It was a difficult decision to make. It was a difficult conclusion to come to.
The constant push and pull of stay or go inside her mind was relentless, and an insane mess. There were so many pros to staying but an endless amount of cons as well. And they always say not to let the bad outweigh the good, but when there's such a significant amount of bad up against a small amount of good, that becomes hard, too.
She knew if she stayed she wouldn't be happy. She knew if she continued where comfort was and where she had always been, she would still be miserable. She knew if she stayed she would be stuck doing something when she could be doing a million other things, some that would actually get her pushed in the right direction of what career she chose. She knew the "bad" were actually good. She knew the "good" were going to inevitably be bad.
So: she walked away.
She walked away because if she stayed, her heart would constantly be longing for someplace else. Her mind would always be concentrated on something else that she could be doing. Her soul would forever be intertwined with something else and it felt so bizarre for her to stay if she knew she did not feel a burning passion.
She walked away because she had seen others who did not feel the passion suffer through many years, all because their parents insisted they stay. She walked away because she did not want to be that person. She walked away because she knew she had been that person for two years now. She walked away because she knew in her soul that she was that person.
She walked away because for once, she wanted to do something for herself. She hardly ever did that. She walked away because it was the one chance in her life where she was able to make a decision and make it for herself, by herself.
She walked away despite feeling like a let down. She walked away despite feeling like a complete and utter disappointment. She walked away despite feeling like a failure of a daughter. She walked away despite feeling so lost. She walked away despite feeling like she needed to redeem herself for a sin she had committed.
She walked away because she knew she deserved to be happy. She walked away because she knew she could achieve that happiness. She walked away because she knew she would be happier watching her favorite TV show, writing, singing, and reading. She walked away because she knew she shouldn't stay if a simple, small event was leading her to the feeling of wanting to leave. She walked away because she hoped it was the right decision.
She walked away because she wanted to start directing her own life. She walked away because she was tired of everyone making decisions for her, and talking her back into things she didn't enjoy. She was tired of being a push-over.
She walked away for herself, not to attack anyone, but to make herself happy. She walked away because she wanted to feel happy.
She walked away because she wants to feel happy. She walked away because she believes that everything happens for a reason. She walked away because she believes this has a point and reason for happening. She walked away because she believes this is the start of a new beginning.
I walked away because I was unhappy.
I walked away because I want to be happy again.
