Broken

Chapter 16

Stiles POV

During the next week, Scott hardly ever leaves my side. If he's not there, then Melissa is, so I'm never alone, which I am grateful for. Scott reminds me that he loves me every day many times, wanting the message to sink in. I remind him that I love him too. I'm still surprised that Scott didn't reject me or became disgusted by me. I'm glad he didn't, but I was so sure that he would. I guess it makes the fact that he didn't so much more sweeter. I don't get why Scott would love me out of everyone in this world, but he apparently does, and it makes my heart soar.

The amount of appointments I have during the week with different doctors and psychiatrists is insane. I zone out for most of the conversations, as they all basically tell me the same thing. Some of the psychiatrists ask why I tried to kill myself, but I don't answer them. I don't want them to know. I don't want them to judge me. I don't want my dad to get in trouble. The only people that need to know what happened already know, so that's that. I think the doctors and psychiatrists are getting annoyed with me. Not surprised, since I seem to annoy everyone eventually. I guess it's just a part of my personality, I guess. Another part of me that I hate and wish I could change. Still, I manage to make it through the appointments somehow. Some of the people I see are better than others. Doesn't change the fact that I don't tell them anything though. I sometimes worry if Melissa might tell them something, but then I remind myself that she wouldn't do that to me. I can trust her. I've been spending a great amount of time with Melissa over the week as well. She comes into my room, sometimes with food and drink, sometimes without. She will just sit with me for a couple of hours and we will just talk. We don't talk about anything in particular, but we especially don't talk about what has happened to me. I'm grateful for that. I just need a bit of time to process it all myself. At least Scott and Melissa know what I've been through now. It was scary to open myself up like that to them and let them know all of my darkest secrets. I do feel better for it now though. I know that I will have to talk to them seriously about some of the issues, but I think we all silently agreed that'll be for a time once I have fully recovered.

Finally, my head doctor tells me that my injuries are healing nicely on their own and that I am free to go. I'll just need to come in for a few checkups in the next couple of weeks, just to make sure that everything is okay. He also reminds me that I must go to therapy at least twice a week. I groan in dismay at the thought of that. I hate therapy. It has never helped me in the past. I don't want to talk about my problems or how I'm feeling with a stranger. They always offer empty advice that doesn't really work. It's also annoying because sometimes I just want someone to listen. I don't always need them to offer a solution. It makes me feel worse, I guess. Minimising what I have been through, disregarding it quickly. Just another case for the psychologists and therapists. I am still very annoyed about what that psychologist said to me when my mother died. It was insensitive and very unhelpful and has darkened my view on any sort of professional mental health help for the rest of my life.

However, on a slightly more positive side, Scott has offered to go to therapy with me, sensing that I do not want to go whatsoever and probably will try everything to get out of it. I relax a bit more when Scott suggests that he will go with me. It'll definitely make things a lot easier if I have him there for support. I'm not dreading therapy as much as I used to because of it. Of course I still hate it, but maybe not as much because I know that Scott will be there by my side to defend and support me. Therapy offices always feel so clinical and severe, but I'm sure they'll warm up a bit when Scott enters the room. I swear he can just light up the world just with his smile and laugh alone. I still don't understand why Scott loves me, there are so many better people he could be with, but Scott continues to promise me everyday that he loves me and me only. It makes my heart flutter in excitement and a smile crawl onto my face while my cheeks flush a light shade of pink whenever I hear that. As I start thinking about Scott and everything that he has done for me ever since we met, I realize just how perfect he is. Scott is sweet and caring to anyone he meets, he always offers second chances and forgiveness even to those who don't deserve it, he's brave, strong and courageous and always wanting to protect the people that he loves and cares about the most. I wish I could be more like Scott, to be honest. He does inspire me to be a better person, even if my recent actions don't make it seem like it. I still want to aim to be more like Scott. He makes me want to be a better person. I know it'll be hard for me to change, but I think with some time, motivation, encouragement and support, I can do it. I'll be able to push through this awful stage in my life and beat my demons. It won't be easy, I know that, but I guess that's why I have therapy to try and help. Scott and Melissa will always be here to help me too, which I'm forever grateful for.