Why I Run {Prinxiety} - Book One of Why I Run Series

Chapter Five

WARNING: TWO TRIGGERS (I have the triggers marked at the beginning and end of the sections. I'll leave a summary of this chapter at the beginning of the next if ya want to skip them)
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P.O.V.: Virgil, First Person
Timeline: Flashback (cont.)

When I woke up, my headphones were gone.

And at first - it didn't seem like it was such a big deal. I mean, they probably fell off when I was sleeping or something.

Wouldn't be the first time.

But when they weren't on the floor, in the couch, behind the couch, nor anywhere NEAR the couch, nor anywhere else in my room -

I started to panic.

(A/N: Panic Attack Trigger)

I spun around, eying the apartment up and down. Did I sleepwalk or something?

"Stay calm," I muttered to myself, but it was to late - I had already jumped into panic mode.

My hands started shaking. Where were my headphones? Everything felt so horrible, so wrong without them confortably around my neck or on top of my head - my prepared escape from reality.

My breathing started to get faster, even as I tried every exercise I knew to calm myself down.

On my hands own accord, they rose to my ears, doing their best to block out everything.

But my hands couldn't block out my thoughts which were getting worse and worse every second that went by without their helpful distraction.

Where were they? I didn't set them down. I could have sworn that I fell asleep with them on, I thought desperately.

Looking back, I'm not sure when I started shaking, but it didn't take me too long to indeed realize I was shaking.

I really had to find my headphones.

Like FIVE MINUTES AGO.

As my panic started to grow, it started to feel like someone had shoved a sponge in my throat, each breath harder to take than the last. My hands dropped down to my throat on their own accord - as if they could pull out the imaginary sponge just like that.

Where have they gone? How did this happen? I could've sworn that I had them. I always have them...

This horrible feeling filled me and I there I was nothing I could do to hold it back. I just screamed and screamed and screamed until I couldn't breathe, until I couldn't do anything but tremble and cry.

I was out of my room - when had I stumbled my way out? I don't remember - and I slumped against the wall adjacent to my room - unable to hold back my sobs any longer.

Suddenly, a hand rested on my shoulder and I stumbled away so fast I lost my balence and slammed into the floor. It must've hit something because there was a loud crash but I didn't know and didn't care what it was if it wasn't my headphones.

My hands rose unconsciously back to my ears. I could hear someone asking me something, but I couldn't make out the words, sounding all blurry and everything was making me dizzy.

My vision was going in and out. I couldn't hear anything. Who was it? What was happening?

My breathing only got faster and faster and I let the panic overtake me - screaming as loud as I could and sobbing.

Someone made the mistake of trying to reach out and touch me. Their had was immediately smacked away and I let out a belated cry as if it was me who had gotten smacked instead.

I gasped in the effort to stay awake, but I couldn't SEE them and pain in my head had gotten so bad I couldn't move.

Finally, I welcomed the darkness with open arms.

(A/N: End of Panic Attack)

*****

P.O.V.: Roman, First Person

Patton went full into Dad mode the moment Anxiety fainted.

"Roman and I will take Anxiety to the couch. Logan, I need you to go check on Thomas. Make sure he's okay."

Patton didn't look to see if Logan went. He simply leaned down and hooked one of Anxiety's arms over his shoulder. "Come on Roman. Take the other side."

I was in no place to argue. I obediently took the other side, trying to ignore the way Anxiety's head rolled unconsciously between us.

This... this couldn't be over a stupid pair of headphones...

Right?

Together, Patton and I set him on the couch. He hadn't moved.

"I'm going to take out the cookies real quick - they're probably almost done if they aren't already and we don't need the kitchen catching on fire," Patton said. I hovered uncomfortable next to Anxiety.

After a minute or so of silence. Patton came back - the chocolate chip cookie jar under his arm. I stared as Patton pulled out an oatmeal raisin cookie and pressed it against Anxiety's lips.

"That smelling stuff isn't good so I thought this would be a less harmful solution," Patton explained.

"How do you know all about this stuff?" I asked, my voice completely sober. I didn't like Anxiety by any means, but the longer he stayed there unconscious, the more concerned I got.

"I don't know. It was just... instinctive. Any parent would do the same to protect their child," He smiled.

I knelt down next to Patton. I pressed a gently hand on Patton's back, understanding that he was more worried than he was letting on.

Patton gave me a weak smile in return, before rising to his feet.

"Here," Patton said, handing me the cookie and setting the cookie jar on the floor. "I want to go check on Logan. He's been gone too long," Patton added with a frown.

"Okay."

And just like that, I was alone.

I gently held the cookie under Anxiety's nose. He showed no sign of movement.

"Come on," I muttered. "Just eat the stupid cookie. It's a cookie," I persuaded even though I knew Anxiety couldn't hear me, pressing it against his lips.

"You know, Patton told me these were your favorite," I'm not sitting here is silence, no way, "I can't imagine why you like them. Personally, peanut butter cookies are my favorite," I rambled. "I doubt Logan has a favorite kind of cookie. He probably just thinks cookies are childish or something, knowing him. But why would you scorn that chocolate chip cookie, and eat oatmeal Raisin instead? It's a serious question. I mean, you're choosing Raisins over chocolate - naturally anyone would be confused as to your reasoning..."

I drifted off, an odd smell crossed my face and I frowned in disgust. Did the cookies burn - no, Patton already took them out and besides this scent didn't smell like a fire, it was almost... it was some like-

Oh no.

(A/N: seizure trigger)

Anxiety had lost control of his bladder. Which meant...

"Crap, crap, crap!" I yelled as Anxiety started jerking in tiny spasms.

Anxiety was going into an epileptic seizure.

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This chapter sucks.
And for that I apologize.

Also, I've never written - nor experienced, thankfully- a panic attack, so I'm sorry if this is not accurate (I do know the fainting only happens in extreme scenarios, but it helps later on in the story).

Feedback is greatly appreciated :)

I'll fix it. I pinky promise :>

Next chapter is back to Present Day!

-Max :)