Secondhand Smoke [m.h]

Part Ten.

"Wake up, sleepyhead.." His voice breaks through my sleepy state.
I feel his cold lips press against my warm skin.
He starts at my shoulder and moves up my neck before decorating my cheeks and forehead with kisses.
I giggle and grab for his waist as I use him as a grip to help me sit up.
I rub my eyes and squint to adjust to the light that fills the bus.
"Breakfast is on the table if you want to eat quick. Fruit & yogurt for today. We're almost to the next stop, love." He tells me as he slides a white t-shirt over his head.
I nod and get up from the bed before realizing I fell asleep on the couch.
How did I get here.. Oh, wow.
"Did you carry me to bed?" I ask him.
He grins which answers my question.
I move past him and walk to the table, taking a plastic fork and eating some fruit and yogurt.
For some odd reason, I hadn't been too hungry so only a few bites was filling.
I walked to the bathroom & washed my face.
I brush my teeth and lean against the wall, bracing myself from the bumpy road we travelled on.
My body was stiff, I definitely needed to stretch. Maybe another good shower later.
I apply deodorant and a little amount of makeup before walking back to the bedroom.
I change into new clothes.
I feel Matty behind me, looking in my large suitcase full of clothing.
"That's a lot of black leggings." He says, a smile playing on his lips.
I playfully hit his shoulder, "I love them, okay?"
"I thought you loved jumpers." He replies, pointing at all my sweatshirts that were folded neatly on the floor.
I let out a breath, "Okay, you got me there.."
He kisses the side of my head before walking out of the bedroom.
I look at my reflection in one of the smaller mirrors and I'm not disappointed.
I don't look as drained or stressed as usual, my skin is super clear for once.
I fix my hair into a braid and spray some perfume on before I walk out of the bedroom.
Matty sits on one of the couches as we approach a huge arena.
"Whoa.." I mumble, my eyes fixated on the large structure.
He smiles, "Yeah.. It's pretty sick."
Once the bus pulls over, he takes my hand and leads me out.
We come into view of fans lined up against the building. They all begin to scream wildly.
Their security lines up around us, prepared to push the girls back.
Matty waves to a few of them as we walk towards the back.
"Matty! Matty! Sign my forehead!" A girl shrieks.
He turns his head back and releases my hand for a moment to take her Sharpie and sign her forehead.
She smiles big and thanks him before running off.
This starts a long line of girls with albums, posters & their merch pulled out.
Matty goes across the line and takes their Sharpies, signing everything for them.
"Sorry! I have to go. Thanks for coming." He tells them before turning back to me and taking my hand again.
We walk in the back door of the arena together & greeted other stage managers and tour crew.
Matty tossed me a bottled water and he took one for himself before we walked on stage.
"What are you wearing tonight?" I asked him, looking around the large arena that stood before us.
He grinned, "Leather jacket, maybe the platform boots. Skinny jeans."
"Sounds really hot. You'll do great up here. This stage is huge." I say, looking up at him.
He bites down on his lip, "Actually.. what would you think about being front row?"
"What? How? Why?" I ask, confusion written all over my face.
He points down to the barricade.
"The only people who will really be down in front is our two photographers and a couple security guards. Other than that, there will be space down there if you want to be front row. It's up to you, love." He tells me before kissing me quickly on the lips.
"I have to go get ready. They'll let people in soon so be careful. You're welcome to walk in front of the barricade, anywhere backstage.. take any food or drinks you want. If you need me, I'll be in my dressing room." He tells me before jogging away.
His curls bounce as he jogs and it makes me smile.
I stare out into the large room and pace back and forth on the huge stage.
I can't imagine what it's like to play on a stage like this.. when the room is filled with people.
I give them all credit for doing that all the time. It must get tiring.
My eyes flicker over to a folding chair that sits off to the side and I sit down before opening my phone.
I come across a bunch of notifications on Twitter. My followers have went up by 3,000 overnight.
What the hell happened?
