••×e n t r y 29ו•

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WARNING: This chapter contains unrated scenes such as sexuality and not appropriate for very young readers. LOL I'm not even an adult. But whatever. It's your choice! Just hold on tight to your holy waturue~ YOU WILL NEED IT ALOT!




••×e n t r y 29ו•


[Dear Jungkook,
I constantly tell myself that "I'm done loving you." But in the end, I find myself trying again.]



You panted heavily, feeling anxious about how the ride ended. It got your stomach flipping elsewhere, so much you wanted to puke.

"Hahaha how was it?" Jungkook asked you, fixing his ruined fringe because of the strong impacts of wind coming from the ride.

"It... It was fun." You smiled at him.

"Did you make a wish?" He asked once again.

"Yeah, I did. How 'bout you?"

"Mm... I did."

There was a few brief silence before you decided to drag him to the last stop of your 'sneak out night'. You brought him in front of the huge colorful ferris wheel which you've been itching to try.

"You want to ride this?" Jungkook held your hand, intertwining your fingers together. You didn't mind though. You liked the feeling of his hands holding your smaller ones.

You nodded at his question and stared at the ride in amazement. "I've never been in a ferris wheel since I remember."

He took your hands with him, dragging you towards the line. You felt your heart skipped a million times of beat, as tingles run through your blood up to your cheeks. You wanted to make the best of this moment. You have decided not to stop the lingering feelings you had that never really left in the first place. You ignored the fact that in the end of the day, Jungkook won't still be yours. But you have decided. You'll keep your feelings until your heart gave out, until your love gives up. You will never replace him inside your heart. He'll forever remain and you'll bare with that if that's how things wanted to be. If that's how love and the cupid wanted it to be. Unrequited or one sided, it doesn't matter as long as it wasn't considered wrong loving him till your last breath and watching him from behind as long as it was your fate to be a secret lover of him. You'll live your life with your feelings.

"Isn't beautiful?" You asked Jungkook, as your eyes wondered through the glass window of one of the ferris wheel's cabin.

"Yeah it is." He agreed. "Too wonderful, yet can't be held forever."

You turned to him, seeing him staring at you and not the beautiful view outside. His eyes were focused on you like you are something too special to him, something too special and cannot be touched. Something he wanted to own, but he can't. He was too afraid to make a mistake. Too afraid to break you.

"Jungkook." You mumbled his name for no reason.

He starred deeply into your eyes, feeling his heart ached and excited at the same time. Why was it so right to feel wrong? Why is that the happiness in moments usher in sudden fear? Was it normal that he felt touching you and owning you, but can't have the reason why to do so?

"Are you scared that I might hurt you again?" He's question lingered through your mind.

Your eyes wavered in fear. You didn't want the day to end up unhappy again. You have decided to only make happy memories with him, as long as he wants to meet, hang out, spend time and stand with you. Until he still wanted to see you and be with you, you're not going to force any feelings nor going to talk about how you both feel. You just wanted to be with him without thinking about the pain that'll come one day when he stops being with you, when he stops meeting you, when he stops talking to you, when time stops for the both of you, when this moments you have turned into valuable memories, when his girl finally tied him with her, when cupid starts to take him away from you, and when you start being alone loving him through the shadows.

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