It Happened Last Year

Chapter 41

Daniel snaps back to reality and moves underneath me, trying to sit up, but I hold him down. "Hailey," he says, "you don't have to do this."

"I need to know," I murmur and try to force him back, but I'm not strong enough. "I have to know how he felt. I have to know what it felt like. I have to be in control."

Daniel tries to get up again, but I refuse to move. Then my flustered mind changes and I move beside him on the bed, laying on my back. He looks down at me and I tell him with my eyes, I tell him to get on top of me. Daniel turns away. "I'm not doing this," he says, "not like this."

My heart rate picks up and anger rises within me. "I need to know!"

"No," Daniel says louder, harsher, "I said no."

I glare at him and shoot up from the bed. "No, huh? You're saying 'no?'" I head for the door.

"Hailey," Daniel calls to me from the bed, calmer. "Hailey."

"No!" I shout before storming down the hall. I can feel him behind me, following me. "No! No! No! You know what? Don't talk to me," I swiftly turn to him, "don't ever talk to me again. Leave me alone. Get away from me." When I reach the door he grabs my shoulder and I yank back. "Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me!"

I flee outside and ignore that fact that he is following me still. "Where are you going!" He calls, also sounding angry. "Where are you going!"

I head down the street towards the main road. "I'm going to find someone that'll screw me, how about that?" I yell back. My eyes fill with tears, and I swipe them away, angry at myself. I look back at him hurrying down the street, not paying attention, and I step out into the road. My heart hurtles forward at the sudden sound of a car horn and the air is stolen from my lungs as a car speeds past me.

I am frozen in place, in complete shock, then I simply fall to the ground, landing on my butt. I sit on the curb and take a deep breath. My eyes follow the car as it pulls to the side, the window rolling down, a person shouting, "watch where you're going! Damn it! Dumb bitch!"

Daniel yells back, "alright, alright, she's sorry. Now get outta' here!"

The guy in the car mutters something before continuing on. I glance back at Daniel as he reaches me and pulls me up. "Daniel, I—"

"Come on," he says, cutting me off, probably not wanting to hear my voice.

"But I—"

"Come on."

He brings me back inside, into the living room and he turns off the music. I look up at him—regretful and sorry—and he sits me down on the couch before standing in front of me. Embarrassed over everything I've done, I avoid his eyes and internally curse at myself. It took almost getting hit by a car to bring me back to real life, and now all I want to do is hide under a rock. That side of me—the side that climbed on top of him and tried to—my face turns red. I don't know her, that girl who yelled that she was going to find someone to. . . I don't know her.

"Don't do that again," Daniel says firmly, "don't talk like that again."

I continue to shy away from him, nodding with my head down. "Okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that—it wasn't fair. I just—I don't know what's going on with me." I gather the courage to look up. "I don't know why I. . . Asked that of you."

He doesn't say anything. I'm sure he doesn't know what to say, so I continue. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I should go. I should get out of your life. Clearly, I'm not ready for anything like this."

"Don't say that," he says.

"I'm not ready for this, Daniel. I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't see you anymore. Not if this is who I become."

He looks up at me, not willing to let go that easily. "I'm not mad, Hailey. I'm not. You just, caught me off-guard, that's all."

I shake my head. "You don't have to make it sound acceptable because it wasn't. It was messed up—I'm messed up, okay? Maybe in another world this would have worked out, maybe if Harrison never. . . I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't do this. I need help. I need to go right now."

Daniel takes me home and it is a quiet ride. When I get inside I hurry past my mother—ignoring her questions—and I lock myself in my bedroom. The drive is still plugged into my laptop, and before I have enough time to cry, my phone rings. Thinking it's Daniel, I pick it up to ignore the call, but I see that it's my Dad calling.

I sigh and answer. "Now's not a good time, it's late and—"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, but I had to tell you the good news as soon as it was final," my Dad says, confusing me, "Karly and I are moving back to Florida."