Say You Won't Let Go

11

Warning: This chapter contains themes that may not be suitable for some. If you are sensitive to themes such as suicide please stop reading. Read at your own risk.
                                   

Alexa

I never understood how people could just be broken. How they could be so broken in their soul that they could physically feel it as if they were being pounded down to nothing until they felt dead inside.

Now I understand. I finally understand the many ways you could kill someone without stopping their heart.

I hide my head under my hoodie as I step foot into my oh-so-amazing high school. I wouldn't even be here now if it was up to me but my mother was furious at me when I came home last night, demanding why I wasn't at school, why I was doing this to myself, why I was ruining my life.

I turn my head seeing Alison, Madison, and Blake emerge from around a corner my eyes locking with Blake's momentarily before I quickly avert my gaze. Not bothering to stop for the two girls who were too good for this world, I turn and keep on walking. I don't deserve friends like them and they don't deserve to be in the way of the hot mess my life has become.

Maybe it was meant to be like this. Maybe I didn't deserve friends as I couldn't keep my only true friends from killing herself and driving the rest of them away.

"Alexa!" I keep on walking, hoping that they'd just get the hint and leave me alone.

"Alexa, wait!" I stop as someone grabs on to my shoulder and reluctantly turn around.

"Hey, you didn't hear us calling you back there?" Alison questions with an oblivious smile, Madison, and Blake behind her, the latter staring at me with his greenish-blue orbs.

When I don't answer and look anywhere but at them, they begin to take in my appearance, concern flooding their eyes.

"We didn't see you at all yesterday," Madison says. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just wasn't feeling it yesterday." I begin to wonder if they heard about what went down yesterday. If they heard about the crap Paige tried to pull and if Blake told them of our encounter as I fled from school.

The warning bell rings signaling that class is about to start soon and Madison smacks her hand over her head as she groans.

"Crap. Alison, we have to hurry up and turn some late work in before class starts." She turns to me and engulfs me in a hug before pulling away and resting her hands on my shoulders. "Let us know if you need anything, okay?"

As they walk away I make to head towards my locker but Blake swiftly grabs my arm.

"Why do you do this?" He says frustratedly. "Why do you push people away? Why are you pushing them away?" His question catches me off guard but my shock quickly disappears as my face hardens.