My Anxiety Is Silent (STARCO)

Chapter 2 - Somone Who Cares

Star P.O.V
"Why...did u scream in the middle of class?" Principal Kendricks voice boomed as she spoke, making me cringe out of fear. It was loud compared to my quiet soft, voice.

"Because I felt scared and needed to defend myself." I say without getting into too much detail. I didn't want the principal to think I'm insane too, that would be miserable.

"Why were you scared?" My body froze. How can I answer that without sounding crazy and/or insane?

"My mind is yelling things at me." I say without moving a muscle. She raised her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair.

"What do they say?" She asks to which I respond but my mind is telling me to not tell her anything.

She can't help you! Are you seriously stupid enough to think she will help you?!

"Things like...being alone, having no one to go to, and calling me worthless and stupid." I can tell she thought I was crazy, I see it in her eyes.

"Star, this is your mind. Control it. No one else controls it." As she speaks I can't help but roll my eyes, feeling my body slump as I realize where this is headed.

"You don't believe me. See...no one will help me. You're the principal, you should be able to help me!" I felt like screaming at her. Why can't anyone just help me?

"No, I didn't say I don't believe you. I just-" She tried speaking but I cut her off.

"I know you didn't say it but I can see it in your eyes." I interrupted her which was rude but I need her to understand.

"Star, okay you're right. I don't believe you. I just don't understand how your mind can...have a mind of its own."she says.

"I don't understand either but all I hear all day and night is a voice telling me I'm worthless and no one cares about me! Could you just help me?" I say while tears run down my face.

See, she can't help you! Just walk out of this room and run away.

"I don't know how to help you. Could you tell me how to help you?" Her voice was softer and I could tell she cared. She actually cares!

"Help me grieve. I miss my parents, my friends, my home! I miss everything back at my old home." I say calmly as tears started running down my face.

"Well sometimes you just need to cry. Crying doesn't mean you're weak, it just means you're grieving." Her words struck every nerve in my body.

"Are you serious? I've cried every day! I just need someone to help me survive through grieving, comfort me when I'm missing my parents, or ask me if I'm okay even when I'm not!" I say and walk out the door before she can say another word to me.

No one cares about you. No one. No one. No one, absolutely no one. Maybe I should just...

No...dont say that. I'm still hopeful. I'll find someone even if it takes years! Someone out there will help me, I just know it!

Does it sound like anyone is going to care for you? I mean just listen to the hallways!!

I freeze in my place. The halls are already full of rumors about me. Great...I really am an idiot. Why couldn't I just stay quiet!?! I'm such a mess up...such a screw up.

"She's probably delusional." Someone slowly said right next to my ear. Of course I'm being called delusional! Wonder what else they're saying about me? I didnt have to wait for the answer, I hear more people calling me crazy, psycho, weird, and many other things but mostly I hear delusional. I can't hold it in anymore. Here I am in the middle of the hallway, not moving, just crying.

"Awww she's crying. What a cry baby!" Someone shouts and everyone starts laughing hysterically. I slowly start walking with my books pressed against my chest. Before I can walk another step though, someone comes behind me and pushes me to the ground.

"Hey...STOP! Get away from her you jerk faces!!" Someone shouts making everyone go silent. The person slowly walked towards me. I don't move, I can't move. My body is pressed on the floor and I'm sobbing, hurting just about everywhere from the harsh push. The person that shouted is now standing in front of me. I look up to see a girl with black short hair, a skirt, green shirt, jean jacket, and a beanie.

"Hey, you alright?" The girl asks and puts a hand out. I take it and she pulls me up. Everyones eyes were laid right on us.

"Why are you helping her? She's a total creep." A boy says from the crowd. The girl snaps around to the boy who said that. She walks up to another girl and grabs her by the arm and pulls her to the middle of the crowd where I am. She grabs two other people and drags them to the middle as well. What is she doing?

"You see these people here?" She goes to a girl named Jackie and puts her hands on Jackie's shoulders. "What if Jackie screamed in the middle of class? Would you call her delusional or crazy? Would you call him crazy? What about him?" She pointed at the other two people.

"What is she doing?" Someone whispered behind me and people whispered back, coming up with stupid theories.

"Of course you wouldn't call them crazy, why? Because they're popular right? They only care about themselves though. They only act like they care about you because they want to be popular when in reality they're just selfish jerks! So why call Star crazy when she actually needs help and she's a nice person?! Okay, let's go Star." I was stunned by her words. I don't even know her and she defended me! She grabbed my hand and walked me to the bathroom.

"This is probably a stupid question but...are you okay?" The girl looked at me concerned.

"Yeah, I think so. Who are you and why do you care about me?" I ask with a smile.

"Janna Ordonia," she shook my hand. "I care about you because you deserve better than this. You're going through something serious and I want to help." Janna says serious.

"Thanks Janna. I've been through crap these past few days." I say slightly laughing, she chuckles as well.

"Yeah, well, we better get going to our next class." I nod and she hugs me which is probably the first hug I've had in a long time.

"Do you wanna walk with me to your next class?" Janna asks, pulling away from the hug.

"Sure. Again, thanks Janna." I smile at her.

"Yep. Now, let's go to class." We walk out the bathroom and ignore all the whispers in the hallway. The rest of the day I talked with Janna and pulled through classes. I still couldn't believe that someone helped me and actually cares for me. I finally found someone who will be there for me, someone who cares. Thanks Janna.

"Everyone listen up, we have a new student. His name is Marco Diaz." My teacher came back in from talking to Principal Kendrick. After her was a brown haired boy, red hoodie, and brown eyes.

"Umm...hey." Marco quietly spoke and walked quickly to his desk. I looked at him and waved, he shyly waved back. Guess he's anti social so I probably won't hear much from him then. When I smiled at him, though, he smiled back. Huh, he's got a good smile.