I was once human (sterek)

Chapter 22

Stiles and Derek were sat at their seats waiting for the civil celebrant to begin the funeral as everyone was ready or as ready as they could be.

A man walked out and started talking but stiles wasn't listening, no- he was focused on the large wooden coffin infront of him that held his best friends lifeless, colourless body. Stiles wanted to be sick, he wanted to scream, shout, cry which he had been inside of his head all day but he was stuck. He's frozen and he couldn't move so he just sat there and stared, stared at the coffin whilst Lydia's mother and father sat next to them weeping against each other.

Stiles turned, Scott was seated behind him and had tears in his eyes. He didn't look any better than stiles, infact, not many of the people surrounding them weren't crying or sobbing. Stiles turned back to the front and Derek turned to him, worry evident in his eyes as stiles swallowed thickly and Derek squeezed stiles' hand again with his own which were hanging between their seats, clamped tightly together.

Stiles didn't know how long he sat there, hearing nothing and just taking in the surroundings, he didn't need to listen to the guy speaking, he didn't think it was right to have priests or civil celebrants host funerals.

He thought it was disgusting to allow a person earn money off of a dead person because that's all it was to this man- a job. He couldn't care less who was in that coffin as long as he was getting payed. He'd never even seen her before but yet here he was, talking about how amazing of a person she was and what wonderful things she did......

It made him sick.

Just like at his mothers funeral, the man went on and on about what an amazing wife and mother she was and stiles was so angry, angry that this man was pretending to know his mother just to earn some money. He couldn't understand what would make a person want to be so cruel and fake- that was all stiles saw these priests and civil celebrants as- cruel and fake.

Stiles looked back up to the coffin and looked at all the photos of Lydia resting on the shiny wood. One of the photos was of her, her mother and father and they were all smiling, arms wrapped around each other. Stiles had no idea who took the picture but whoever did did an amazing job because the lighting was perfect, reflecting of all of their faces making their smiles seem brighter and eyes look wide and happy. Looking at that hurt.

Stiles quickly moved into the next photo which was of Lydia by her self. Again, he didn't know who took the photo but this one seemed less professional as the quality and exposure wasn't as amazing but it was still a great photo. Lydia's hair was tied loosely on top of her head, pieces falling out of the messy bun down the side of her face, framing her face amazingly and there was that smile again, shining brightly and her lips coated in her usual red lipstick that was always applied so perfectly. Stiles couldn't look anymore.

He moved onto the final photo which was a picture of before stiles' left. It was of Lydia, Jackson, Scott, stiles, Erica and Boyd and if you looked close enough you could see Derek pottering around in the background. The photo was taken when stiles thought everything was going perfect and stiles looked at himself in the photo. His scrawny, skinny body and he grimaced. He hated himself in that photo. He honestly didn't know what Derek saw in him back then because he was a sack of bones.

He moved his eyes away from himself and to Lydia, Lydia had taken the photo and he remembered Lydia demanding a selfie and him and Derek had been the only ones to refuse, he hated pictures of himself but Lydia had grabbed him and forced him in the photo, everyone had tried tempting Derek into it but he just walked away so Lydia shouted "cheese" and so did everyone else and the picture came out perfectly, Derek  featuring in the background even though her refused to be apart of it. Stiles smiled at that and turned to look back at Derek, he had changed so much since then.

Stiles often wondered what it would've been like if he hadn't gone into the woods with Scott that night. Scott wouldn't have been bitten so they wound have most likely never have met Derek then they wouldn't be where they are today, holding hands and wearing black suits.

He didn't want to think about not being with Derek. It made his chest hurt but luckily he had convinced Scott to come into those woods that night. He was grateful for that at least.

Stiles looked back up to the stand where the man was stood to see that he had been replaced by her parents who were still crying. Her mother dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief and her father trying to keep his tears from spilling over his eyes and failing quite miserably.

He was reading off of a card, obviously his eulogy but stiles still wasn't listening. He was focusing on his face, the was he obviously hesitated in his speech as the tears got in the way and how he swallowed so hard stiles could see it from his seat. He just wanted this to be over, he couldn't hold on much longer.

Meanwhile, Derek sat there and listened. He listened to every word said and sympathised those who were in a state.

He watched the parents and listened to their speech about how Lydia was such a great girl and how she was so smart and beautiful and kind to the world and they were right, she was amazing.

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After what seemed like an eternity, the funeral had finished. They lowered her body into the grave that had been previously dug and covered her coffin. Only then did stiles start crying properly, he would never see her again, ever and he could not get over that.

Stiles quickly got out of his seat as everyone else already had but instead of chatting like everyone else he ran out of the memorial garden and sprinted to Dereks car. He felt the familiar panic rising and he noticed he ran out without telling Derek but that didn't matter in the moment as he was on the verge of full blown panic-attack. He didn't know it were possible for him to have one as he was now supernatural but he guessed he could and he sank down to the floor next to the tyre of the camero and pulled his knees to his chest- which was difficult in the suit but he managed- and his vision blurred and tilted as his head swayed.

His breathing was laboured and heart was pumping out of his chest and he heard someone calling his name in the distance but was too unaware to know who.

Suddenly he was dragged out of his position on the floor and against someone's chest. His vision slowly cleared but his breathing increased as he panicked more but he was unable to move as he hung almost lifelessly in the persons grip. He looked up.

It was Derek.

There was no one else around them. Stiles was relieved aloud that but Derek was talking to him only he couldn't hear Dereks voice. He stared at him then his lips, trying to read what he was saying but he couldn't think, suddenly like out of a movie, everything came rushing back and he could hear everything and see everything and it was so overwhelming that he just collapsed against Derek, trying to catch his breath.

" stiles can you hear me?" Derek was saying in a soft tone. Stiles nodded against Derek's shoulder.

" let's get you home."

Derek placed stiles in the passenger seat and just as they were about to leave the others from the memorial came out of the garden and started piling into their own cars.

Stiles couldn't wait to just get home and cuddle.
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Once they got back, the first thing stiles did when they got through the door was cling onto Derek for dear life. He pulled him to the sofa and just sat there holding Derek.

" stiles, come on let's go get changed" Derek said but stiles didn't move. He just stayed in the same position. Derek huffed then picked stiles up and trudged up to stiles' room and changed them both into some more comfortable clothes then allowed the cuddling to commence.