the little things.

thank you.

inspired by alwaysscomiche

***

"I don't hate you."

They're both silent, the car dark as the night sky and the quiet broken only by the light falling of rain on the windows. Cold air seeps into their clothes, but they're numb to it; familiar to the chill of night and silence and heartbreak.

Mitch shifts in his seat, shrinks into the over-sized hoodie hanging from his shoulders and turns his attention to the moon shining from his side of the car. His nails are curled into his skin, crescent marks indenting into his palms. "I don't think I could ever hate you."

Scott scoffs, a sad and wistful sound that makes Mitch's heart ache. "You should."

The brunette shakes his head, spares the blond a glance. "I shouldn't."

Darkened blue eyes look up, part of him hoping to catch Mitch's gaze, searching for the answer to his questions. Why not?

A moment of silence follows, seconds stretching into what felt like hours, and then Mitch takes his hand, slips their fingers into the puzzle piece spaces, and squeezes. He refuses to meet his former lover's eyes, simply stares down at bare fingers and remembers when they shone like stars, and his heart beats for the first time in months.

"I don't..." He swallows, licks his lips and grasps for the words. He was never the more romantic of the two. "I don't think I could ever hate you. I love you too much to do that. You were – are my everything. You made nights sweeter and days brighter, and I will always be grateful for that." A small smile plays on his lips as he speaks, falls as he finishes.

"I can't bring myself to hate you for breaking that."

Scott cringes, involuntarily squeezes Mitch's hand in the process and ignores the sympathetic gaze he receives in return.

"Scottie you..." A breath. "I will never understand why you would destroy that – destroy us. I can't ever comprehend why I wasn't enough, why we weren't enough but no matter how hard I try, I never figure it out and I can never hate you for breaking that. Because Scottie you still make me feel that way. Even now, months later, I see the stars in the sky and they remind me of your smile. The ocean of your eyes. My days of your love. I see you everywhere, in everything, and I can never make myself hate you because I love you far too much. You gave me the best of our infinity. You still do."

The brunette swallows and squeezes Scott's hand a final time, slips his fingers away and lets them fall into his lap. "You don't deserve my love. But you definitely don't deserve my hate. You do deserve my thanks, however."

Thin fingers cup his jaw, scrape against the light scruff there, and the blond feels phantom rings marking his skin like before. Mitch is gentle as he turns his jaw towards him, blue meeting brown and melting the way they used to. The way he had missed.

"Thank you, for everything you've done. For making living worth it and death no more than an inevitability. Thank you for the mornings and the nights and the days between, for giving me everything you could in the time you did. Thank you for showing me the best of loving Scott Hoying, and thank you for allowing me to live through the worst. I sincerely thank you. For everything."

And then Mitch is kissing him, soft lips pressed to his, and his shock is overpowered by the nostalgia that washes over him. Tanned fingers are curling into his jaw and clutching at his shirt and his own are curling around the back of Mitch's neck, pressing them together and making him feel weak.

He wishes he could stay that way forever, that they could stay in what once was their car and just live and love the way they used to, that they could pretend Scott hadn't ruined the best thing that's ever happened to him.

They can't though, and he is forced to remember that this is their present, that he's not allowed the luxury of loving Mitch anymore when the brunette pulls away, lips faintly brushing over one another.

"Thank you, Scott Richard Hoying, for letting me love you."

A final kiss is pressed to his skin and then he's gone, slipping out of the car and into the rain toward a life Scott isn't allowed to be a part of anymore.

He sits there for a moment, waits for the tears to start, for the ache in his heart to worsen, for the rain to drown him and the peace to end, but he feels content. Loving Mitch was the best thing he could have ever done, being loved by him was the best feeling he'll ever experience, and ruining him was the worst thing he could've ever done.

But he loves him. And he is loved.

"Thank you, Mitchell Grassi, for loving me."

And he leaves.

***

AlwaysScomiche updated Late today and for some reason it gave me the inspiration I needed to finally update, albeit it's a sad one. I've been trying to produce something for days, because I haven't updated in quite a while, and I'm admittedly pleased with the outcome.

That being said, guys!! The one year anniversary of the little things. is in 10 days! On August 23rd of last year I published the little things. and we've come so fucking far since then. You're all literally so perfect.

I have an idea for what I'll be doing for the anniversary, but is there anything anyone would like to see for it? I have ten days to start working on it at all, and I can write absolutely anything you guys would like, so feel free to take the opportunity to request something!

I've missed y'all so much <3

I always have tons to say, but I never like saying it all, so goodbye for now. Love you all, bye <3

(Ps reading this over and editing/revising I realize this all actually sucks I apologize guys)

(Pss I think I've mentioned this before but I literally never edit my author's notes unless they're important so I apologize lmao)

(Psss for some reason Wattpad is being stupid and won't let me actually mention Lydia, sorry babe)