Fix You

catch you in the halls; nineteen

"who's in the shadows? who's ready to play?
are me the hunters, or are we the prey?"

my alarm sounds as the aggressive beat comes in, and i have no idea how i even got home.

"this is a wild game of survival," at least i slept a full four hours, i guess.

i get up and notice that i'm in the same clothes so i quickly get a white a day to remember tee and black jeans ripped at the knee.

i take the clothes with me and into the bathroom before stripping and getting in the shower.

i remember next to nothing about last night, i kissed matt and then we got in his car and played music but then what. did he wake me up and i just passed out after?

i quickly dry myself off and brush my hair through before blow drying it and putting it into two braids.

the music on my phone rings out as i get dressed, "in the morning when i wake and the sun is coming through. oh you fill my lungs with sweetness and you fill my head with you"

i put on my usual makeup after brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant.

"maya penelope hart, we have things to discuss!" shawn calls from the living room and i quickly kick on my vans and a flannel before silencing my music and meeting him in the kitchen.

he tosses me an apple as usual, and i take a bite as i raise my eyebrows at him to start talking.

"four in the morning?" he questions and i stare him down waiting for him to continue.

"nothing to say to that?" he questions and i shrug looking down at my phone for the time and shawn sighs and takes my phone from my hand.

"hey!" i whine and try to grab it back, but he holds it out of reach and i quietly mumble an apology for breaking curfew for the second time in these past weeks.

"so matt, i met him." he says and i shut my eyes tightly as i wait for him to continue but when he doesn't i shrug again.

"maya-" he says.

"sorry for breaking curfew, matt and i did nothing. sorry for worrying you, thanks for charging my phone. so on and so forth." i mumble taking my phone from him.

"you dating?" he asks and i furrow my brows.

"no." i reply blankly.

"oh because i just figured-" he says as i check the time again before cutting him off.

"hmmm oh would you look at that, gotta get to school." i say throwing up a piece sign and kissing his cheek before taking my keys off the counter and my helmet from the couch.

"we're discussing this later," he calls after me.

"you were worse at my age!" i call back as i pull my helmet on.

"you left your entire bag maya, for fucks sake!" he says and i run back to the door, where he was holding it for me.

"thanks old man," i say muffled through the helmet.

"im only thirty seven kid," he says before i throw up the peace sign and getting on my bike.

-

once i arrive at school the halls are oddly silent and only one or two kids were there putting stuff away and now there's me getting shit out of my locker and into my bag for my first period class.

music blaring in my headphones as i make my way to my first period class, chemistry.
-
soon enough lunch rolls around and i sit by myself under the tree by the back of the campus. i throw my bag down in front of my usual spot beside the biggest tree on campus and grab the apple out of my bag.

"lucas told me what happened between you," i hear a familiar voice from the other side of the tree.

"whatever do you mean, stalker?" i ask him without turning around.

"since when do you and lucas talk anyways?" i ask and farkle turns to sit next to me.

"since forever," he says and i roll my eyes.

"lucas is a pathetic imbecilic dickweed, and why aren't you with your friends?" i ask him even though i pat the seat next to me for him to sit.

he slides onto the floor and shrugs, "i talk to them everyday. i'm lucky if i talk to you every two months"

"lucky, that's what we're calling it?" i ask him rolling my eyes as he does the same.

"he's a mess."

"yeah? well it's not my job to clean him up. and it never was." i say with a tight lipped smile.

"maya we need to help each other," he says and i scoff  and try my best to bite back what i want to say but it proves to be harder than expected.

"that's bullshit and you know it." i say throwing my apple onto the ground beside me.

"maya-" he begins and i roll my eyes.

"what have either of you done for me since riley left? huh? i've saved your ass from bullies, i forgave lucas for cheating on me. i listen to both of your problems whenever you come to me with them but what the fuck do either of you ever do for me? we don't even know where the fuck zay is! so do not pull the 'we're all in this together' bullshit. not with me." i say as i catch sight of matt sitting by himself on the edge of the fountain.

farkle looks hurt and... stunned. and for the first time in history i think i've rendered him speechless.

"catch you in the halls, minkus." i say before making my way over to matt.