I tap on some of the notifications to see a picture of me sleeping.
You can't see my face but you can see an overhead view of my wavy hair and my body curled up against Matty's.
It was posted last night.
The caption reads "ILIWYSFYASBYSUOI" but there's no tag or anything.
Fans must have went searching or something & came across my profile.
Strange.. but the photo was sweet of Matty to post.
It was a cute photo & it was crazy that he'd even want to post about me.
I wondered what those letters stood for but my thoughts were cut off by the sound of screams as fans poured in the doors.
I watched them from the side of the stage as they practically tackled each other for barricade.
These people camped for those spots. It was impressive and I couldn't believe some of the dedication they had.
Their opening act came on and preformed. The room's intensity began to rise.
The anticipation could be felt as the opening act thanked The 1975 for allowing them to be a part of their tour.
"Pssst."
I turn my head around to see Matty in his outfit.
My jaw drops a little, I could probably drool everywhere.
"W-wow. You look amazing." I tell him as I take his whole look in.
Black really is his color, although he looks good in anything.
"Thanks, love. Good luck kiss?" He asks me, puckering his lips.
I grin and run over to him before kissing him. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his torso.
He tastes of cinnamon & cigarettes and I've grown to love it.
Maybe he can be my addiction.
We stand behind the stage and slowly peak through the curtains.
He hugs me tight before setting me down, "Got to warm up, love. Will I see you out front?"
"Yeah, probably." I answer.
He nods before walking away.
"Oh, Matty?" I call out.
He turns to me and smiles, "Yeah?"
"Thank you.. for the post." I tell him.
He winks and blows me a kiss before disappearing through a doorway.
I bite down on my lip and turn around before almost running into George.
"Sorry. Good luck out there. Have a good show, George!" I tell him.
He smiles wide, "Thanks, Bella."
I nod and move past him before cautiously moving towards the side of the stage.
I look down the hallway that leads to the front of the barricade and my heart sinks.
What if I get hate? I should probably prepare myself for that.. I mean, the show is really about them.
I don't want to cause any upset in their fanbase.
Gosh, it's probably conceited that I'm even thinking that.
How I feel about Matty is stronger than anything anyone else could give me.
I take a deep breathe and move towards the exit.
I breathe in the smoke that carries out into the crowd as their instrumental waiting music plays.
As I walk through, I stare up at their rectangles and my heart rate speeds up.
They're so beautiful up this close.
"Hey! Are you Matty's girlfriend?" A girl calls out.
Shoot! What do I say? Do I ignore her?
No.. that's not me. I don't ignore people.
I can't lie to her and say we're dating because we never mentioned that.. we're just friends with benefits for now, right?
I turn around to her, "No, I'm not. He's a great guy, though."
"You've met him!? That's so cool. What's he like?" She asks me.
Her friends all stare at me and wait for me to speak. They nudge other people in the pit and soon, it feels like everyone towards the front is staring at me.
Their chatters get slightly quieter as if to allow me to speak.
"All of them are wonderful.. but you mentioned Matty. Matty is.. Matty is amazing. Matty is smart, loving, funny, kind, caring, talented.. of course. He feels so much though & passion runs through his veins. He takes darkness and turns it into art. I admire him a lot for his strength & who he's become. He has this comforting aura and I know him & his music may have saved many of you. That's a beautiful thing that I've been lucky enough to witness. They give hope & strength through their music and it's incredible, right?" I ramble.
Everyone nods as I speak.
"Here's to being alive, right? You all did it. This is a celebration!" I yell.
A lot of the crowd cheers and the rest catches on, leaving the room filled with spirit.
A few of them thank me and pull out their phones to take a selfie with me.
I pose as they snap the photos. I smile big and they thank me again before I walk towards the middle of the stage.
The instrumental gets louder and the crowd begins to go insane.
I feel my excitement go up as well.
You can just feel that it's going to be amazing.
Their intro kicks in and they slowly walk on stage, each of them earning cheers from the crowd.
