Say You Won't Let Go

13

Alexa

IT was dark. Everything was pitch black and I looked around realizing that I was in water again. I began to panic until it registered that there was no crushing pain on my chest- no overwhelming feeling of being suffocated because this time I wasn't drowning. I was just... there.

There was a quick movement to my right and I jerked my head to the side. At first, I couldn't see her. It was like looking through a blurry lens. But then my vision focused and I saw her. She was there, in front of me, her hair floating up all around her.

"Cam?" I tried to call her name but nothing but a strangled noise and a few air bubbles came out. She looked at me with a pained expression and I tried reaching for her but I couldn't touch her. It was like she was here but not here at all.

She held something out to me and I stilled at the envelope with my name on it. I slowly took it from her grasp and looked at it. It was identical to the one hidden in my drawer. When I looked back up, she was gone, leaving me with no explanation.

Just like that day.

"Alexa," My eyes jolt awake and it takes me a second to adjust to my surroundings. "Honey, the doctor's here to see you."

"Hi, Alexa. I'm Dr. Marin, how are you feeling?" A middle aged woman with blonde hair thrown up into a ponytail approaches me, a clipboard in hand.

"I'm okay," I say slowly, still a little disoriented from the dream I just had. It felt so real.

"Glad to see that you've recovered. ARDS is not something most people recover from so quickly."

"ARDS?" A feeling of panic settles in the pit of my stomach.

"Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. It happens when fluid leaks into your lungs blocking the oxygen from getting to your organs. You're very lucky someone found you when they did, we were able to treat it right away."

"But I'm fine now?"

"Well, I just need to check your vitals but you should be A-Ok." She smiles at me as she puts on her stethoscope and proceeds to check my heartbeat, then my blood pressure, and eyes.

"You are good to go, Ms. Parker." She smiles again before talking to my parents and exiting the room.

"So when are we going to go home?" I slide out of the hospital bed for the first time since I've been here, my feet making contact with the cold floor. My parents share a look and my dad clears his throat.

"Oh God," I sigh. "What is it?"

"We don't think you should go home right now." He scratches the back of his neck and I furrow my brows in confusion.

"What do you mean I'm not going home?"

"Honey," my mother comes towards me and places her hand on my shoulder and I was beginning to feel like I was in some sort of movie. "We've been talking and doing some research and this hospital has a great program that offers-"

"You're gonna put me in a fucking asylum?" My voice raises in anger and frustration. I sit back down on the hospital bed, my heart beginning to beat faster.

"Honey it's not an asylum, it's a mental program that-"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" I interrupt her explanation as my eyes began to well up with tears. "You can't do this to me."

"Alexa, you tried to kill yourself. What do you think you're putting us through right now? Do you seriously not see that there's a problem here?" My father says sternly.

"Please don't leave me here. I promise I'll do better." I whisper, grabbing onto both of their arms.

"It's only for a week." My mother tries to keep a calm facade but even I could see how hard she was trying to fight back the tears.

"But what about school?" I try to argue while wiping the tears from my eyes before they could fall.

"We'll have your friends bring your school work, I'm sure they won't mind." I clench my fist and turn away from them.

"Alexa, please don't think we're doing this to punish you. We're doing this to help you. Please understand that."

"Fine." Is all I say.

I was angry at them for just deciding to leave me here as if I was some burden that they couldn't handle. As if I was some mental patient they needed to be cautious of. And maybe what I did was crazy but I wasn't crazy.

Right?

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