Titanium

Part 25-Lena

Disclaimer: I own copies of all of Lauren Oliver's books, but I don't own the rights to any of them.

Lena

Tack's eyes bore into mine, as if he is more likely to get the answer out of me than Raven. I quickly turn my gaze away from him and back to Raven, who looks like she's seen a ghost. This isn't something she had ever planned for. Telling him must be one of the hardest things she's ever done. But in typical Raven fashion she simply pulls herself together and takes a few deep breaths before she looks composed. SometimesI forget that Raven really isn't that much older than me. She just has this air about her that screams adult. I know that she came to the wilds as a child. And in the wilds, you grow up fast.  If you don't know where you are going, you are already lost.

I begin to speak, to save Raven from having to deal with this - because I know that no matter how composed she looks, she is freaking out inside - but Raven cuts off. 

"It's okay Lena," her voice waivers slightly, and I know that in reality she is anything but okay. "I can handle this," I look at her incredulously and she simply nods. She may not be okay, but this is something she has to do on her own. Besides, I have no experience in this sort of thing. Suddenly a smirk plays on her lips. An almost smile. A whisper of one. "Go back to Alex. I'm sure he's worried."

I just roll my eyes, but move away from the bed. The prospect of seeing Alex again does make me happy, a weird, almost giddy feeling. I guess after months of us being separated - both figuratively and literally - the desire to be near him is very strong. Just to be in his presence. 

I guess that Tack can sense my happiness or something, because he looks right at me and his eyes grow softer. "And tell him that we are probably going to need to question him. You can't run away for that long and not expect questions," his voice is hard but I can hear the stress underlining it. He must be really worried about Raven. Thinking someone has died - even for a short period of time - can do that to you. I know from experience. 

He sees my shocked and semi-scared face he continues, "Don't worry about it too much, he'll probably be fine. I don't think that he actually did something. And also," he pauses for a second, thinking about his next words. "When I talked to Pippa, I told her about the people in the cities who are immune to the cure. She agrees that we have to do something. There is still hope to save them, to give them a better life. And that's what this is all about, right?" His voice rings with passion. "So be prepared to fight."

I am shocked at this. I should have known it would happen, but we just got out of one fight, why go start another so soon? 

Tack has turned his attention back to Raven, and sits down in the chair. I can tell that this is my queue to leave, so I quietly slip out the door. 

As I walk back to Alex's the magnitude of this new project really hits me. It's something happening all over the country, and figuring out who is immune will be really hard. I wonder if there is anything else Julian knows. 

Just thinking about him makes a lump form in my throat. I don't know what to do about him. I have no doubt that I love Alex, but Julian was there with me for the past couple moths. When Alex wasn't. I spent those months trying to love him. I can't just will all those feelings away in one day. Hopefully it will pass with time. I still care about him. I would still like to be his friend. 

By the time I reach Alex's my head is swirling with all these different thoughts and fears. So it comes as a welcome relief when, as soon as I open the door, Alex has me in his arms.