Includes angry rants, ridiculously inappropriate, laugh out loud inside jokes, Nessian sexual tension, one shots, the one & only original Daily Programming Good for Nothing Tools, & more!
Warning: if you still aren't caught up with either of Sarah J...
I find that I enjoy these ones immensely. Not mine!
High Lords at a Movie Theater
Rhys: Wants to see the previews; gets there 20 minutes early
Feyre: The only one who remembered to buy tickets in advance
Thesan: Absolutely must stay until even the end credits finish rolling, he does not want to miss a second of the movie theater experience
Helion: Flirts with the usher, laughs too loudly at scenes that aren't supposed to be funny
Tarquin: Low-key crying. "Tarquin, what's wrong?" "It—it's so moving . . . " "Tarquin, honey, the movie hasn't started yet." *sobs*
Kallias: Takes advantage of the deal that gets you free refills if you buy the largest size of popcorn
Beron: The asshole who takes a phone call in the middle of the film
Tamlin: Tries to smuggle snacks under his shirt, but Rhys & Feyre send an anonymous tip & he's forcibly removed from the theater. As he's led away, Rhysand waves, pulls a Twizzler out of his pocket, & winks
High Lords in 3 Words
Rhysand: So much sexy
Feyre: Badass art queen
Kallias: Obsessed with wife
Thesan: Neutral doctor dude
Tarquin: Adorable, PROTECT HIM
Helion: Has priorities straight (jk nothing about him is straight)
Tamlin: Doesn't do anything
Beron: Needs to die
High Lords in Horror Movie
Rhys: The one who sacrifices himself
Feyre: The one who figures out who/what the killer is
Thesan: The one who runs out the front door instead of upstairs
Kallias: The one who screams at everything
Tarquin: The one who says, "Everybody stay calm," & then freaks out themselves
Helion: The one who comes back at the end & finds everyone dead
Tamlin: The one who is secretly helping the killer
Beron: The one who tries to fight back & ends up dead
High Lord Dancing Styles
Rhys: Stripper who's rent is due tomorrow or elegant was-raised-at-cotillion vibes. No in between
Feyre: She's just grooving
Helion: Grinding all the way
Kallias: Looks like he's being electrocuted
Tarquin: My eyes are burning but at least he's trying
Thesan: Thinks he's great . . . Shhhh
Tamlin: Not wasting my time watching him dance, I'm trying not to laugh at Tarquin & Kallias
Beron: White dad at the barbecue. Just before he sets the food & the guests on fire😐
High Lords at a Party
Rhys: Won't drink from any goblets, but it's okay because he's dancing with Feyre anyway
Feyre: Dancing with Rhys, eating all of the food, laughing constantly
Helion: Scanning the crowd for the hook-up of the night
Kallias: Won't let Viv out of his sight; growls if someone comes near
Tarquin: Tries to avoid becoming Helion's hook-up of the night
Thesan: Chatting with his Peregryn captain; I feel like he'd be the one to play pranks on the others & nobody would suspect him
Beron: They're using him to play "Pin the Tail of the Donkey" because he's an ass
Tamlin: Whenever he walks by someone, they whip out a mask & he becomes "triggered"; flees to his manor to suck his thumb
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And before anyone asks, NO I HAVE NOT STARTED READING TOWER OF DAWN I AM FUCKING TERRIFIED TO START IT & I have class four days a week & homework to occupy the rest of my time on those four days, so I'm only able to read three days out of the week, & normally I'm doing crap all weekend, so that just leave one day a week & I fucking hate college.
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