Chapter 34

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My love is seriously put to the test the next couple of days that follow the event of that day.

It's been three days with no signs of Levi, I've called throughout those amount of days but have only hit voicemail and have received zero texts.

I understand that Levi is a working adult and that I'm probably just being possessive but that doesn't fix the fact that I feel neglected.

Like even a single quick phone call telling me to stop calling would brighten up my day.

But it seems like ever since the grocery store incident I can't shake the feeling that I'm being pushed to the edge...

For what, I don't know, but I'm not enjoying being poked with a stick and made to move.

The only time the mood really lightened up was when we went to see Hanji.

When I was told that I was 15 weeks pregnant I was feeling emotional but Levi held my hand throughout all the feelings I had.

But ever since then I've yet to feel the warmth he fills me with and instead have been only feeling anger and frustration.

I like my freedom very much and it's sad to admit but before Levi showed up I was pretty damn happy, not to say I'm not now.

But I was doing good all by myself and I can do good now without him.

The question is though, can I revert back to who I was if needed?

It can't be that hard but that life feels like a shadow to me now and to leave Levi pains me more than anything.

Is it because of the mark? No clue.

But I don't think that'd stop me from loving him...

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With all the self absorbed thinking I'm barely able to get anything done, work and school seem to go by in the blink of an eye.

The only thing that distracts me from not dying from thinking is the baby, homework, and hibernating.

Without these things I don't think I'd be able to even function correctly.

It's not like I want to fret about this and have it consume my time as much as it's taking over me.

If I could I'd leave it be and go on with my life but I can't, it's more difficult and different than before.

But what happens if all this is just a big waste of time and I'm worrying over nothing?

I've rotated this thought countless times and what I've come up with is it won't stop going until I have an answer.

So I do the most non-common thing and pick up my phone and call.

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I rarely call Mikasa for anything, mainly because I don't need to. I don't choose not to because I have too much pride or I'm too stubborn, it's just I've always been one to straighten out my own problems since I was young.

It's not that I don't trust her either, but I don't need people watching over me when I can handle myself just fine... or at least 'til now.

She picks up on the second ring answering with a simple 'what's up?'.

But that simple 'what's up' is almost my undoing, it's been a very long time since I confided my fears and problems to her.

So long that I don't even know how to start the conversation.

"Are you there?"

I force a strangled yes out of my throat and keep myself in check.

I haven't gotten as weak to cry on the phone with her.

"So what's up? You don't call often, it's usually the opposite."

I let the reply 'yea' slip through my lips.

I have no idea how to tell her what's going on and even if I did I don't know where to start, but that's all meaningless when she asks if it has to do with Levi.

She's always had a tendency of figuring out the unknown with me and at this very moment I'm grateful for it.

"Yeah, it kind of... it does."

"Did he hurt you?" The aggression she tries to hide from her voice comes through like a cat ready to pounce on a mouse.

So I have to pick my words carefully.

"He didn't physically hurt me, he's just, I don't know, messing with me!"

"How exactly is he messing with you Eren?"

"That's the thing, I don't know if it should bother me or not but I haven't been in contact with him recently, every time I call I can't get a hold of him, every time I text I get no reply, every time I try to think of a solution as to why this is happening I can't and I blame that incident for everything!!!!"

I'm panting by the time I finished saying everything I said.

"What incident?"

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By the time I finish clueing her in on the whole situation she asks three weird questions.

The first being what's the name of the grocery? Then, what day it was, and lastly, what register?

I have no idea why she needs to know the information but I let it be because I sense no harm and I'm too tired to think about it.

We end the conversation with her soothing me and telling me it'll be okay and I let myself soak in the reassurance.

It's the one thing I need right now...

Yooooo long time no see!!! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and have noticed the length
-Cough, Cough-
It's longer in my opinion, but what do I know Σ(-᷅_-᷄)

Moving forward from that I'm gonna try post a chapter every third week if not earlier and make them long since you guys requested that! (Idk is that to long?)

Also random question time:
How old are you guys? I just turned 20 last month

(I ask cause I'm curious if I'm just a old geezer writing fics lmao)

Anyway thanks for reading (vote/comment) and I'll see y'all soon!!

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