Unloved

Pride

"We're not friends.... we're strangers with memories."-Jennifer Lewis

I watched Jay go, a protest hanging on the end of my tongue. I turned away from the window, tears threatening to make an appearance. Sniffling, I pushed them back, hardening my face.

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

I needed pain.

Pain to keep away the hurt from having my heart ripped out, twice; and dangled in front of me.

Stumbling over to my dresser, I opened the same drawer that my spell book had been in. Neatly folded up was a once beautiful pocketknife. I had found it in the dump with the initials KB on it.

It was mine now.

I sat there, examining the gleaming blade, before pressing it gently against my wrist. Blood welled slightly as I pressed harder.

I weakly smiled through the hurt.

This.

This is something I could control.

I could control if it hurt me or not.

Blindly, I ran it across my old scars; scars that hadn't been touched in years. Blood made a pattern as it seeped out of my wounds. New cuts formed next to old and my arm felt weak.

Sliding backwards down my wall, I chucked my knife across the room, trying to get it as far away from me as possible. I grasped my arm, pain exploding in my head as blood dripped through my fingers. Staring blankly at it, I slowly became memorized and gently dipped a finger in the small puddle forming on the floor. Turning toward my wall, I wrote my name.

MAL.

I examined it carefully, tracing the letters for what seemed like hours. Time slowed down as I continuously traced the letters back and forth.

Mal.

Short for Maleficent.

I snorted. Only my mother would name her daughter after herself.

Her excuse was that she hoped it'd make me strong.

Apparently she was wrong. Glancing at my wrist, I saw the evidence.

A single tear dripped down my cheek as the sun slowly rose, its bland light shining dully in through my window. I needed to be strong.

I needed to survive.

I glanced down at my hidden stomach. "For them." I said caressing the spot where I had just felt a kick. I giggled slightly as I felt a swift kick twice more. Firecrackers,that's what they're  gonna be. I sighed, slowing the bleeding from my arm and struggled up, leaning against my bedpost. I had to catch my breath before limping over to my closet. I took a sharp breath as the memories from last night flooded my mind once again.

Harry had hidden in this closet.

Pushing the emotions to the back of my head, I pulled out the turtleneck sweater that Evie had made me last year. I smirked as I pulled it out.

It was a deep purple with green woven in between some of the strands. I personally liked leather but I couldn't say no to Evie. It made her happy.

And I liked making my friends happy.

A knock sounded on my door as breakfast was announced.

"Your Majesty requests to have you at the dinner table for breakfast this morning." One of her men proclaimed in a somewhat bored tone. I pulled the sleeves down on my shirt, trying to ignore the eyeball staring at me hungrily through the peephole, before pushing the door open.