Handle With Clare

Chapter 35: You Dug Me Into A Hole

I swear I had no privacy in this house. "Shut the door please, mom," I said and quickly pulled my pants up and buttoned them.

She nodded then closed the door behind her. "Peter's here?" she asked.

"Yeah, he has some surprise. Do you know anything about this?"

She smiled at me but said nothing. "You'll have fun."

I smiled at her and rolled my eyes at her. "Are we going to the gas station?"

She looked confused for a second, then laughed. "I guess you'll find out."

I guess I would. "Ok then. I will see you tonight?" she nodded as I passed her to get out of the room, to get back to him downstairs. I stopped in the door frame and turned on my heels to give mom a hug. "Love you."

She hugged me tightly, as if it was her only chance to do so. "I love you too Clare."

"You're going to need a sweater!" I heard Peter yell up the stairs at me.

"Maybe it's not the gas station," I said, as I used my deductive skills.

"Maybe not," she smiled as I let go of mom and walked out of the bedroom.

"OK!" I yelled down at him to make sure he knew I heard him. I grabbed a sweater from Farrah's room and gingerly put it on, since my limbs felt stiff and sore.

I walked down the stairs, keeping care that I held onto the wood railing that guided me down the steps. There, waiting at the foot of the steps, was Peter with a grin on his face as if he couldn't hold his excitement for much longer.

"Ready?" I asked as I landed on the ground floor with a slight stumble.

Before I fell, he caught me flawlessly, pulling me in closer, engulfing me in his muscular arms. "Ready," he said, as he placed a kiss on my lips.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, finding that his joy was contagious. "Yes," I said, as I laced my hands with his and with that, he led me to his car then opened the door for me.

I got in and looked around, remembering the last time I was here. Memories flooded back to me in hordes, he carrying me, begging me to stay with him, my as I tried to hold on to what little life I had in me. My breath hitched as I realized that I almost died in this car. I put him through a nightmare when I went with him to his grandparents' land and I shouldn't have. What was I thinking when I agreed to go with him? I knew that I wasn't well, I should have stayed. At least I wouldn't have put him through what he experienced.

He got into the driver's seat and looked at me. "We don't have to go," he said as he cupped my cheek.

I shook my head as I felt my eyes well up with tears. After all that I put him through, he was still here with me and I couldn't understand why. I wasn't sure if I could ever understand him fully. I wondered if this car gave him panic attacks as it did for me. "I'm so sorry I put you through this."

He frowned, knowing what I was talking about. He grabbed a hold of my hand and kissed it softly. "I would do it all again if I meant I got to spend more time with you," he said, then started the car.

As he drove out of the neighborhood, we remained silent as I tried to fight back the memories of what happened. I knew I was pushing it too far when I kissed him. I should have stopped, but I couldn't control my desires as I pushed him onto the ground. I should have just watched the sun raise.

"Want to know how I manage to convince your parents to let you out of the house?" Peter asked, breaking me from my thoughts as we drove down the road.