The Nexus

Chapter 23

After Emma had freshened up she was starting to feel sluggish again. It was the weight of all her memories that was dragging her down. They flashed through her mind at random intervals. Nothing was in order. She would remember abuse that she had suffered, then a person she had killed, and maybe some of her days in the recruitment center. Her life was unfolding to be a tale of pain and horror and she still hadn't even allowed the worst memory to completely surface yet.

The image of flames and screaming flashing through her mind. She knew what it was, she just didn't want to relive it yet.

She left the community bathroom with wet hair and walked down the hall toward the stairs.

There were people in the room at the bottom of the stairs and the conversation stopped as she reached the landing. She felt insecure as she turned to go down the next hall that led to the large meditation room she had seen near the dinning room. She wasn't sure that meditating would be a good idea at this point because her mind was racing.

When she had originally faked her own death she had meditated and read books about spirituality and religion, but the only thing it taught her was how to fake compassion and pass for more of a human being like everyone else. During that time, clearing her head wasn't much of a problem with the exception of that nagging voice whispering in her head. Now there weren't voices as much as just images. These images were more threatening to her sanity than any voice had been.

She walked down the hall and saw Thomas standing at the entrance to the meditation room. Seeing him created a warm feeling in her chest. It seemed like he was there to protect her somehow and she never would have imagined that this man of short stature would have ended up being her protector, but she knew that he was slowly becoming her emotional rock. Like he was a lighthouse she could see from a stormy ocean.

He smiled at her and the warm feeling in her chest became so intense that she had to slow down. In fact, all her feelings were slowing her down.

She shook herself a little, avoiding being completely engulfed in her emotions, and walked through the door while Thomas placed a protective hand on her lower back to help lead her in.

In the room people were scattered around on the floor. Most of them were sitting cross-legged with their hands on their knees palms up, a couple were just laying flat on the ground. Emma could feel something in the air that reminded her of the night she saw the nexus, yet there wasn't anything there. The room was quite large and there were about fifteen people in there including Joan and . Thomas lead her to a corner where there were piles of large pillows and handed her one. He took one for himself and found a nice open area on the gray carpet for the two of them to sit.

Emma resisted the urge to hug him and sat on the large red pillow that he had chosen for her. The room was darkened and there was nothing on the walls. She had expected some sort of alter with flowers and incense, but she realized that these people were not superstitious, or religious for that matter.

A few people seemed to notice that Thomas and her had sat down, but for the most part, people were focused on their own meditation.

She copied the cross-legged people and closed her eyes. Her mind was still flashing images so she allowed it to happen and just focused on the brief seconds when there was nothing in her mind. Every time there was space in her mind she would relax a little more and she found herself feeling a little of the weight lifting from her body.

"Just be in this moment as much as possible, Emma," Thomas whispered, low enough for her to hear, but not loud enough to disturb the others. "Whatever thoughts you might have, let them come and then let them go away. It's the way the mind works naturally. Memories, thoughts, all of that is either in the past or the future. You can't deal with any of that right now. Just deal with now, and the quiet that surrounds you." He stopped talking and she could hear him adjusting himself on his own pillow, sense him relaxing near her.

After a while, Emma's mind was starting to clear. She could feel the warmth that was in her chest for Thomas, spreading throughout her body. The buzz that was in the air when she had originally entered the room was starting to feel almost like a small electrical current running through her and, more and more, she was able to allow thoughts to float away in her mind and keep focused.