Xuelei, Tears of Blood

Chapter 45 - Atonement

"I hate him. I absolutely and truly hate him," Shao Ling fumed silently as she paid the craftsman for the day's work. She grudgingly handed the money over to the muscled labourer as he bobbed his head meekly at her in thanks. He would count it out and divide it accordingly to his team.

The Zhen mansion was being rebuilt with her hard earned money. Damn Shuren. Damn him to Hell and back. He knew her love for money, how she hated spending it. Now he was making her pay for the reconstruction of his home.

True ... she was the one who had destroyed it with fire but still ... !! She cursed the master swordsman again.

She sighed. At least she was still getting a steady income from the missions. Right now, Li was sitting in her room, handling her books and choosing missions which she used to do.

She sighed again. It's not fair.

The Sect's operation had been handed over to Li's capable hands. He was fair and choose wisely, her increased wealth was proof of that. Her brother was still there guiding Li and continuing with his storytelling whilst keeping an ear out for information and a watchful eye over the crowd that passed through the teahouse. The boys were busy with assignments.

She had heard that Mei Ling was also making good use of her time. She was now learning about plants and medicines from Shen. She wanted to be able to heal her brothers if they needed her. She wanted to be useful and helpful.

Xuelei had split his time between the Sect and learning under Shuren. Xuelei now did scouting, spying, subterfuge and information gathering jobs. There was more than enough work and it paid very well too. He did not want to kill anymore ... if he could help it. He was changing for that girl, MeiHua. Shao Ling grinded her teeth in frustration. What a waste of prime killing skills and talent.

She wondered if she could change for Shuren.

Xuelei was the one and only disciple that the Master swordsman had taken under his wing and was going to pass his knowledge to. He had dismissed all other hopefuls, even turning away sons of rich men despite the large sums of gold they offered. Many had flocked to the Master swordsman to learn the arts when he had resurfaced but Shuren had chosen to pass all his legacy, skills and knowledge only to his son.

Shao Ling smiled indulgently. Xuelei was a natural. He was a fast learner. She had taught him the basics and laid a solid martial arts foundation in him. She was proud of him. In a way, he was still her Xuelei. It was ironic that she who loved Shuren, had been his partner in fights and in training Xuelei. She only wished she could have been his partner in life as well. Damn Xiuying!

She sighed again coming back to the present. She frowned at the mess around her. If only Shuren didn't have such expensive tastes. He did it on purpose she decided, to punish her, choosing the most expensive craftsmen and materials. Better quality my foot! He was not paying for it, she was!

She wandered in between the debris. The grounds had been cleared, the half burnt ruins had been torn down and the evidence of her treachery thirteen years ago thrown out. Now, new heavy wooden beams littered the place, sawed to specification waiting to be lifted into place to build the Master craftman's vision. He promised a masterpiece, something practical but grand enough for the great Master Shuren. He was honoured to have been given the monumental task of rebuilding a legend's home.

Bricks were placed near the proposed buildings. Coloured tiles were stacked to one side, jars of paint and lacquer were placed neatly in rows waiting to be used and exquisite lattice works were being carved for the place.

Shao Ling was supervising the work. Teams of craftsmen and women had been hired, each doing their own job. Everything was on schedule. The place was coming together nicely.

As the workers left for the day, Shuren appeared from the shadows. "Speak of the devil!" she muttered under her breath.

He was still not comfortable in crowds after hiding from them for so many years. He moved cautiously coming towards her. She watched him, she had to admit, although he was making her rebuild his home, it was not too bad. She got to see him more often and they were actually talking civilly to each other.

Shuren had abandoned his mask, his identity no longer an issue. He was as handsome as ever, more so than she remembered him to be. He had tied back his long dark hair and wore simple practical robes. He reminded her of a tiger hunting his prey, gracefully silent and focused on his target. He moved with confidence and ease in his territory.

As he neared, her heart speeded up.

His eyes met hers.

"Everything is going as planned?" he asked.

"Yes, the main court and foyer should be ready by next week. They will proceed with the inner courts whilst the craftsman will start on the painting and decorations."

"Good."

He would rebuild the mansion. It would be a sort of closure for both Shuren and Shao Ling. The restoration of what once was, the mansion and hopefully their long ago friendship. It would not be the same but it was still better than nothing.

She thought of Xuelei. How like his father he was and yet so unlike him, she also saw Xiuying in him. Xuelei had taken after Shuren in looks, interllect and skills but there was a delicate elegance to him, a kind forgiving soul, that was surely from his mother. He was learning fast and from the best too. Soon be would be unbeatable.

Shao Ling had discovered that she still had feelings for Shuren. Her love for him had never really died but it had transformed from a toxic jealous obsession to a tempered longing and resigned acceptance. She knew she could never have him. He was still very much in love with his wife, Xiuying was still firmly in his heart. How could she ever hope to compete with a ghost?

Shuren took a quick look around and nodded in satisfaction. Then he returned the way he came. He still did not allow her in to his secret residence. He was very careful and wary of her. She knew he took a roundabout way to come here. She still did not know where the entrance was located.

She looked at his retreating back, sighed and left for the little house she had rented. It was no use trying to follow him. He had caught her the few times she had tried. He always knew what she was up to.

Atonement indeed.

On the surface it was her rebuilding Shuren's home, but in actual fact the real punishment was seeing him, talking to him and being with him every day yet unable to have him.

Zhen Shuren kept things polite and civil between them. He may have forgiven her for his son's sake but she knew he would never forget her betrayal.

Everyday as she saw him, she was constantly being reminded of all she had lost, that was the worst punishment of all.