"Love Me" fades in and I watch as Matty walks up right in front of me and points his fingers in the air.
The crowd screams and everyone records as Matty begins to dance and the rest of the group begins the music.
I decide to join along as everyone sings. I pull out my phone and start to take photos as Matty stands in front of me.
He looks down at my camera first and pretends to kiss it before leaning over me to move towards the crowd and give them some love.
I smile as he towers over me. This feels incredible.
As the set continues, they continue to wow everyone.
Their music sounds like perfection and Matty's vocals are killing it.
All of a sudden, "Robbers" fades in and everyone loses their minds.. including me.
It had become one of my favorites as I listened to more & more of their music.
Matty walks up in front of me again and looks straight in my eyes as he sings.
"She had a face straight outta magazine.."
The crowd doesn't seem to notice or care as he continues moving across the stage.
Little moments like that mean so much to me because he doesn't have to and it seems risky sometimes, but he does it anyways.
That makes me believe that he cares about me.. and I mean, I'm so lucky.
In every way.
The blue lights look amazing against his skin as he continues to sing.
"But if you just take off your mask.. You'd find out everything's gone.. wrong.." He sings, his voice getting raspier.
He walks over in front of me and leans slightly, "You sing!"
"Now everybody's dead!" We all scream in unison.
He continues to sing as he stands in front of me.
I take my opportunity as the lyrics come up.
"She says, 'Babe, you look so cool.'" I sing along with him as I stare up at him.
He looks down at me to sing, "You look so cool."
He then steps one of his platform boots on the speaker to sing a high note.
He hits every cracked note perfectly and everyone cheers loudly.
As they finish the song, the crowd erupts in cheers and I clap as they sip water and prepare for the next song.
I take it upon myself to walk backstage to get some water. It's very humid & hot in the arena.
I couldn't even imagine how the pit is feeling.
I chug an entire water and sit down before pulling up one of the photos I had taken of Matty.
It actually looked pretty cool.
The blue lights and his pose just looks incredibly perfect. He's perfect.
They all are. The whole show is.
Gosh, am I morphing into a fangirl?
I hear footsteps stomp down the steps and suddenly Matty's lips are against mine.
He's hot and sweaty but I don't care at all. I kiss him back anyways.
He doesn't say anything and runs back to his dressing room before emerging with a new outfit seconds later.
"Encore & then I'm all yours, babe." He tells me before running back on stage as their music fades back in.
I laugh to myself as I process his words.
He can be such a crazy idiot and that's one of the many things I love about him.
Love.
There's that word again.
Do I love Matty?
I guess everyone has their own definitions of love. I mean, I think I love Matty.
I'd put his needs before my own. I'd be there for him through all the ups & downs.
I'm prepared to love him through any bumps in the road or arguments we may have.
I feel like I'm ready to have him in my life, to start something.. that could be selfish.
I can't tell him because that could ruin everything.
I decide on keeping my feelings quiet for now.
The show ends and everyone cheers as they run off the stage.
"Yes, oh my god! What a fuckin' rush!" He exclaims.
He takes my hands in his and pulls me up from my sitting position.
"Be my girlfriend." He blurts, smile spread wide on his face.
I furrow my eyebrows, "W-What?"
"My girlfriend. I want you to be my girlfriend." He repeats.
I almost still can't believe it for a second time.
My mind & my heart speak for me.
"Yes. Oh my god, yes." I answer.
He yells out of excitement and grabs my hand before leading me outside and on the tour bus.
As we walk we stop at random moments to make out on the sidewalk, his hands moving across my lower back.
Our mouths try not to form smiles as our lips mold together.
He leads me the rest of the way onto the bus and we run to the bed.
He lightly pushes me onto the bed and I take off my sweatshirt.
He pulls off his shirt and roughly kisses me. I love every second of how he loves me.
I feel his strong fingers pull off my leggings with ease.
He removes his jeans as he shuts the sliding door behind him.
