As Darkness Falls Upon Us // MCU

bad at love

"So I guess I'll go home
Into the arms of the girl that I love
The only love I haven't screwed up."

♦️

"Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too.

Looks like the boy's too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl

Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl."

♦️

"God damn it!" Peter swore, slamming his door behind him and running his hands down his tired face. He was kicking himself for, in his opinion, fucking things up again. He should have kissed her, he should have kissed her, he should have kissed her... he repeated in his head. He didn't event think of the pros and cons of kissing her at this point. He knew what was the right move and what was the wrong one, and he knew that he made the wrong choice. He should have just kissed her. It was long overdue, and she wanted to kiss him back, too. He knew it. He saw it in her eyes, he read the situation. He knew, he knew, he knew. And he screwed it up.

It wasn't about him being afraid to love her because he didn't think he could love anyone else. He had moved on from that. He was now afraid that because he didn't kiss her, even though he really wanted to, that their relationship would never be the same. They would be caught in the spiraling vortex of "we almost dated" because that was a strange place to be in with someone else since all Peter knew he would think about what could have been love, what should have been...

Just then, he made the same mistake Maize had made not too long ago. Peter looked at pictures of him and Liz, him and MJ, and he was painfully reminded of all the mistakes he made in the past, taunting him, his own face laughing at him from inside the glossy pictures. Some were blurry, bad angled pictures of them when they were half clothed, or out on dates when Liz was camera shy but all Peter's eyes were doing were admiring her, eyes on her at all times. With one glance of a picture of Liz's face, a cheeky smile hidden behind half of her hand, her skin aglow underneath soft lighting, he was immediately taken back to their last night together in the city. In hindsight, Peter was glad he made it worthwhile.

"Liz, come on! I just want to show you something beautiful, something even more beautiful than you." Peter said in his attempt to convince Liz to climb out her window and sneak out with him.

"Unless you're going to take me on a magic carpet ride of the city, Aladdin-style, then no! Do you know what time it is?! It is 2:37!"

"God, Liz, you ruined the whole surprise! And yes I am well aware of what time it is. You've been studying all night and you deserve a break since I know you won't be getting to sleep soon."

"What, like you can fly?" She questioned, skeptical. "Now get off my fire escape before my neighbors notice... my dad has them keep an eye on me at all times, not like they didn't already. They are the literal DEFINITION of nosy neighbors, Peter."

"Do you trust me, Liz?"

"Usually when girls hear that they're going to be manipulated in some way."

"I just want to know if you trust me. Because I trust you enough to let you in on my biggest secret, babe."

"And what is that, exactly?" She asked. Peter didn't give her a direct answer.