Amaranthine Devotion

XIV

The two laughed as Leo pulled up to her driveway. Leo's chest felt tight but full as he looked at her.

"I'll walk you in," He smiled at her. Maella bit her bottom lip and nodded.

"And let me open your door, dammit," He said, stepping to get out. She rolled her eyes.

"It's so out of date, Leo. I can get out of the car just fine myself." She ignored his request and stepped out. He sighed, a smile still lingering on his lips.

They walked up to her steps in silence but it was comfortable and warm. It wasn't the awkward silence that Leo was used to at the end of dates.

"I had a lot of fun with you tonight." Leo breathed into the air, turning to face the woman of his dreams.

"I did, too. I have to be honest, I really expected you to die from nervousness," She giggled, brushing some of his hair from his eyes. Leo's throat went tight as he looked at her.

"I'm still surprised that I didn't," He whispered, studying each and every part of her.

Maella laughed and ran a hand on Leo's arm. He took that as a signal that she liked him. Almost everything she did made him think she liked him. But it wasn't enough for the small part of Leo's thoughts that made him terrified to be close to her.

Leo snapped out of his stare at her and ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat.

"So uhm..goodnight..Maella," He plastered on a smile. Her eyes were confused as she looked at him.

"There's nothing else?" She asked quietly. Leo's lungs felt small an his heart heavy.

"Not that I can think of," He choked out. Maella looked at the sky, nodding her head.

"Of course not. Goodnight, Leo," She said sharply, walking inside the house.

"Maella, wait-" He started, but stopped when the door slammed.

The corners of his lips fell into a frown as he turned back to his car.  His ears screamed that he was such an idiot. His hands shook with anxiety.

He hit the radio to fill the empty silence but all that played was a pop song that he'd never heard as he drove out.

Leo really didn't want to go back home to Ben. He loved Ben like a brother but he couldn't take the usual talk about why he didn't ask her out again or kiss her or at least say they'd see each other again.

He could've gone to Trixi's house. Lord knows she wouldn't judge him what with all the mistakes she's made herself.

Adam's was the first in his mind though. He was logical and never really judged. Just observed.

The older boy lived on a street with a plain name that Leo somehow remembered even though he was notorious for forgetting.

As soon as Leo's knuckles rapped on the door, he wished he didn't.

You can't even stand yourself, how do you expect someone else to, Leo's thoughts whispered.

The door opened to show a sleepy Adam.

"What are you doing here?" He asked blatantly.

"I was near here and I can't see Ben right now," Leo muttered pleadingly.

"Are you guys fighting?" Adam opened the door for Leo to walk inside even though he asked the question.

"No, no. I just can't face him right now." Leo sat down in the chair underneath a painting of Frank Sinatra.

Leo really didn't know a lot of the specifics about Adam. He knew where he lived after dropping Trixi off so many times but he'd never been inside the townhouse. Adam almost never spoke so there wasn't exactly a time for Leo to learn.

"You like Sinatra?" Leo asked, taking the beer Adam held out for him.

"Dad played it constantly. He only had records and they'd get scratched so there are full bridges to songs I've never heard. It stuck with me though," Adam explain fondly, speaking the loudest Leo had ever heard.

"You can take the couch. I think I have a pair of sweatpants you can borrow. Make yourself comfortable," He told the uncomfortable boy. Leo nodded, pulling off his jacket.

The two got situated and Leo laid down to fall asleep.

But of course that's not at all what he did.

Leo was prone to the irregular sleep schedule since he was a teenager. He was a night owl that hated the mornings and stayed as far from them as he could. He replayed movies and songs and thought about what the ingredients were in duck-tape.

Sleeping was a way to make time go faster for Leo. He liked everything slow. He wanted to think and plan. Thinking ahead and making sure things were secure were Leo's main hobbies.

Everything finally moved fast on the date. But it was in a good way. It moved like a a theme park ride that you never wanted to get off of.

Maella's words replayed in Leo's read. They seemed 10 times more harsh in his head than reality. Everything felt tight and hot in his head.

Leo felt like screaming. Screaming at how he couldn't do anything right. How he didn't go to his best friend when he really should've. Nothing felt right in Leo's head

He hoped it would go away in the morning and fell asleep with a tight chest.

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