Lonely Road (being rewritten)

Section 2

*3rd person*

Anastasia sits on a blanket in front of the grey tombstone. Her small finger traces over the words imprinted on the stone. Usually she feels angry when she visits him, but today she couldn't help but feel upset. Her breathing is ragged and the tears are falling freely down her cheek.

"I forgive you," she whispers. "I forgive you for hitting me, I forgive you for raping me, I forgive you for putting me through hell. You, Caleb Walter, have been haunting my dreams for years. I have been scared to love anybody since I left you back in 2011," she rants to the tombstone.

"He really loved you," a husky voice speaks up behind her. She whips her head around, and becomes face to face with a man she hasn't seen since that day in the hospital.

"Jack, what are you doing here," she questions. A ghost of a smile appears on her face from seeing him.

"It's his birthday, you know?" Jack strides over towards Ana. He looks at her for permission before taking a seat next to her.

"I know," she pauses. "I got your text message the other day," she mentions.

Jack doesn't say anything and the two sit in a peaceful silence. Ana glances at Jack and really studies him. His faces has a little bit of stubble along his chin. His hair is shorter than before, and slicked back some. He traded in t-shirt and jeans for a clean, crisp suit. Ana wonder if Caleb would look differently right now if he didn't kill himself.

"Do you ever wonder what he would be doing with his life," she questions. Jack chuckles out loud.

"I believe that Caleb, Andrew and I would be getting shit faced right now," Ana and him laugh together.

"Happy Birthday Jack," she whispers. His smiles brightens and he leans over to kiss her cheek. A sense of familiarity rushes over Ana. Her cheeks turn a dark red just like old times. She couldn't stick around and feel his love again. She forbid herself from getting involved with that family every again. Ana stands up and dusts herself off.

"It was good to see you Jack," she smiles. "Goodbye Caleb," she murmurs before heading towards her car.

Jack stays planted on the blanket. Every year he comes to visit his brother on their birthday, and every year he struggles on what to say to him. He thinks over everything that has happened this past year. Every memory he has made with his fiance, and every doctor appointment he has had with his own therapist.

"Caleb, I miss you. Nicki misses you too, even though she was only a one night stand in your mind," he chuckles at the thought of his fiance with his brother. "I love her...I love them both, but I can't have Ana," he whispers.

"Why did you have to kill yourself," he cries. "We could have gotten you help that day. If you would have just came out of the bathroom. You didn't have to use that gun, you didn't have to shoot me. You didn't have to shoot yourself," he yells at the stone. His anger getting the best of him. He starts to count down from 10 just like his therapist has told him to do many times.

He rest his head against the cold marble stone. Tears flow out and sobs rip through the quiet air around him. He hugs his knees to his chest, and screws his eyes closed. His body stays paralyzed against the headstone. Several minutes later, Jack calms down and pushes himself off the stone. He says his final goodbyes to his brother, before heading home to his family.

Anastasia hops into her 2015 Jeep Wrangler and drives to her last appointment with Dr. Rebecca. "Feel it Still" by Portugal The Man blasts from her speakers. Her long brown hair blows in the wind as she travels down the highway. The back of her car is filled with brown boxes and suitcases full of her stuff. She flips her blinker on and pulls off the highway, and into the parking lot to Rebecca's office. Ana takes a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. Her eyes close as soon as she releases her breath. Pushing the car door open, she steps out.

She sits in the chair she has sat in many times before this. However the chair feels different today. She doesn't know if it's because she feels completely different inside after her visit to Caleb's grave and the unexpected guest. She doesn't feel any anger towards him anymore, it was like it all disappeared. Dr. Rebecca walks into the small room and takes a seat in the black cushioned chair.

"Good Afternoon Anastasia," Dr. Rebecca greets. "How are you feeling today?" she wonders.

"I-I don't know how I feel," Ana confessed. Dr. Rebecca writes down something on her yellow notepad.

"Well, what did you do today?" Dr. Rebecca pushes.

"I went to go visit Caleb's grave. I thought I should do that one last time before I leave," Ana looks around the room nervously. "I forgive him," she whispers.

"Why do you forgive him Anastasia?" Ana starts to twiddle with her thumbs. Her forehead creases as she tries to figure out why she forgave him.

"I forgive him because what he did was in the past. Even though his actions have negatively affected me since then. However he showed me how to love someone even if they have flaws. He showed me what an unhealthy relationship looks like, and now I know what to avoid," Ana rants.

Dr. Rebecca jotted down a couple of notes. She thinks over everything Anastasia has said so far. Trying to come up with a new question that will expand her understanding of the situation.

"How are your nightmares? The voices in your head?" she questions. She knows Anastasia has always struggled with her inner demons since the first day she met her.

"My nightmares became more frequent when I first started the blog. I feel like writing about all of those old memories opened up a can of worms that wasn't fully closed. All of the emotions I felt during 2011 resurfaced when I wrote it all down, but now the nightmare have kind of drifted away," she pauses. "I feel more free. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Like all of the anger inside of me has faded away."

"You know Anastasia, I believe that you could truly stop writing your blog. That's if you want to stop writing it," Dr. Rebecca suggests.

Anastasia thinks about it for a little bit before telling Dr. Rebecca that she's going to stop for awhile. For the next couple of minutes the ladies talk about Anastasia's big move to Georgia, and her rocky relationship with her brother. One particular question sparks something deep within Anastasia.

"Would you ever consider forgiving your mother?" Dr Rebecca questions Anastasia. Anastasia's eyes focus on her own twiddling thumbs. You could tell she feels uncomfortable by the question, but knows deep down it is time. If she could forgive someone who has physically abuse her, then she could forgive the woman who emotionally abused her.

"I will talk to her," she promises.

Anastasia collects her purse and says farewell to Dr. Rebecca. She scurries out of the office and towards her Jeep. She starts the car and smiles as the R&B slow jam 'Location' by Khalid flows from the speakers. She back out of the parking spot, ready to start her journey to her new life. She picks up her iphone and holds down on the home button.

"Hey siri," she says into the speaker

"What can I do for you," Siris responds.

"Get me directions to Mother's house," she responds.

"Starting directions to Mother's house. In 500 feet take a right."

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Welcome to section two! This section is going to be told in third person point of view with some flashback of events in Ana's childhood. I hope you enjoyed section 1! I love you all!

Xoxo,
AshlynMcG