Love & Pain: Rain

No More Pain. Please.

What can I start with?

Got no specific point where he has hurt me the most.

He's hurt me in every way,
Every day,
Like anyone.

Why?
I might feel it this way
Cause it's the only person I've truly loved.
My first love.

I don't like saying it though,
Cause if I say that I love him,
Apart from hurting myself any further,
I feel myself getting deeper into his love.

He's never loved me,
Or ever felt anything for me.

I don't know. He's weird.
He hides so many things, I can tell.

And I can only say,
That I love him
And with all the pain I've bear,
Proves that I love him even more than I can ever say.

But,
What he's done to me.

What?

I want the answer.
I want him to tell me.
To get away or to get close.

I want to seem strong in front of him,
But I also want to cry in front of him.

I don't fucking care if he'd think
I'm a little girl,
I just want him to see me! To notice me!

For fuck's sake!

Is it really too much too ask for something great as his arms around me and his mind focused on me for a second would be?

I love him,
I mean, I feel so frustrated,
So fucking tired,
I just want you.
I don't even know why,
I don't even know why I love you this much,
But I just do.

You aren't like anyone else,
I know that,
You've proven that to me.

What else?

Well, let's not forget the girl you like,
The lucky one,
But guess what?
She's always ignored him.

It's like a sign,
We should be together.
But we aren't.

We fucking aren't.

I fucking love you,
More than you could ever know.

More than you could ever understand.

You're probably gonna leave without truly knowing,
That I was - probably- meant for you.

I'm tired you know?
I'm angry, I'm sad,
I'm happy, I'm depressive,
I'm thoughtful, I'm away, and that repeats again
And again with you.

I'm a mess,
I'm a mix of emotions,
I'm just a shit.

For you,
I know I am.
For you,
I wouldn't mind.

But I realise,
I'm worthy,
And you're the loser,
That can't see what he has in front.

I love you.
I know.
But I don't want you to hurt me.
Even when you say you try not to,
You just make it worse.

But it's not your fault,
You just happen to be perfect for me.

...