A Pretty Little Parody [PLL]

39. Alec's So Far in Denial, He's Practically Egyptian!

The following day after school, I stood in front of a long table in the lobby and watched as Scott got his valedictorian's pin from Miss Swamp, the bitchy art teacher who was in charge of the seventh-grade graduation. I was glad she wasn’t my teacher--rumor had it that she gave out detentions if she didn’t like the color nail polish you were wearing.

“Thanks!” Scott said, pinning the obnoxious gold medal smack in the middle of his mint green button-down. I snorted. He looked like Christmas and his birthday had come at the same time.

“Come on,” I said, walking faster. I hadn’t bothered to really study this year, so I wasn’t on the speaker’s list at graduation, but it didn’t matter to me. I’d just retrieved my seat assignment and the two tickets each family was allowed for the event. All around us, kids were chattering excitedly about graduation--the school handed out fake cigars to the seniors who were headed off into their unknown future, and sometimes those seniors gave them to the seventh graders who would be moving up next year. I had already worked out a deal with Henna Cockcutoff, so I wasn’t concerned. Benji Thompson stated that he was going to wear his blazer inside-out. Aurora Carter said that she would wear bright pink lipstick. I rolled my eyes as I passed. “You guys are so lame,” I teased. “Inside-out clothing and bright statements are in the out-column this year.”

Benji rolled his eyes and Aurora gave me the finger, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to think of a clever comeback. I felt a swirl of anger as Scott and I walked toward the parking lot. All year I’d waited to walk in graduation--Eli had said he’d be flying back just to see “Sasha” earn her diploma. But now that it was here, and he wasn’t, the whole thing felt tarnished. I hadn’t been able to sit still in my classes all day in fear that the mysterious texter, whoever she was, would burst through the door announcing my secret or post it on the Gossip Girl website or something.

Henna’s car stopped in the parking lot, and I looked up and waved. She turned the ignition when Scott and I climbed into the backseat next to Moby and pulled toward the exit. As we wound through the massive crowds of people, Moby smirked and jabbed his finger at the window, leaving an oily mark. “It’s our favorite couple. I can’t believe they haven’t completely self-destructed yet.”

I craned my neck to see. It was Malaria and Ivana. They held hands, and when they approached Ivana’s silver car, Malaria pushed Ivana up against it and gave her a big kiss on the neck, to which she squealed and twisted away.

“I can’t believe karma hasn’t kicked Ivana’s ass yet,” I snapped, feeling a rush of envy and injustice mix with the anger that had already been swirling inside of me. “It’s not fair--she ruined my relationship with A and she still gets to have Ivana.”

“Don’t forget what she did to Alec, too,” Scott said, his eyes blazing. Evan and I had briefed Scott and Henry about the little exchange between Henna and Nina we’d seen last night in the tree house, and we were planning to tell Alec about it today. Secretly, I thought Scott was overjoyed that Nina was only pretending to like Alec, because he couldn’t stand the fact that his best friend had a girlfriend and he didn’t.

“Let me handle it.” Moby reached over, grabbed my phone, and started typing.

“What are you doing?” I demanded, grabbing my phone back and reading what he had written. Want that kiss? Meet me tomorrow night. My yard. Nine PM sharp.

“You sent that?” I asked, feeling both shocked and admired at the same time. Moby had cojones, that was for sure.

He flashed me a smile of blinding white teeth. “Yup.”

There was a reply within thirty seconds. I checked it, my palms sweaty. You got it, Ivana had written back.

“Lucky bitch,” Scott said through his teeth. I tried to muster up a flare of excitement--after all, kissing Ivana Toodamnsexy was still kissing Ivana Toodamnsexy, no matter what a lying, manipulative bitch she was--but I felt nothing.