It Is Worth It

4.

Forgiveness

Okay, so now we're on to most people's least favourite topic.....forgiveness. We're going to talk about not just forgiving others but also forgiving yourself.

Most times, when we talk about forgiveness we think about all the things that someone did to us in the past. We think about how hard it is to hear their name or to even see their face. But that is not the hardest part of forgiveness. It's easy to see what someone else did, it's easy to see what someone did to someone else, but we are still blind to what we do to ourselves.

So before we get into what someone else did, let's start from the root. Most times when we "think" we have forgiven someone we actually haven't, because we're still holding grudges and 'coping' not actually trying to let it go. Another reason we haven't actually done it is because we have trouble within our own selves, we can't see that we have to firstly forgive ourselves for the self harm we've caused.

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So let's get right into it, some of us have horrible situations that haunt us daily. These things have followed us our whole lives because of one thing, we have made it into a "self thing". Pain overshadowed all logical thinking and a pity party started, before you know it it's not even about who did you wrong anymore.

Most of the time this is influenced by people who tell you need to get revenge or you do not have anyone who seems to understand how you feel about the situation. Take notice of how you react to a unfair situation. If you replay it in your mind for years and years, and it just so happens to come up in the list of things that "made you who you are today" you're not over it, you haven't passed it and you are pitying yourself. Notice the cycle? Everything revolves one common thing "pity".

Pity is the root of all evil. Pity is the seed to weeds around your heart and mind. It destroys your outlook on life. Those weeds eventually turn into branches of really strong trees, fed by pointless tears and replayed scenarios. Pity turns you into a bitter being, it causes you to be selfish. "Well what about me? How do you think I felt?" "He/she hasn't told me sorry"

You keep looking for an apology, I can guarantee that is never promised. In this world unfair situations has become a norm, it's a common thing sadly. If you want a apology start by giving yourself one. Apologise to yourself for continuing to LIVE in the pain. Truth is, after someone hurt you they're gone. After that it's up to you how you want to live. Often times we continue our hurt by staying stuck right in that moment. Our lives now start to revolve around it. I can remember thinking, I've forgiven people but at the same time I was like "okay this only happened because I allowed it to happen" "this happened because I said nothing" "this happened because of my nature, because of my personality". But until the day it caught up to me, was when I realised exactly why I couldn't get past it, why it still haunted me. I started to ask God what am I doing wrong?, the moment I asked God that question was when a revelation came. I was the problem, I made it MY problem. I constantly blamed myself for something that was not my fault. I continued a cycle and did further damage to my own self. I then realised the true meaning of forgiveness and how to forgive. As humans it's natural for us to blame someone for a situation, in order to find a solution or to have a reason to be upset. But forgiveness is not about that, it's not about "what he did" "what she did" "what the universe did" but it's about "whatever whomever did, it ain't gonna stop me from living". It's about rising up and believing in who you are in spite of, it's taking care of your mental health and being responsible for your own well being.

Forgiveness is being able to brush yourself off and living your best life to show whoever hurt you that you are royalty, you are a King and you are a Queen. No one will stop you from wearing your crown and surely no one will push it off, because it's yours. Reposition your crown and reposition  yourself.

Start with yourself, apologise to yourself for allowing people and the enemy to deceive you because of pain, because of pity. Remind yourself of who you are and what you are about. Do not ever give someone the ability to have something over you. Forgive yourself, Forget about what you did to yourself all these years by holding on and finally let go. That's it, it is that simple LET IT GO. It's just like holding on to a rope, you hold on to the pain, thinking that if you let go that's when your life will be in shambles. Let it go, that's when you see your REAL freedom. When you let it go and forgive yourself, that's when the chain reaction starts for people. Things that people did to you will be one less problem, because you decided not let it be a ME problem.. but let it just be a "problem".

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Luke 6:37

Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

God urges us to forgive others, because does the same for us. Forgiveness is easy and simple, because just like when you ask God to forgive you of things that you have done to people or whatever the case may be, he does it with no questions asked.

Just like God is willing to forget and have mercy, we must do the same. God leads by example. At this point, I'm positive that you have gotten the message.

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I hope that this addition to the book has been a blessing to you. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
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