Love With Emo (BxB)

Bad Thoughts

Well that's what I thought anyways...

I gazed out of the white framed window in my room. The silver light of the moon covered my bed and tinted my hair grayish.

"That's what I though..." I whispered quietly to myself.

Alex stirred next to me in his sleep. I could hear his short, warm breaths escaping through his soft lips. My fingers were placed on to my lips after my gazed dropped to look at Alex.

"Caden? Are you still awake?" Alex questioned tiredly.

"I was just about to sleep." I lied.

I let my hand caress his smooth midnight-black hair, until his half opened eyes had closed all the way and soft breaths had come out of him. I snuggled into my blankets and closed my eyes halfheartedly. Alertness took over my body though... I couldn't stop thinking...

It had been a few days since the day we had sex. Things went back to normal, but my emotions ran wild afterwards. I got the feeling of being lonely, like Alex was going to leave me behind... and somehow it felt so real...

***

I woke up with an aching head, crammed up with thoughts of useless things. Alex was already up and in the bathroom getting ready for... something, on this Saturday.

"Caden you're awake." he uttered surprised after walking back into the bedroom.

"Yea." I yawned.

"Hey..." his voice drowned out. "Never mind."

I stared at him suspiciously and the feeling of loneliness swept over me again, making me shake. I'm scared to be alone... So, so scared.

"You're leaving?" a large amount of curiosity, bravery, and love washed over me.

I could start to see the sweat beads forming on his face, but then he turned away. His hand twitched...

"No, I'm not." His voice shook.

"Don't lie to me." I demanded while standing up abruptly.

He let out a heavy sigh, and then turned around with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes and mouth simultaneously.

"My dad... he's coming back earlier than we both, no, then we all though." he informed while averting his eyes from my face.

My heart slowed abruptly... I felt as if I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, and couldn't even hear... I wanted it to be a lie, a terrible lie!

"When did you know?" I inquired with a shaky breath.

"Two days ago..." he stated.

Just kill me now... fucking two days ago! It felt as if my heart shattered. He kept this secret from me; did he think he was just going to leave one day without notifying me? Who does he think I am? What type of relationship does he think we have?

Wasn't it just perfect few days ago? Was that all a stupid, little, dream/lie? Who does he think I am? Who?

"GET OUT!" I screamed.

"Ca-."

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I cut him off and screamed again.

He reluctantly walked out of my room, but his face... It showed pure sadness, disappointment, even some anger... I pounded my fists on the wall until they bled and even cried a whole lot.

"Caden... I'm sorry; I didn't mean to keep it from you..." He stated from the other side of the door while punching it. "I just, I just..."

He paused... why? I got off the bed and walked over to the door. My head felt cool after placing it on the wooden door.

"I just what?" I calmly asked.

"I just couldn't handle it... I thought it was a lie-that it would be better to not tell you. I was wrong though." He muttered.

I pulled the door open with my bloody hands. Alex's warmth engulfed my body as he hugged me tightly. I stood there, not hugging him back. My eyes full of tears, my tiny heart shattered, my hands bleeding, and my body shaking.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I don't want to go, I don't want to leave you behind." he whispered into my ears. "I don't want weird people watching over you, touching you... You're mine, and mine only."

I felt like screaming again. He didn't have to go... His dad would understand, right? How can he even think about leaving without trying to convince his dad...? Alex gently pulled my face towards his, but I pulled back.

"I hate..." I paused.

His face was confused and hurt. Seeing him like that broke my heart even more. I still love you, but I can't-not now...

"What... what do you hate?" he choked out.

"I hate this..." I lied. "If you're going to go... just go."

"Caden... Don't lie to me." he uttered.

"I'm not. Leave already. Why should you care if I get attacked by another man? You're going to go anyways."

What am I saying? I sound like a crazed woman...

"Where'd my Caden go?"

"It's still me... I just don't want to see you anymore."

Even though my voice said all these things, my body betrayed it. Tears, hands in fists, shaking, a sick stomach, and a pale complexion...

Alex grabbed my arms tightly and pulled me into his arms. I felt teardrops, drop from his face.

"I'm not going to go..." he mumbled repeatedly.

I stared up at him in shock and he stared down at me. His tears splashed down onto my face. My lips trembled as he came down for a kiss. This time I allowed it though and I even hugged him back...

"Caden, I won't leave you. I can't leave you."

He kissed me again, but harder. Alex pushed me against the wall violently and placed kisses down my neck to my exposed shoulder.

"Ale-." a moan escaped my lips as he nipped on my sweet spot.

He began to pull my shirt off and then my pants. My body shivered as his hands gently caressed my exposed thigh.

"Caden, I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I replied.

Alex picked me up and placed me on the middle of my bed....

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*vote and comment.
I'm going to have to end it here!! Happy new chapter!*

m|> :8