What Are We Doing

Alyssa

I walk to the sink to clean up my face. I threw up everything in my system I feel so disgusted with myself. How did I not know, I feel so stupid, I actually let him break down my walls, I let myself fall for him, I should have known he would never love me, I was just a distraction to keep his mind off the wedding. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a tear escape my eye forcefully wiping it away.

"Be strong Alyssa you got this" I tell myself. I hear a knock on the door and I open it to see jack. He pushes me in and locks the door behind him. He turns around and look at me, I just stare at the ground.

"Alyssa look at me. Please" he pleads, I could hear the sadness in his voice. He has no right to be sad he is the one that lied to me, cheated on his fiancé with me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't know he walked up to me. He grabs my chin and lifts my face up so I look into his eyes.

"Bunny" He quietly says. I want everything to be alright I want everything to go back to the way it was except no fiancé. I want him to love me. I let another tear escape. I'm so angry with myself now for showing him my vulnerable side. I push his hand away and turn around so I can't look at him.

"Don't call me that" I say through gritted teeth

"Alyssa I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't-" i cut him off.

"Why because it was too late you already kissed me. Already led me on" I turn around and look at him in the eyes.

"Alyssa listen to what I am saying!" He says raising his voice but not loud enough for Sarah to hear. He sighs putting his hands on his face.

"Tell me something. While we were together did you think about her?" his hands go to his waist and looks everywhere except at me.

"Tell me jack. While we were together were you thinking of her. Thinking if she'd feel hurt that your doing this, thinking about the wedding, your futures, jack tell me" I plead. I look at him his eyes finally meet mine and what he says next breaks my heart into a million pieces.

"Yes" he says not leaving my eyes.

"Okay thank you for your honesty" I say and start to go through the door to my bedroom. I can't be in the same room as him anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating. I enter my room and I hear him calling my name behind me I know he's following me. I pick my purse up off the bed, he grabbed me by my arms and turned me around.

"Alyssa you need to understand-" he starts saying but I cut him off.

"Understand what jack what? There is nothing to understand. You had a fiancé the whole time and I was stupid there is nothing to understand now let me go" I say a little loud but not loud enough for his fiancé that's in the living room to hear.

"No Alyssa I am not letting you go" he says pulling me into his arms. His arms around my waist holding me tightly to him.

"Jack i am not playing let me go" I say through gritted teeth.

"No" he says. I stomp on his toe, his arms become loose and I take that chance to dash for the door. I run to the apartment door with tears running down my cheek. I hear jack calling me from my room. I open my apartment door not even closing it and rushed for the elevator that has just opened with someone exiting it. I hear jack running down the hall calling my name, the elevator door closes as he reaches. I see his eyes one last time before it closes.

I can't believe the mess I'm in. The only person I want to call and talk about this with is Ashley but she's probably on a date with my brother and I don't wanna ruin her date with my stupid problems. I get in a cab and go to the nearest park. I'm at the park thinking of how messed up my life has become. Then my mind goes to sam. I miss him so much he was such a good friend.