Agony

Chapter 2

Kit, are you in there? I heard Beam's voice outside my door. I opened the door and he came storming inside. 'Dude, enough is enough it has been 2 weeks already. Spill it. Is there any problem at home? It can't be your grades so what happening, why do you look so sick. Should i take you to an hospital. Tell me now or am calling your mom.' he yelled non-stop. Pha was standing next to him all tall and silent, but with a look of concern. He slowly asked ' what is it Kit, we waited but from the looks of it you seem more troubled day by day', pausing ' you know we are here to help, and you can trust us'.

I don't know how i looked, but the something got stuck in my throat and i had to try very hard not to let the tears roll down. 'Guys, you are overacting. Stop it' was all i could say before turning back and walking into my room. These two are alpha males and have been my friends ever since we have been in 1st grade. We have seen too many joyfull times and heart breaks together but there is no way i can confess to them that i am actually questioning my own sexuality.

You guys want a beer, i ask casually. They look at each other and then Pha says – yes , never say no to beer right? He walked right into my room opened the fridge and took three cans out throwing one to me and Beam.

I am going to let you go for now Kit, but seriously next time we will punch what's troubling out of you, remember that. Beam, just give him the notes on today anatomy class and please switch on the TV. I do not want to miss the match tonight said Pha making himself comfortable on my couch. I cant help feeling grateful and pissed out at the same time.

Match was fun and I was more or less back to myself not thinking about Ming. It was good to have friends who are willing to accept your silence. Our team lost by 5 points, Beam switched off the TV and said 'guys i am hungry and all high on beer – i need food in my system, let's go. Now'. Okay okay, pick a place let me quickly grap a t-shirt i said and got up, when i came out they both were murmuring to themselves and stopped when they looked at me. Forth and his frends are at the noodle shop and we are going there. Come on.

It stopped me on tracks, Forth – that means its the engineering gang. Hope Ming is not there. I didn't say much but 'yeah ok. Let's go.' Hmm, so much for back to normal thought to myself. Pha got in the driver seat and beam next to him. I went to the back seat and got it. It was a short drive and i just kept to myself. But i can feel their eyes on me every now and then. "Guys, am okay – just look forward and drive" i said "quit being such a mom" i added just to annoy them so that they will leave me alone but on the contrary Beam said "son, i love you very much to do that so learn to accept it". Pha just laughed out loud saying "listen to mom, if you don't want me to hurt you son" . "you are the best my darling" said Beam giving a punch on Pha arm. Wait – what is happening here, is it their way of saying gay is okay? Are they on to me? Is it why Forth is there... crap. I just turn to look out the window.

We entered the small noodle shop right behind our university campus, which is like a neutral zone – and student from all colleges come here. I quickly scan the room for any signs of Ming – there is none and i can feel the tension go and i prepare myself to have fun with my friends. We had a nice dinner and some drinks , decided to walk back to our dorms. Forth and Kluai joined us.

We were right around the alley before our dorm and we heard someone fighting with all their might and crying out for help. I stopped right there, fear gripping every inch of my body. It was Ming's voice i can hear it anywhere, and i started to run towards the dumpster at the end of the alley and the guys started following me shouting "Kit, stop", "what is it Kit" – i didn't even turn around just yelled 'come on, someone is in trouble'. Praying that i might first thought was wrong.

What i saw there was enough to give me nightmare for a month and i do not even know from where the rage engulfed me. There were three goons, two holding down Ming and one at Ming's feet kneeling up trying to push himself. I all but flew to them and kicked the one on top of Ming with all my might and started punching him. Others turned around saw me and the gang behind, decided the odd were against them and ran. I lifted Ming up and hugged him tight. 'Ming, Ming – are you okay" that seems to be the only words coming out of me. My rage increased when i felt him tremble in my arms and I broke down in an instant when i saw blood near his mouth. I carried him out near the street lamp to look for signs of any other violence and his injury.

Pha offered to help carry him, but "NO" i snarled at Pha carrying Ming myself. 'How are you?, Are you hurt? Did they hurt you Ming? I can see tears in his eyes and all i wanted to do was just hug him tight and hold on to him until i stopped shivering myself. "I am okay now Kit" he said slowly "you are here, and I am okay" and then he lost conscious.