, so i let him. And when he slipped off my clothes, i still let him. I didnt do anything to stop him." Tears pool in Sierra's eyes as she talks and i squeeze her hand. "Every time he came over, until his and Sophie's senior year of high school, he would brutally rape me. He would hit me and tell me i was worthless and unwanted and i never told anyone. But a few days before my eighteenth birthday he and Sophie came down to visit. He corned me in the kitchen and said 'Miss me? Well youre all grown now, so you can show me just how much.' I left that night." Sierra hangs her head and takes a deep breath. "He still calls me, saying hes worried and that hes going to find me."
"Like fucking hell he'll find you!" I growl, my teeth gritted. The thought of someone hurting a girl so young - its sick. And when i think of someone hurting a girl like Sierra and i nearly lose it. "As long as i'm around he wont get anywhere near you."
Sierra wiped her face and gives me a shaky smile. I lean closer and wrap my arms around her. She falls into me and cries into my shirt like last night, only this time i am the only one to comfort her. I scoot over next to her so shes laying against my chest as she sobs. She cries and cries for nearly twenty minutes and i dont say anything. I just rub small circles on her back and rock slightly back and forth. She gives a shuddery sigh anb begins to hiccup. It isnt for about five minutes before i realize she has fallen asleep.
i smile to myself and hold her. Shes so short, but curvy too. i enjoy feeling her body against mine. A few minutes pass with us only breathing together and then i look down. Her hand rests right overnmy heart, fingers curled. I gently turn her wrist over and examine the scars on her biceps and the cuts and scars along the inside and outside of her forearm. I trace them with the pad of my thumb, some lined neatly in rows and others slanted and slopply piled and criss-crossed over each other.
I hate that she does this to herself. I wish she knew just how beautiful she is. How beautiful I think she is. I brush a few strands of her lavender colored hair off her dark cheek. I would love to stay here with Sierra, but Warped Tour is coming up and unfortunately i need to go and run some errands.  As softly as i can, i slide Sierra off me and she relaxes into the beanbag. I decide to leave her here, she looks like she didnt get any sleep last night. Quickly, i scribble out a note before standing and turning to go. As an afterthought i turn back around and press my lips to Sierras forehead before leaving.

Okay guys, i hope you liked it, sorry it took so long and was pretty short and sucky. I'll be updating soon, thanks! (: ♥

SIERRA'S OUTFIT TO SIDE