I stare at him from the bed and wonder how on earth I got this lucky.
He opens a small drawer and pulls out a condom.
"Are you okay with this? It's okay if you're not.." He asks me.
I take a deep breathe.
Do you tell him you're a virgin?
"I-I.. Just, kiss me first." I blurt out.
He smiles and crawls on top of me, lifting my body up so my head rests comfortably on one of the pillows.
He kisses me roughly, his fingers trailing from my chest down to my stomach.
As his kisses become sweeter and softer, I feel his fingers slide into my lace panties as his fingers pump inside of me.
"Oh, god. Matty.." I moan.
I feel dirty & naughty when I'm with him but it's something that's so new and exciting.
He moves his fingers gracefully & fast, like I'm a piece of beautiful art that he doesn't want to destroy.
I reach my climax and melt under his touch.
He grins as he kisses me again before pressing his forehead against mine.
I watch as he licks his fingers before picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom.
I giggle all the way there.
Luckily the bus windows are heavily tinted and the bus drivers are allowed on break overnight while we're stopped here.
My body feels somewhat exhausted from the pleasure but I step into the shower with him, our bodies are almost touching.
He pulls the elastic from my braid and unleashes my wild waves.
He pushes them to the side and kisses my neck. It leaves chills running down my spine.
I lean against him as he pulls my body wash out and lathers it in my loofah.
I almost stop him but decide not to as he begins to lather my body.
It's not even sexual, it's just comforting & loving. I can feel it in my whole body.
The water pours over my body and washes the foam away.
He picks out my shampoo as well and lathers my hair while giving me a head massage.
I grin and lean into his chest, shutting my eyes.
Everything feels perfect in this moment.
I take it upon myself to rinse my own hair before grabbing his body wash and washing his body.
I stop to massage his shoulders, figuring he was probably incredibly sore after the show.
His eyes widen before he leans into my touch, "Jesus, when did you pick this up?"
I laugh, "My mom & my grandmother used to get back aches all the time. I had to try to help somehow."
"You're a dream come true." He says in return as he rinses off.
As I begin to shampoo his hair, I start smiling really big.
"Your hair is absolutely incredible. Can we trade?" I ask.
He laughs, "It's pretty wild, actually. I don't think you'd want it."
I massage my fingers into his hair and against his head.
"Damn, you're great at that." He tells me.
He rinses his hair out and we step out of the shower together.
We pull our towels down and dry ourselves off before walking back into the bedroom.
After that experience, I feel closer to him.
"I completely forgot to ask if you like, needed anything.. I feel selfish." I mumble.
He shakes his head, "God, no. You're my girlfriend. You said yes, that was an accomplishment. It was great enough to see you under my touch, don't worry. It shouldn't be about me."
"You deserve it, though." I respond.
He laughs and places a cigarette between his teeth.
He moves towards the front of the bus for a smoke break with a towel tied around his waist.
I slide on underwear and a large t-shirt before climbing into bed.
Everything feels relaxed but also tired. Today was incredible and I feel so.. at home. Comfortable.
It makes my heart hurt to think there's only 4 more stops before this is over.
Matty comes back inside and I hear him brush his teeth before returning to the bedroom.
His damp curls look so beautiful.
"You're so thoughtful." I say to him.
He slides on boxers and a pair of sweatpants.
He raises a finger at me, "Don't you ever smoke. It's awful."
"Okay, dad.." I tease.
He rolls his eyes and climbs into bed with me.
He pulls me in his arms and I adjust my eyes to the darkness.
I move my fingers across the tattoo on his chest.
My eyelids grow heavy and I eventually give up and let them close.
"Oh, Isabella.. you're a better person than I'll ever be." He mumbles.
I hear his words and a small smile forms on my lips.
I feel his hands begin to stroke through my thick, damp hair.
He begins to hum a calming melody before moving into actual lyrics.

"Well I know when you're around cause I know the sound.. I know the sound, of your heart.."

He sings me to sleep.