I smile and shake my head. "That was ridiculous."

Together, Jana and I start to put together lunch so we can bring it with us. Jordan joins in and snacks on the food while we smack him. To pay for his disturbance, he sets everything into Tupperware containers before putting into the fridge.

I lay on Jana's bed as she packs a beach bag for the lake, bringing sunscreen and towels. "We're just in time, huh?"

She glances back at me. "What do you mean?"

"Before it gets too cold to swim."

I stare out the window, out at the trees. Everything is upside down as my head leans off the bed, my hair nearly touching the floor. Everyone is busy getting ready beside me. I do not have to bring anything but myself and my phone. Jana picked a pair of shorts and a white blouse for me, so I put it on then came to her room with nothing to do. I look like I am on vacation, on an island going on a boat to somewhere with my rich husband. The blouse is more casual than what she would wear, though.

   "So, what are you going to be doing?" Jana asks.

   "I'll probably lay in the sun, get some vitamin D. I'll watch you swim around as you pick up lake guys. Like watching T.V."

   "Lake guys?" She questions.

   "Guys of the Hauls Creek Lake."

   Jana laughs. "There will be no picking up of any guys, thank you very much."

   "You've changed—you know—a lot. I remember that you were all about school, wanted good grades, never thought about boys at all."

   "I was a late bloomer, and my mother threatened me about going to a good college. Now that my mother doesn't care as much, I've found freedom. I prefer it this way," she explains. "We've all changed a bit."

   I nod.

   At the lake, we set down our things in the dark sand. Jana strips down, Taylor takes off her clothes, Jordan slips off a shirt, then Daniel does the same. It is awkward for me, the little weirdo in the corner watching the cool kids relax. I mostly casually look away, pretending to be intrigued by the sand or the water. I know if I glance at Daniel—for even a moment—I'll have rosy cheeks afterward.

   Jana sits down beside me in the sand while the other three wander towards the water, chatting and laughing. "Pretty hot, huh?"

   "Please, don't," I mutter and lay back, unable to look at Daniel. "Not hot. It's normal. Nothing is hot."

   Jana lays down also. "That's a lie."

   "It's just a guy? Who cares?"

   "You care."

   I turn my head towards her. "Why don't you go swim or something?"

   "Trying to get rid of me?"

   "Yes," I mutter and turn the opposite way. The sun warms my body like a weightless blanket being laid on top of me. I relax my face, my arms, my legs, everything. In some way, I become part of the sand, motionless and thoughtless. "Go swim."

   "You look like a dead body. Like a girl who washed up on the shore after her sailboat sunk."

"What do you want?" I groan.

   "You can't just lay over here the entire time, at least come stand it the water, feel the sand between your toes and let loose."

   Jana leaves after a few more rounds of convincing, and I get it through her head that I am truly happy laying over here. With sunglasses on, eyes shut, body laid down like concrete, I now lay still and wait to dry. The sun toasts my skin, so I lather a coat of sunscreen on every now and then, stealing it from Jana's beach bag.

   The towel beneath me protects my hair from the sand, stopping it from getting in, though I am sure a few strands have strayed off. I used to do this in Florida. I laid in the sand while Lila surfed and flirted.  The Florida guys found her irresistible, a sporty, yet girly specimen with sun-kissed skin and sun-bleached hair. She was a mermaid turned human, too free and too beautiful for our kind to admire. Lila turned down all guys with a sweet smile, intending no heartbreak. All words that left her mouth sounded like a flirt.

Sitting up to stretch, I look forward and pause at the site before me.

Daniel is coming my way.

I hold my breath as he gets closer, suddenly needing no oxygen to breathe.

I hold my breath as he gets closer, suddenly needing no oxygen to breathe

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